Help! My daughter won't......

I wish I had some suggestions! We're trying to potty train my youngest son and it's no fun.

Stop buying diapers. You are wasting money on them. If she has "big girl panties" she probably won't go in them. If she does, let her know that the other kids will smell her poopie and make fun of her at school.

That sounds like it sucks! I wish I had some advice. I would just make her have underwear & make a mess in them once or twice.

I think she is too old for diapers or pull-ups. I agree with Michelle. When she does it in big girls panties she won't like it and if it happens at school the other kids would not like it. I think working on it at home is important and to reenforce that she wouldn't want that to happen away from home.

I agree with Michelle. Stop buying diapers.
She'll use the toilet after a few accidents I'll bet.

i told her that there would be no more diapers during the day. the problem is that she will hold it until she is bloated, uncomfortable, cranky, etc. she won't totally go in her panties (she only wears diapers at night). she held it for almost 4 days! i can't even hold it for 4 hours! that is how stubborn she is!

the accidents (which are only a tiny bit), don't seem to bother her. she doesn't like to do things that are not her idea. we had some problems with #1 too but i think that is harder to do.

They don't have potties at school?

my friend is having this problem with her kid also. She made a sticker chart to go in the bathroom across from the potty seat. Each time the child goes he gets a sticker. He only gets a super special sticker for doing number two, and he also gets a piece of his favorite candy. He still isn't always going in number two so they're going to try sitting him on the real potty for it. He also holds it in. One thing that worked for a couple days for them was one time he went poopy in his big boy pants, and the dad didn't know and started giving him 'spankings' (they play around, roughhouse and the 'spankings' also come with lots of tickles) and then it was all smashed on the kids butt and he wasn't allowed to sit on the furniture or anything for like 15 min until his brother was out of the bath, then the kid got to take a bath. But I guess for like three days after that happened the kid went number two on his potty chair. I guess you can try that, idk. I'm pregnant with my first child, so I don't really know anything about potty training except what my friends tell me.

Well, I think you hit on something really important, Amy, when you said that she doesn't like to do anything that isn't her idea. The trick here is to make pooping on the potty her idea.

First thing is to try to figure out what some of her objections are. Does she like the privacy of being able to poop without anyone staring at her? If so, offer to set her up on the potty, give her a book, and leave her alone until she's done. Conversely, does she get bored sitting there until she's ready? Offer to tell her special stories while she's going or buy special books that she only gets to read when she's trying to poop. At four years old, not only is she old enough to be pooping on the potty, but she's old enough to tell you why she doesn't want to. Talk to her, show her that you respect whatever it is behind her reason not to go, and work with her to find a solution.

The other - and really important thing - is...you must make as minimal a deal out of the pooping on the potty as you possibly can. It is not, and cannot, be about what YOU want her to do or how much you want her to do it. The first way to make it more about her is to treat successes as something positive, but expected - and to make failures unfortunate, but minor events.

I wish you luck. In any event, take heart - your little girl won't be going to the prom in diapers.

Good luck. As I had all my kids trained by time they were two or before. I gave them a dum dum sucker every time they went on the potty. That was the only time they got them. It worked. Even for my special needs daughter.

This may be a little extreme, but when I was little, my mom would pick a day and make my younger brother and sister go a whole day without pants on. None, not even a diaper or panties. That was all it took for them. They didn't want to go on the floor so they figured out that they needed to use the potty, and that was it. There were no more accidents after that.

I used the sticker or $ store toy approach

Our grandson is 4 and just learned to do his pooping in the potty. He would pee in it before but not poop in it. He learned just in time to start his first year of Head Start, which is an all day school day. Some of our kids were real late to train but they did eventually get trained.

My son will be five in November and he doesn't like doing it either. But he had a problem a good part of his life with going #2 and even needed a specialist at one time. (He tore himself straining to go and nearly needed surgery) So, for him we understand that this time in his life when he would refuse to go because he was afraid it'd hurt could be part of his issue.

However, this weekend I introduced a potty chart to him. He was excited and told me ONE pee NO POOP! well he sat on there did his thing and got up and gave himself a sparkly star. Then he did it again and again and then he started to poop. Not accidentally he was trying hard to go. He went again and again. The first time ever that he tried to go poop on the potty.

Sometimes toy rewards aren't enough, as it seemed to be with Gideon. The elation of him filling his Dora chart was enough. After he filled it he asked to take it in his room where he promptly hung it on his wall. Now he's not using the potty again (he goes in phases) but he can do it.. and he has done it. It's just a matter of time now I think.

So, if you haven't already try potty charts in addition to the toy rewards. You might be surprised by the results. Good luck!

Yikes!!! No idea....good luck though!

i have no idea, but good luck

I know this doesn't really help, but a friend of mine had a little boy that would only poop in the bathtub. Be grateful thats not your situation. :)

How old? I have a niece that didn't come around until after her first day of kindergarten (when no one was there to change her).

Amy ~ I haven't read all of the responses so I hope I'm not repeating someone else. I've heard that children perceive this as a form of control over themselves. In some cases, I understand this can represent a control over their lives that's a result of molestation?

Four is a bit old but every child is different and it's not November yet, so she is still 3. Have you spoken to her doctor? This may be out of the loop today, but I vividly recall my mother using some kind of insert to encourage my bowels to move as she sat me on the potty chair (argh!). I would take your daughter to the doctor and seek some professional opinion, if only for your own piece of mind. I hope everything works itself out very soon (no pun inteded : ).

thanks everyone! i don't want to give in and i have tried a lot of what has been suggested. i don't want to buy diapers or change diapers anymore, but i don't want her to hold it for days at a time either. oh well, i will see how things go and i will keep you updated!

I agree , she should be able to tell you why she is afraid/ scared- My kids were 1 1/2 when we started to potty train ( just introducing the idea) & before they were 2 they were potty trained - they were pretty easy- even though it didn't seem that way at the time

I don't know why potty training is so hard, but man it's rough.
My daughter has went number 2 in the potty once. If I find her trying to poop I'll carry her to the toilet and she'll suck that stuff right back up in her. She'll hold it for days. I talked to her pediatrician and she said "don't push it and don't worry about it" Bah! I have to worry about it I'm her mom :P