IF MY BODY WERE A CAR... If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.
My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it. Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires
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The new supermarket near my house has an automatic water mister to keep produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.
When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.
The veggie department features the sound of a gentle breeze and the smell of fresh buttered corn.
I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
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Comments: 10
I've heard the second one before, but still enjoyable to read them both!
Excellent guess, but Ant Totem (a very potent Teacher) was covered here...
http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977007970
The latest Singer has been guessed correctly, I just won't have it up til after the weekend.
..
U wishing you laughter