Power Point

There was this old man. He lived alone, best I could tell. He lived way out in the wastelands between San Angelo and Robert Lee, among the cactus, mesquite, and rattlesnakes. He raised sheep, which was no big deal to me. What was a big deal to me was what he had on his land…a landmark in my life called Nipple’s Peak. That was the name of a mesa that had weathered away to just a limestone crown on top of a steep cone of loose dirt and rocks. The old man controlled access to that peak and the arrowheads scattered all around-which were the main reason I would normally go there…to find arrowheads.

I was too shy to want to ask the old man for permission by myself, although I don’t recall anyone ever being turned down. So I had to go with someone so I wouldn’t have to do it by myself. Once he said ok, we would close the cattle gate behind the car and drive off into the middle of nowhere and then get out and start wandering around.

There was one time I came with some other guy from High School…don’t remember who…and we were climbing around higher along the edge of the peak than usual. I got it into my head that I wanted to see if I could climb all the way to the top. He wanted to go somewhere else and for once I decided to go where I wanted to go. I went on toward the top by myself. I don’t know where he went. I couldn’t see anyone. The way to the top was not as easy to find as I had thought, but by cutting back and forth I finally came out on top.

The top of the peak itself didn’t look particularly imposing. It was just some kind of uneven limestone with different cracks and plants and stuff…but the view…I stepped out to the middle and looked out across miles and miles of silent, arid land…old land…the land the Indians saw. I knew I was touching them across time…the others who had come to this same point.

I stood tall, looking out across the land and I spread my arms out wide. In that timeless moment a knowingness settled around me…a knowingness unexpected and engulfing…a knowingness like a ray of sunshine breaking through clouds, a knowledge that deep inside I was ok and that whatever I chose to do I would have the power to achieve. I was responsible for those choices, but I could make of my life what I wanted because the Power of the universe was inside me.

After I had soaked myself in this moment as long as I could, I finally talked myself into climbing back down. I kept my experience to myself as I resumed my normal routines.

But inside, where no one goes, in the vastness of interior space, I have a place, a point of power, that is always there.