by William Dotani
Member since:
October 27, 2006

Barefoot Little Man

October 01, 2007 04:47 AM EDT (Updated: October 01, 2007 05:09 AM EDT)
views: 108 | comments: 37

 

 

Little man, barefoot boy with cheeks of tan
Looking through an hourglass made for you
Where dreams seeking promises start to brew
As you raft mighty river speaking truth

Pencil in each amen where dewdrops fall
And that of the clarion call rings bare
As you try to grip the pieces that shift
In the strong current of your filtered care

Some things seem natural in every way
As daily joust of doubts drift side by side
Like an eternal spring that says suppose
The flame may falter but must still abide

As the sinews tighten into the frame
And experience knows past like refrain
Where each beg your pardon gives off a clue
Of desire so bold in thought you knew

Of passages from the hourglass sand
Hold out your hand and grasp hold out your hand
As the barefoot boy with cheeks of tan laughs
At his wayward fantasies in the rain

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Comments: 37

Donna Hammett-Tooker Oct 1, 2007, 4:53am EDT
Sometimes the pounding rain or the smell of fresh rain evokes the most questioning of our day - I wonder if the primitive in us reacts to the pouring of water from the sky because we have shut ourselves off from it? Thanks for an inner journey, William.
Svetlana Goryacheva Oct 1, 2007, 5:16am EDT
Just loved it! ;-)

Blessings & best wishes, now and always - S.
Bill, the sand from the hourglass falls slowly into the fast flowing river of time when one is young and when one can indeed laugh at wayward fantasies in the rain. But then with life's experiences, indeed the sinews tighten into the frame. Though it need not be so. I enjoyed this journey down the river.
John Doyle Oct 1, 2007, 7:25am EDT
Excellent poem Bill. It has a classic feel to it. Don't ask me why> I like it very much
Pamela L. Oct 1, 2007, 8:27am EDT
This was a pleasure. I am not an avid poetry reader, yet this was a pleasure. John's comment is appropriate. This work does recognize classical standards. I appreciated your use of rhyme, something omitted in almot all of today's poet's best efforts. And I enjoyed your whimsy in the placement of your rhymes.
All in all, this was a pleasure.
Donald M. Oct 1, 2007, 8:50am EDT
My wayward fantasies are being washed by the rain. Good morning to you.
Heather W. Oct 1, 2007, 9:17am EDT
Wonderful poem.
Barbra L. Oct 1, 2007, 10:20am EDT
William: I loved reading this!!!

The words clarion and joust give this a medieval tone that chimed with musicality and mental combativeness needed to propel us through the travels of life; yet, for me, you've skillfully reverted time, and taken the little man backwards instead of forward through his fantasies. How clever!
Gerry Wass Oct 1, 2007, 10:59am EDT
The classic feel is real and may come because it evokes the images of Huck Finn buried within our cultural consciousness. Even though I'm not devoting the time to this that careful reading requires, I can see it's depth and beauty on first reading.
Paula Love Oct 1, 2007, 12:24pm EDT
very nice little poem William! And I did imagine you slipping on the banana peel, lol! You crack me up!
Elsie Duggan Oct 1, 2007, 12:41pm EDT
I love this William, it is a wonderful poem once again, and you deserve all the comments above and more. Keep going and writing more of things like this.
Apryl Just Apryl Oct 1, 2007, 1:57pm EDT
William, you've done it again. A beautiful piece that weighs on the souls of those who read it. I love the imagery in this and the soulful wisdom. Ten from me.
Sheila Deeth Oct 1, 2007, 2:24pm EDT
The child's sand is the adult's mud unless we remember the innocence of the barefoot boy. Loved this.
William Dotani Oct 1, 2007, 2:32pm EDT
Gerry: You nailed it.
Barbra: I'm glad you can see my intent. I just wanted to circle back and give a dreamlike feeling.
Magi: The river is of course the Mississippi in this poem.
William Dotani Oct 1, 2007, 2:38pm EDT
I want to thank Elsie who inadvertently gave me the first line of this poem.
I had just finished reading an essay comparing Huckleberry Finn and The Catcher In The Rye and I guess the subtext was lodged somwhere in my brain in composing this.
Minakshi w. Oct 1, 2007, 3:06pm EDT
William, I am late here...
A poem through childhood rain ..seems like a fantasy revisited and accepted by the now grown up man. The child in us remains hidden sometimes but is always within us.
Good journey through your words, William!
Tom C. Oct 1, 2007, 3:17pm EDT
William - This seems to tell of the experiential wisdom that comes to those that have the integrity to do the right things, despite how natural it might seem not to, or what doubts may arise. A simple boy navigating dreams to reach his potential as a man.
Wilma M. Oct 1, 2007, 3:19pm EDT
I read this thinking of the barefoot boy in my living room right now. I hope he has many "wayward fantasies" to follow in his lifetime.
Bhawana 'Gather Proud Mom' Oct 1, 2007, 4:24pm EDT
Where dreams seeking promises start to brew


