17 is enough?

I couldn't resist writing my own thoughts about this family I ran across on the internet some weeks back, the Duggar family. For those of you who have never heard of them, the duggars are a family from Arkansaws with 17 children. Naturally, I got to thinking why would a woman want to have 17 children, ( all conceived without any fertility drugs) seems like it would be VERY stressful on not only the body, but the mind as well. I know some people wonder why anyone should care how many children someone has, as long as they can afford it; and the children are not abused, neglected, or deprived in any way. In my opinion, I think people care because it is considered excessive in our society, at least in this day and age; and you can't ( or at least I can't) help but wonder about the motivations behind it and the effect on the children coming from such a huge family.

 I can't help but wonder whether the motivation behind having so many children ( besides wanting a large family obviously) is more psychological in nature. According to the family's website, when they first married, they wanted to put off having children for a while and used birth control pills; they didn't feel ready for them yet. When they were ready for children, Michelle Duggar went off birth control and they conceived their first child sometime after that; which tragically ended in a misscarriage. They saw a doctor about it and learned that sometimes women who are on birth control pills can miscarry when they go off them. Where the psychological part comes in in my opinion is here:  They said that they were grieved ( as anyone naturally would be) because they were pro life and their selfish actions had taken the life of their child. After that, they prayed to god and asked his forgivness, and asked him to bless them with as many children as he saw fit.

They blamed themselves for a tragic event that wasn't their fault, and in my opinion; both their subconscious minds got a very clear message from that: To do things based on your own needs is selfish, bad things happen when you do; therefore ( by extent) having a sense of self is a bad thing. since this article is becoming longer than I thought it would, I will expand on these thoughts in a second part.