My sister has colon cancer. It has spread to her lungs, liver, and abdomen. She's been on very aggressive chemotherapy since August of this year. So far, knock on wood, the chemo actually seems to be helping.
Next Wednesday we have an appointment to see her oncologist. He's really a wonderful man and will answer any questions we have if he has an answer for the questions.
My sister and I had a little talk the other night. She asked me if she should ask him something. She wants to know how bad her cancer is. She wants to know if there is a possibility she will feel good this month and then get so sick that she will die next month. She wants to know what the symptoms will be before she dies. She wants to know if she should ask him these questions because she isn't sure she wants to know the answers even though she does want to know.
I told her that when he told us her cancer had spread I asked him how much longer she had. She was out of the office by this time and I was alone with him. My sister was surprised when I told her I asked. I told her that he said that the chemo she would be taking had great results and that we had to wait and see how much it would help her. I also told her that he said that she had cancer for over a year and we're all still around and we have to take things from there.
Do you think she should come out and ask him her questions? I told her that as long as she wants to know she should definitely ask him.
I'm pretty sure things are much better with her now than they were back in May of this year when the tumor in her abdomen was creating so much liquid in her that her legs, feet, thighs, and stomach were so swollen that she looked like she was about to burst. Now all the swelling is gone. It started to go down after her first week with this stronger chemo. The doctor who is with her when she gets the chemo seems very happy with the results and is always in touch with her regular oncologist.
So, should she take the chance and just come out and ask him or is it better not to know? I think she should ask but I don't want her to do something that might cause her to be more depressed.
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Comments: 16
Gabby - We're trying to be positive about the cancer but it's so hard. It made me feel good to hear that your girl friend beat the odds. Hoe did the two of you stay so positive? Thank you for the virtual hugs.
Ashish - Great comment. It's very hard to remain positive although I am a little more positive now that I see that my sister's chemo seems to be helping her. I'm always afraid to even be positive because then I think something will go wrong again. I will definitely try to stop all the morbid thinking.
When my aunt discovered a lump on her breast she was afraid it was breast cancer. She waited months to go to a doctor to find out even though my uncle was begging her to go.
Finally she went and discovered it was brest cancer. After her brese was removed I went to the hospital to visit her along with her four daughters. She told us that not knowing what it was was far worse then knowing that it was cancer. She told us that if we should ever find something we shouldn't be afraid to go to a doctor but to go as soon as possible.
Two of her daughters found lumps. One lived 16 years with breast cancer until she died at the age of 53. The other lived about 5 years with it until she died at the age of 56. My aunt died when she was in her early 50s.
The thing is, if my aunt hadn't told my cousins not to be afraid and to go to a doctor right away I don't think they would have lived as long as they did.
Your sister is sincerely blessed in having you and a wonderful doctor. The doctors' being so happy with her results so far is definitely good news. There's a lot to be said for staying positive. This is a personal decision that only your sister can make and she's fortunate to have you to share in that answer, whatever it may be. God's speed in her overcoming all obstacles!
If she can handle the answer she should ask.
My thoughts are with you both