wow William ..you left me thinking ...I will find your articles more written about your inner perspectives..


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Bonnie S. Oct 1, 2007, 5:54pm EDT
Willaim, this was another great poem. I never like poems before or read them until I found Elsie and you : ) You both write so nice.
Fred Hose Oct 1, 2007, 5:54pm EDT
Beautiful poem Bill.
About growing up. As the sinews tighten into the frame.
I love the way he learns. As daily joust of doubt rides side by side he learns and he developes.
Yes Bill...it's classic in style. In fact it is a classic poem. Has to be read again and again.
Corinna Parr Oct 1, 2007, 8:03pm EDT
I read this to my son. I don't think he appreciated it as much as I did, being only three, and he gave me an odd look for sniffling and smiling at the same time. I agree, it does have a very classic "feel" to it. Thank you, William.
Marge H. Oct 1, 2007, 8:07pm EDT
I was also reminded of Huck Finn when I read this.

Another excellent work from you.
Allison N. Oct 1, 2007, 8:09pm EDT
Lovely. I could smell and hear the rain -- and it was peaceful, but full of promise. I, too, thought that it had a classic feel.



Please come comment on and rate my second chapter, Enchanting the Earl - Chapter 2
Pepsie J. Oct 1, 2007, 9:32pm EDT
Time flies...

Nicely put

Thanks
t b. Oct 2, 2007, 12:22am EDT
I felt this deeply William.

We are honest are we not? My mind kept trying to filter out the rhymes and search for your truth.

But I did so enjoy this. I will take the tone of it with me tonight.
Heidi M. Oct 2, 2007, 12:44am EDT
How very cool! loved this.
Barbara B. Oct 2, 2007, 7:24pm EDT
William I really loved this poem, I read it over and over,
each time I read this poem I got a different meaning!!
And if I were to write all this down it would take me all
night! You my dear friend, are a 'Classic Man' who never
ceases to amaze this ole gal!! Thank you
Huggers 4U
Just Me
Barbie
Sheila Deeth Oct 2, 2007, 7:53pm EDT
Interesting. I came back to read this after Fallow Fields and noticed the different child images, as hope and as pain... Inspiring all sorts of philosphical thoughts about whether one can exist without the danger of the other, and does avoidance of pain lead to cynicism and regret... Ah well, philosophy was never my strongest point. I should stick to feeding ants to dogs.
lynn a. Oct 3, 2007, 7:30pm EDT
I still don't want to give up my dreams and my hopes. And I won't. But some of them surely do get battered.
lynn a. Oct 3, 2007, 7:31pm EDT
Beautiful poem. I bet I read this a half dozen times to finally decide what I think. Except that even now I know it is beautiful and true.
William Dotani Oct 3, 2007, 10:32pm EDT
Everyone has the right to dream and the right to try to find their dream.
Rhoda S. Oct 4, 2007, 1:34am EDT
nice job!
Monika V. Oct 4, 2007, 12:14pm EDT
Wonderful poem...just loved this.
please see my latest video 'gather spray'
http://www.gather.com/viewVideo.jsp?id=11821949021853754#comments
Bundy P Oct 5, 2007, 9:11am EDT
I thought of an Indian boy, at first.
wiaka's just ... curious Oct 17, 2007, 8:43pm EDT
This gives off an air of mischeivous and childish behaviors and not knowing what lays ahead is what life offers us down each path we take, however we can look at it as an adventure.

Blessings

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