I love my middle sister dearly, but I have to say that when the time came for her to get married, I wished she had simply eloped.
I will fully admit that I didn't deal well with my sister, the difficult bride. She was, in my opinion, being whiny and unreasonable. I responded to this by being similarly unreasonable--not the best way to handle the situation. As a result, the day before the wedding, I was unceremoniously informed that I was no longer the maid of honor, because I was being "mean." This was related in large part to the fact that one of the other bridesmaids overheard me complaining about my whiny sister. Yeah, I probably should have kept my mouth shut.
The best ways I have found to keep the peace with a difficult bride are as follows:
- Keep your temper in check. Practice counting silently to ten when the difficult asks something unreasonable of you, rather than responding with your instant reaction.
- Put yourself in her shoes. If you have ever been through the stress of your own wedding, you will be able to do this a little more easily. But even if you have never been married, or had a stress-free wedding, you can try to imagine the position in which she finds herself. She wants everything to be perfect for everyone involved, and there are few brides who can make everything perfect on their own. Her "demands" may simply be requests for help.
- Remember that this is her big day. Despite the divorce rate in the United States, there are plenty of brides for whom their wedding day is a once in a lifetime event. She will want her day to be memorable. If her requests are not too insane, do what you can to acquiese. She will certainly appreciate it.
Even though a difficult bride can be a nightmare for bridesmaids to deal with, remember that she chose you to be a part of her wedding. She must like you, at least a little bit, even if not all of her actions reflect that fact.