OK, I need to vent. I don't really vent a lot on Gather but I need to now.
Yesterday my middle son saw the backpack of a classmate open as they were walking to the gate to leave home. He for some reason decided to grab it and hold on to it. This caused the little girl's papers to fall onto the ground. The little girls mother saw this happen and got very upset. I was talking to my other son's teacher and didn't see this happen. The other Mom came up to me and told me, that it just happened while I was standing right there and talking to the teacher. I told her that I would talk to my son about it. She goes on again about it so I tell her again, that I will talk to my son about it. We all get in the car and leave. I talk to my son about it at home. I have him write a nice I'm sorry letter. He draws a picture of him and the girl at the bottom of the letter.
This little girl also goes to Awana (church thing for kids once a week) so I have my son take the letter with him and keep it in his pocket because they're in the same class. After I take my kids to their classes I look for the Mom. I see her in the lobby and go to talk to her. I tell her that I talked to my son, that he wrote her daughter a I'm sorry note and that I myself am sorry. She then tells me that my son did something to her daughter last week. I ask if this happened in the classroom (it supposedly happened on the school yard) and then I ask if the little girl told anyone about it (she supposedly told the person who watches the kid on the school yard). I tell her no one told me about it and that I can't punish my son for something that happened last week. I'm as nice as can be. I tell her my name and ask her name. When I pick my son up he tells me that the little girl looked at the letter but refused to take it because her Mom told her that she can never take notes from anyone. Now I can understand not taking a note from a stranger but not taking a I'm sorry letter that both the Mom and the little girl knew about? Personally I think that's rude.
Anyway, after school today I made it a point to talk to my son's teacher. I wanted to ask how my son was doing in class and if he was having trouble with any other students. Apparently he is doing fine but he sometimes gets carried away when playing at recess. So I tell her what happened and the teacher tells me that the other mother already came and talked to her.
This is where I have a problem. I talked to the other mother twice. I had my son say he was sorry and write a note. I do not think what he did was that bad. If I had seen him do it, I would have talked to him so I'm not saying OK but no one was hurt, I saw the little girl after it happened and she did not look upset at all. He grabbed her backpack and papers fell, that's it. So anyway, I did all that I could as a parent. This happened after class was over. What did this other Mom have to gain by telling the teacher? It's not the point that she told the teacher, it's that I already thought I had taken care of it. It implies to me that she wanted my son to be further punished.
I did find out from the teacher that this little girl just went into first grade. Apparently she was to smart for Kindergarten so they switched her to 1st grade. The teacher said maybe the little girl wasn't used to being around other kids or whatnot. The teacher said she's had to get onto this little girl before so she does not think it's just my son. The teacher said if my son did something she thought was really bad she'd contact me. So I am really glad I talked to the teacher but well... I am just darn irked with this other Mother. I try to put myself in her shoes but I wouldn't have gone to the teacher if the other parent had really tried to make an effort. I don't know what else I could have done.
I am starting to volunteer in the class next week for one hour every week so I'll be able to observe the little girl too. I just don't know how i"m going to be polite to the mother when I run into her, which we will, several times a week. I'm usually always the polite sort but I'm just upset. I hope no other problems occur with this woman. I was unsure of this but I told my son that it's OK to talk to this little girl but maybe he should play with some other friends at recess.
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Comments: 46
I hope it did not hurt your sons feelings to bad cause I am feeling like it probably made him feel pretty bad..
I think you should be as nice as you can to that mother from now on! Dont stoop to her level! Give your son a high five for me.. thats all ;)
Ouch. It sounds like your son truly didn't do anything bad, as grabbing a backpack at that age is pretty normal. I don't know about that other mom, but know that you handled it all correctly and if anyone's got problems, it's the other mom, not you.
Try not (and I know this is a lot easier to say to you than to do it myself as I'd be upset too), but again, try not to let her ignorance get to you. It sounds like she's possibly very overprotective of her child and that will ultimately hurt her little girl, badly as she won't have friends or know how to make them.
Hang in there.
Marilyn
In a hundred years none of it will matter anyhow. :O/
But isn't it good to have a place to come and vent it all out?
If you see my widgets it means you got a "10" :O)
Just turn the other cheek as was said long ago.
Good luck with the volunteering, that sounds like fun and your son will enjoy seeing you there.
Good vent!
marty
Let it go ..
I would personally let the proble of worry about this woman's actions and her child. Don't let what others say bother you.
It is the teacher's resoponsibility to communicate to you about your son's actions, and it sounds as if she isn't doing this if other parents have complained about your son.
I would observe you childs actions on the playground. Maybe his is overactive and needs more directions on how to chanel this energy in better ways. I am sure, form what you have told us, he is not a bully, but he acts without thinking first, and his actions upset the other children.
After observing your son, I would sit down with him and discuss his feelings about school, his classmates and anything else he wants to talk about, as a friend and not as a parent.
If you think he might need special instructions on how to deal with his behavior, talk to the teacher and the school's sepcial education counselor or a development specialist. This is not a knock on you son, but rather a differnt perspective on his actions.
I don't agree with the girls mother, she sounds like a Queen B. But let her actions go and focus on your son's needs first
Since the little girl skipped a grade, neither one of them learned how school can be. I do not think my son is an angel, he does things that are wrong. But what kid doesn't? He he had hurt the little girl or if she was upset by what he did, it'd be different. I guess I don't like it when anyone implies that my son is a monster. Sometimes my kids are little monsters but I'm the only one that can say so! :)
When I said I'd watch the little girl, I didn't mean I'd be mean to her or anything. Just more like observe her, as I will observe my son and the rest of the children.
move on. You have done all you can and if you do see
this person just try to be nice to her and it just might be
you can win her over that way.
Sure, you had to pick up the papers Big deal. If the girl was not upset why didn't this just stop there? Sounds like she has something against your son or some agenda.
You did all you could and then some. Some people are just unaccepting of that fact. Sorry that you had to deal with that garbage.