Are You Sure It's a SACRIFICE?

"For all this I took to heart, exploring and examining it all, how the righteous (the upright, in right standing with God) and the wise and their works are in the hands of God. Whether it is to be love or hatred no man knows; all that is before them.

All things come alike to all. There is one event to the righteous and to the wicked, to the good and to the clean and to the unclean; to him who sacrifices and to him who does not sacrifice. As is the good man, so is the sinner; and he who swears is as he who fears and shuns an oath."---Ecclesiastes 9:1-2 (AMP)

"And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices."---Mark 12:33(NKJV)

"The mice which helplessly find themselves between the cats' teeth acquire no merit from their enforced sacrifice."---Mahatma Gandhi

Sacrifice.  This is a word that has been coming up in my world A LOT this week.  And, while I have found myself asking God "What gives?" when it comes to the amount that I have personally been doing, it wasn't until I received a random email ("What does sacrifice mean?") that I really decided to invest some interest into the word so that I, and the person who sent the question, could both have some peace of mind.

However, as I was in prayer today, I found myself surprised by what kind of sacrificing God wanted me to publicly address.  It's not the sacrifice of sins like Christ made for us all, nor is it the sacrifice of time that thousands of people made today in Louisiana.  No, it was actually the kind that people mistake for being a sacrifice, when actually it's something entirely different.

Earlier this afternoon, I read a story on Diddy's ex, Kim Porter about why she finally brought her 12-year, on again/off again, non-marital relationship (that brought forth three children) to an end after so publicly expressing her love and commitment to him in the same magazine just nine months before.  I'll let you purchase Essence if you've just got to know the low down, but it was what she said about sacrifice that confirmed just what God was saying to me:

"If you speak to Porter about it now, the first thing she'll tell you is that the secret was not the main reason she left the relationship this past July.  There were a lot of issues: She wasn't happy; she was tired of putting her needs on the back burner; it was time for Kim to take care of Kim.  ‘As Black women we sacrifice, she insists.  ‘We stand by our man, through thick and thin, through whatever.  But if you feel like ‘Maybe I am getting the short end of the stick', that's when change has to take place.'"---Essence Magazine, October 2007 Issue, pg. 235

After reading this, I went back to reread the definition of "sacrifice" that, aside from God's leading, prompted the point that I am about to make:

Sacrifice: the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.

Now, I don't know what Kim's personal relationship with God is like.  I do know that in past interviews, she references him freely and often, but this message isn't for or really even about Kim.  This is for those of us who claim to be followers of Christ.  The Bible says in John 14:15 that if we love him, we will keep his commandments.  The Bible also says that fornicators and adulterers (just to name a couple of things) God will judge (Hebrews 13:4).  In Kim's case, she has stated that she lived with Diddy, they were not married and yet they had three children, which means that (duh) they were having sex. 

Now, where I am going with this is not where you may initially think.

I Corinthians 3:19 states that the wisdom of the world is foolishness to God.  In Kim's mind, what she was doing to make her relationship work was "sacrifice"---surrendering something prized (her pride, her feelings, her needs, her wants) for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim---but did God see it that way?  Because I Samuel 15:22 tells us that obedience is better than sacrifice and because she chose to be in a relationship applying her rules and not God's, was she actually making a sacrifice or just receiving the consequences of her choices?

I don't know about you, but as it relates to my own world/relationships/issues/character, this hit me like a ton of bricks!  Do you know how many times I've laid up with a man knowing he was using me as I chalked it up to a "sacrifice"?  Do you know how many times I've not tithed and had to go into my "emergency fund" when my car broke down or the rent was due all the while calling it a "sacrifice"?  Do you know how many jobs I have taken knowing good and well that God told me not to work there while I was telling everyone that I was doing it because it was a "sacrifice"?  Do you know how many "friendships" I have tolerated that was not healthy for me, but I stayed believing that it was a "sacrifice"?  Do you know how many times I've self-victimized thinking that it was a necessary "sacrifice"?  Yes, yes, yes.  This brings a whole new meaning to "not casting your pearls before swine" (Matthew 7:6), doesn't it?

Proverbs 15:8 (NKJV) clearly tells us:

"The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord, but the prayer of the upright is His delight."

Family, some of us are suffering at this very minute believing that it's because we are sacrificing, when again, the truth (John 8:32) of the matter is that we are simply reaping what we have sown from the seeds of our rebellion and disobedience (Galatians 6:7-8).  All of us know the story of Cain and Abel, but how many of us are willing to admit that more times than not, it's the "Cain-not-Abel offerings" that we offer up to our Lord?

