Paranoia: Vacation To OZ: Part Four

It can be rather boring waiting to board the plane, but we had entertainment, so no one complained. Barbara B starting singing and Wilma threw potatoes on the foor and danced the mash potato and of course there's more. I asked her if she was mashing them for our in-flight meal by chance and Lynn said, 'This sounds delicious' and joined her in this dance. Before I could get an answer, I heard some ladies cry out 'Sweet!' and saw Fred dancing and I swear he had three feet. He stopped and spoke to Norma L and I heard him say. 'Your daughter's surgery was a success, but I may need more if that's okay.' Norma said, 'If you ever need plastic surgery to tone up your thighs...', but before she could finish, Fred said, 'Your words are so poetic, I think I might cry.' Of course their conversation made me wonder what they'd say next, but just then I heard a commotion I'll not soon forget. A woman named Elsie was running around the room trying to get everyone to say, 'Zoom zoom zoom.' She smiled and gave me the finger and then she said. 'This is the Hawaiian friendship salute' and Fred said, 'The finger beckons' and she gave him a bowl of dandelion stew. Just then a man named Tinch said, 'I fear this tour is never getting to OZ.' I started to ask him what he meant, then things got quite bizarre.

I heard a small voice tell me to watch where I stepped. She said, 'My name's Bhawana and Magi invited me on this trip.' She was the smallest person I had ever seen in my life. She said, 'My husband's 6 feet tall and I'm 5 inches, isn't that really nice?' I was trying hard to think of something polite to say, when an announcement was made to get ready to board the plane. Well, we all lined up to board, but just then Magi came to the front of the line wearing a pilot's uniform. He took a swig from his bottle of Guinness and said, 'I wish to vent a few minutes.' He then said, 'Being in the horizontal position is not a sin and I wish the group luck but I just can't do it again.' A few people started shouting, 'How about our trip to OZ?' Magi took another sip of Guinness and said, 'I must go there for a cause.' With that came the shout of hooray and we all boarded the plane. Well, I was last in line and overheard Magi say these lines to Wilma our Flight Attendant who had put on a good luck pendant, 'I'm out of sequence again. I thought it might have been just me suffering the onset of creeping senility, or the want of a horizontal position.' Wilma said, 'Don't worry. A bit of Vegemite and you won't be so timid.' Magi smiled and said, 'Thanks, I need emotional images.' After Magi left, Wilma noticed she had not checked me in. She checked my ticket and wished me a good flight and pushed me in. She acted not to notice I was ghastly white with fright. I stood just out of sight, when I saw a lady named Marge rush into sight and say, 'Congratulations on being a survivor' and Wilma shushed her and gave her a fiver to keep silent. Wilma said, 'I'm a bit anxious to see what happens when we land in OZ.' Marge said, 'You should be and that's because...' But before I could hear the words Marge was about to say, Wilma had boarded and closed the doors to the plane. She saw me and said, "please take your fate', but then realized her words were a mistake and told me to please take my seat. Soon the plane taxied and we were in the air to a destination some call OZ and some call fear because.....