Just Me

I just spent well over an hour writing comments to articles to Gather members. Some I know as close friends. Some may become close friends in time. Some of my close friends on Gather are already gifted writers and some are just discovering their writing talents and seem amazed by this. I find this personal discovery to be more beautiful than mere words can describe. I personally believe everyone has unique talents, but what keeps them from developing these talents is a lack of confidence. For a few it's a lack of effort. You can't force a person to be a good writer. They must have that inner zeal to overcome personal doubts and let their voice and pen become one. When I first joined Gather, I was often overly critical, which came from my many years of teaching literature and composition. I helped some people blossom and grow, but I also made some people angry and I deeply regret causing anyone to feel angry by my remarks and beg their forgiveness.

I soon found out I wasn't such a hotshot poet. I was a good song writer, but song lyrics and poetry are quite a different animal. Probably, out of the first ten poems I published on Gather, one was decent and the other nine pure garbage. I was really frustrated. I had wanted to make a big splash, but instead showed I was a novice at best. To put it mildly, I was extremely frustrated. I thought about quitting Gather and going to another site for poetry, but realized two things: My poetry would probably be ignored or belittled and there were many excellent poets I could learn from on Gather. I had well meaning people give me advice. Some of it very helpful and some I could not accept for the style I wished to write. I did not ignore any advice, but some must have thought I did, since they no longer comment on my poems. That's okay. I actually respect their stick to their guns prejudice.

 I know my strengths and weaknesses. Please never ask me a math question unless I have my shoes and socks off. There are five things I'm good at. I'm a good husband and I'm a good dad. I am very good on guitar and I'm good at growing vegetables and flowers. Finally, I'm very good at research. I learned the Sir Francis Bacon scientific research method in college and have found it useful in finding out anything I really want to know. I'm not the type of person who gives up easily. I really want to write good poetry, but I realize I must do some study and research. I carefully examined what I felt were really good poems by other Gather members. I read poems by Dylan Thomas, Robert Frost, EE Cummings, Emily Dickenson. William Butler Yeats and others. I studied their style and turn of phrase. I had no desire to borrow or copy. I want my poetry to be uniquely me with my own voice. All of this study is helping me finally give my readers something decent to read. No, it isn't perfect, but it is passable and I hope enjoyable.

One of my friends once said to me, 'You're too honest. I'm afraid to tell you anything.' He was cheating on his wife and knew I would not lie for him. It's really hard for me not to be honest. It's not that I don't lie, it's that I find reasons where I don't have to lie. I don't want to lie. I feel bad when I lie. When I make a serious comment, I'm telling you what I really think and I'm not fudging anything. I don't play mind games in my comments or in my real life. I'm a straight shooter. I only lie when I'm joking. I have had people tell me I have no tact. I agree. I don't. I now fully understand I can hurt someone with my comments. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone. No matter who you are, I value your uniqueness and hope and pray I can be a positive in your life. If I say anthing critical, it is out of love to help you and nothing else. If you disagree with me, I accept this. I am just a human with many faults. What I say may not apply to you, or even be good for you. You control acceptance or rejection, but please know no harm was intended or meant, I needed to tell my feelings and my story. I hope you will graciously accept this.