Kids are home with the baby sitter. Older one calls me.
"Dad, why's there a dead lizard in your toilet?"
"I don't know. What are you doing in my bathroom, anyway?"
"I was going to go pee."
"What's wrong with your bathroom?" (figuring that her sister or the baby sitter was using it)
"Mom hasn't put the new toilet paper up yet." (She does change the toilet paper, but she was giving my wife a hard time last night because my wife finished the roll and didn't replace it.)
"Welllllll, tough choice, isn't it?"
"I know. I'll change the toilet paper, go, and then un-change it."
"Love you, see you later."
Turns out the lizard floated in the toilet bowl for several hours 'til I got home and fished it out. It was very much alive. Show and tell, then back into the wild. (BTW, does anyone know if lizards can come up from sewer pipes?)