My only brother's oldest daughter, Samantha, was killed yesterday in a car accident. Her younger sister, Ashley, was also in the car, but survived. There were two boys in the car, but I don't know anything about their condition besides that they lived. Ashley was thrown from the car and suffered a bad concussion, but she's expected to be released today or tomorrow.
Sam had massive head trauma. No one was wearing their seatbelt. I think she might be alive if she had been wearing it. Her heart stopped at the scene, but the paramedics got her going again. As a result of the head trauma, she had massive swelling and severe brain damage. She was an organ donor, so they only kept her alive long enough to take the organs. I hope they offer someone a chance at life.
Sammie was only 20 years old and graduated from high school. Ashley is a Junior or Sophomore in high school. Sammie's boyfriend was driving. I feel for him and his family--that's a heavy load to carry the rest of your life.
The accident happened when someone in the left lane was turning and the person behind him got impatient and veered into the right lane where the kids were. The driver of the car Sam was riding in swerved to miss that car and he hit a pole and a wall. Basically, the car was wedged between the pole and the wall.
I can't figure out where Ashley could have exited the car. Maybe I'll find out more later today or tomorrow.
I still can't believe it. It feels like a dream and I'll call my brother and none of this will have happened. I feel the worst for my brother. He lives alone, is divorced and my parents are dead. I'm going to go be with him tomorrow (he didn't want me today).
I just had to call WPXI News because there was a group of reporters headed for his house. I told them he was in no way interested in talking to the media. Some people might feel better talking about their loved one (they wanted him to talk about what kind of person she was) but that's expecting a DAMN lot of a father the day after his little girl has been killed.
I enjoy learning about the faces behind the names as much as anyone, but the day after they've died is not the time to do something like that!
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Comments: 24
knows, without a belt on????
It was *awful* at the funeral home. Sammie looked like one of those shrunken heads the head hunters took. Her face was GRAY. Surely the funeral home could have covered that! It didn't look anything like her.
My brother is a mess. He blames the kid who was driving. I need to talk to him and remind him that he almost killed his best friend when he was a teenager in a car crash. He won't accept help and he refuses to eat. He looks like he is going to explode some time real soon. I'm worried about him.
If you haven't had much experience with this, I understand your dismay. If you have had experience with this and Sam looked worse than most, then it's probably a result of all of the injuries she received, the moritician trying to cover those as best they could (using more make up). It's really quite difficult and most morticians, especially in the case of a young woman, do their very best.
If Sam did receive such severe injuries, that's probably why her teenage friend couldn't bring himself to go to her. That sight would be shocking for anyone, especially so a young person.
I know it's easy for someone else to say, but this really isn't about blame. All that does is enrage us further. What what your brother needs is positive support. Sam is gone. No amount of grieving or remorse or blame will bring her back. Your brother needs to recognize that Sam chose to get into the car, it was her decision. It was a very tragic decision, but no teenage driver/passenger is "to blame." If I were to die from every foolish decision I made as a teenager, I would've died many times over.
I hope your brother can bring this into a healthier perspective. It is undoubtedly hard if not impossible, I know. I just don't want any of you living out of resentment. That is not healthy. Sam IS in a peaceful and beautiful place now. And I've no doubt her Guardian Angel is looking down on her fahter and his family, wanting to comfort all of you.
Remember Sam as you last knew her to be. The wonderful young and vibrant person she was. Encourage your brother to do the same. That IS what Sam would want; and that IS what your brother needs. I imagine there's a lot of guilt going around right now. Keep Sam as the center of your thoughts, what she'd want, how she'd do things, what she'd say to this or that ... keep her living in your spirits. How is Ashley?
I'm sure it was from the injuries, and I'm sure the mortician tried, but I think maybe he or she just isn't so good at really bad injuries. Some pancake makeup would have gone a LONG way towards making her look more human. Perhaps because the family didn't have much money, maybe they gave her the minimum, I dunno. I've seen Halloween faces look more realistic than she did!
The rest of what the funeral home did was great. They were a bit overwhelmed with the number of people, but they tried very hard. The caterer for the lunch was fantastic (but more kids came than they expected, and they ran out of drinks). But how was he to know there would be so many teens? They eat double what an adult eats anyway!
I'm wrung out, depressed, exhausted, and not looking forward to going back to work and trying to be coherent. I haven't been able to put a sentence together without stuttering all day! I keep using the wrong words, I trip over my tongue, I talk and talk and talk around what I want to say and I can't zero in on it ... it's very disturbing.
I'm staying home tomorrow ... my house is in severe disorder and I just can't think straight. I've found it's better to stay home when you can't do your job well because if you're there, it's assumed you're ready to work and do it right. I don't have any co-workers in my area. I'm quite isolated where I am. There are people in other rooms, but I don't see them much. I just see the three professors whose offices are internal to mine. I'll get more "face time" with other people at home.