17 is enough? Part 2

This is a continuation of my article about the duggar family. In the close of my last article, I stated why I thought that the motivation behind having so many children was more psychological in nature: because the Duggars blamed themselves for a tragic miscarriage that was not their fault, I think both their subconscious minds got a very definate message from that: to do things based on your own needs is selfish, bad things happen when you do; and ( by extent) having a sense of self is a bad thing. I think this is evidenced in some of the ways that their children are being brought up, and I do not mean that disrespectfully in any way; it seems that the Duggars are loving and caring parents.

 The reasons that I think the children are being brought up to not have a sense of self follows: First, there is the fact that all of the kids names begin with the letter "J", I think that takes away a part of personal identity right there, if all of your brother and sister's names have to begin with the same letter as yours. There is also the part about the daily J-O-Y lessons ( jesus first, others second, yourself last) How much of a sense of self and personal identity can someone have if they're taught from the time that they are children to put themselves last? There is also the fact of their daily routine, the younger children all have a "buddy" that helps them to get washed, dressed, ect. They are also all homeschooled, and the older children also help the younger ones with their lessons; in addition to receiving lessons from mom. Then there are the various tidy up times during the day. How much time can anyone have for themselves in this kind of situation? children or adults? How much time do the kids really get  to just be kids? There is also the most obvious: getting lost in the crowd with a family this size, how much individual attention can each parent give to each child? Lastly, there is the fact that even though they have a 7,000 SQ. FT. house, they only have 3 bedrooms ( albeit large ones of course) all the girls share a room, all the boys; then mom and dad have their own room. Seems like there is little or no oppurtunity for even privacy. I can't imagine sharing a room ( even a very large one) with that many siblings, I was glad when we moved to a larger house when I was younger; so I had my own room and didn't have to share with my sister anymore.

 I can't help but wonder what kind of effect this type of upbringing would have on someone, even though they come from a very loving family and are not abused or deprived in any way. If they grow up feeling lost in the crowd, are not taught to have a sense of self or their own needs and wants; how will they get along in society when they are adults? Seems like it would be difficult for them to blend in, and do things that the rest of us take for granted sometimes; such as functioning at a job, dating, ect. It seems that if you don't have a sense of self or personal identity, you would have difficulty with decision making and critical thinking. Are these children being prepared for a society that will probably be more advanced than we can even imagine now? or are they being set up to be left behind? just some things I'd like to see more people ponder in regards to discussions on this family.