"Adam slept with Eve his wife. She conceived and had Cain. She said, ‘I've gotten a man, with God's help!'

Then she had another baby, Abel. Abel was a herdsman and Cain a farmer. Time passed. Cain brought an offering to God from the produce of his farm. Abel also brought an offering, but from the firstborn animals of his herd, choice cuts of meat. God liked Abel and his offering, but Cain and his offering didn't get his approval. Cain lost his temper and went into a sulk.

Godspoke to Cain: "Why this tantrum? Why the sulking? If you do well, won't you be accepted? And if you don't do well, sin is lying in wait for you, ready to pounce; it's out to get you, you've got to master it."

Cain had words with his brother. They were out in the field; Cain came at Abel his brother and killed him."

What was the difference between Cain and Abel's offerings?  Abel's was actually a sacrifice.  He didn't bring God what he felt like giving him all the while expecting him to bless it.  No, unlike his brother Cain, Abel did what was required of him; what God requires of all of us: the obedience that comes in giving him our best.  What made Cain so angry?  I would imagine it was because he gave God what he thought would suffice and when he did not get the end result that he wanted, he became displeased---OK, hot.  Cain knew that God was too big for him to take on and so he went and took out his anger on his brother.

The lesson here?  Well, the first is that oftentimes, even for the greater good, sacrifice is not necessary when we are obedient.  Isn't it interesting that on the front end, what Cain and Abel were supposed to be presenting was not even considered a sacrifice, but an offering?  Why?  Because when you make a sacrifice to God, you never do it without receiving a return; you never give without having an abundance beyond measure given back to you (Luke 6:38). 

When God calls you to tithe, it's not a sacrifice because he says that he will rebuke the devour if you do (Malachi 3:10-11).

When God calls you to submit to your husband, it's not a sacrifice because if he's acting a fool, first, he has to answer to who he's called to submit to (Ephesians 5:23), secondly, it's often by your obedience that he's won over (I Peter 3:1-2) and finally if he wants his prayers to be answered, he has to do right by you anyway (I Peter 3:7).

When God calls you to humble yourself, it's not a sacrifice because it's only in doing so that you are exalted (I Peter 5:6-7).

When God calls you to treat your enemies well, it's not a sacrifice because he says that he will reward you for doing so (Proverbs 25:21-22).

When God calls you to not be a drunk, to not steal, to not want what doesn't belong to you, to not be a homosexual, to not put anything before him, it's not a sacrifice because in doing so, you have entry into his kingdom (I Corinthians 6:9-10).

I don't know about you, but for me, when it comes to "sacrifice", it appears to be more about perspective than anything else.  Sure, because the flesh and spirit are always "having it out" (Galatians 5:17), to the carnal mind, yes it is indeed a sacrifice, I'll give you that.  But don't you see that when you are willing to put your will behind God's way, you always come out on top?

Which brings me to my second and final point.

When we make an offering or sacrifice to God, the enclosed definition says that in exchange for what we value (our ego, our intellect, our sensuality, our "the way we see its"), we will get something greater in return.  But when we go outside of God's standard for living, this is not something that we can be sure of or confident in.  Kim Porter is not first and unfortunately won't be the last woman to give her all to a man without a godly commitment in place, but when she took matters into her own hands, when she decided to do things as she saw fit, because no woman's supernatural instincts can trump the wisdom of God (Isaiah 55:8), she ended up giving away precious things (her time, her body, her heart, her hopes and dreams) for, well, not quite so much.  Again, this was not a sacrifice; this was a consequence.

So, email buddy, what does it mean to sacrifice?  Well, in God's kingdom, it means that whenever you decide to give up something, it will be for the greater good of something else.  In the world's system it means that when you decide to give up something, chances are, you will have to continue doing so until you have nothing left.  It's the difference between love---the place that God resides and lust---the place that brings forth destruction and perdition (I Timothy 6:9).

As we come to the end of another week, think about the things that you have had to give up lately.  As a result of your offerings (spirit) or sacrifices (flesh) what are you getting in return?  Love, joy, longsuffering, patience, peace of mind, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).  If not, you may want to reevaluate your methodology.  God is not the author of confusion but peace, right? (I Corinthians 14:33)   Also, take this time to ask God to show you the difference between "sacrifice" and "consequence".  Again, just because you took something, doesn't mean necessarily that God gave it.  And finally, if you are being obedient and it feels like you are losing things left and right, remember that the first definition of "love" is patient (I Corinthians 13:4) and if you don't lose heart, a just reward is on it's way (Galatians 6:9).

One that, chances are, you won't have to sacrifice (Ecclesiastes 3:14).

©Shellie R. Warren/2007