by Clay Nichols
Member since:
January 12, 2007

On the Soccer Express: Parent or Bus Driver?

September 18, 2007 10:31 PM EDT
views: 27 | rating: 10/10 (7 votes) | comments: 20
A significant watershed in my parenting life has been reached.  Two of my kids have soccer games this weekend.  At the same time.

I'll be with my oldest.  I'm sure it will be a fun and interesting game – his new team is higher up the soccer food chain, but I'll be missing my daughter's first soccer game ever.  Her game will likely be a cute little hurricane of pink-cleated competition.  I'd love to be there to see how she dives in.  My wife gets the nod because she will have youngest with her, and the playground near where Middle will play has a view of the field.

That arrangement indicates that logistics are now in the driver seat.

Our weekends will not be driven by a desire to see a kid play in a particular game, or activities that we have planned, or a spontaneous urge to go the pool or the park.  From here on out, our weekends will consist of loading up the minivan or minivans and heading out to wherever the coaches tell us.  We've become those people.

With two (and soon to be three) kids involved in team sports or other extra-curriculars, parents become shuttle drivers.  You hear this all the time, but as with parents that give their kids toy guns or Barbies or hot dogs, you never think it will happen to you.

By my calculations, my wife and I will be responsible for running a limo service for two kids with weekend activities until Middle can drive.  That's 2017.  Ugh.

I guess things get better when the teams are run by the school (middle school?), but there's no guarantee that they won't get passionate about some weird sport or activity that the school doesn't support.

What's the answer here?  How do you keep yourself from becoming a bus driver in your spare time?  Keep the kids out of activities?  (I've always thought that one activity a season per kid was reasonable, but now even that seems like more than we can manage.)
 Carpools?

Any parenting vets out there with a solution? 

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Comments: 20

Janna O'Donnell Sep 18, 2007, 10:40pm EDT
I have three in activities now. Oldest swims three times a week, younger son has soccer for 2 hours one day a week and younger son and older daughter have gymnastics with together for an hour and a half each week. I've told my husband that the youngest will have her choice of those three activities. LOL! In Barbados, however, there are rarely weekend commitments. The occasional Saturday game or meet might occur but it's not every Saturday, Thank God!
Clay Nichols Sep 18, 2007, 10:52pm EDT
Now that is a full juggling act -- three kids in the air! And another on the way up? On the island do you have to drive? Or can the kids get to the activities on their own?
Jennifer P. Sep 18, 2007, 10:57pm EDT
Wish I had some answers for you but right now I only have 2 in soccer. The oldest for the 2nd year (and 4th season) and the youngest for the first time. Thankfully they still play at the same are where there are four fields to play based on ages. The only problem we have come across is that you can't see either field at the same time. Thankfully when my husband works, I have another soccer mom who will stay with my youngest while I walk my oldest over to her coach and then come back for the little one. They also do not have any games at the same exact time. They only follow each other 2 or 3 times so I will only miss a few mintues of each. I do not look forward to what you have to do but it sounds like you have it all worked out though. The only other you could do would be to switch who goes with what child/children each game. Good luck to you with keeping things going smoothly! And good luck to your kids in their games!
Susan Kelley Sep 18, 2007, 10:58pm EDT
We have four wonderful, well adjusted kids that all play sports, do some musical work and are involved in church activities. First of all, make friends with other parents so you can rely on each other when you get in a jam and return the favor to them. Remember you can't be everywhere, and your children will understand that. You'll feel worse about missing their things than they will about it.
Now that my two oldest sons are playing college sports, our distances to travel are greater and the youngest two are still very busy. We have a college football player, a college baseball player, a high school cross country runner, and a middle school field hockey player that I coach. Yes, we're busy, but we love watching them. You'll be tired, sometimes frustrated and also very proud. Go for it. Dont' hold them back because it's inconvienent for you.
Clay Nichols Sep 18, 2007, 11:09pm EDT
Jennifer -- Thanks for the support. I'm jealous that your kids play on fields near each other. We did request that our daughter play on the same team as her best friend (a neighbor), and we can carpool with them. Still doesn't help me see all the games! I want to see them all!

Thanks Susan. Your story is inspiring, but I'm a bit exhausted just reading about it. I remember that when I played college football, that I still appreciated when my parents (and my grandparents -- never missed a game) were in the stands.
Melanie S. Sep 18, 2007, 11:17pm EDT
I don't really have any suggestions other than to just move with the waves.... and to tease you a little cause my oldest will be able to drive by 2012 *winks*
Clay Nichols Sep 18, 2007, 11:21pm EDT
Go ahead and taunt me, Melanie! May they raise the driving age in your state!
Jennifer P. Sep 18, 2007, 11:34pm EDT
I know it's hard when you can't see them all but if it makes you feel better, my husband winds up missing more than half of them because he works weekends too and can't always get the time off. He gets as upset as you do. It also makes me more thankful they are at the same field, otherwise one of them would probably wind up missing their game and that just wouldn't do.
Jo C. Sep 19, 2007, 12:48am EDT
Car pool and/or get a neighborhood kid to drive once in awhile. Trust me, it is worth the expense to get off the driving Merry go Round once in awhile!
Jo C. Sep 19, 2007, 12:48am EDT
I generally like to watch the games but I don't like driving to and from practices so my husband and I split that up, especially on weekends.
Cindy F. Sep 19, 2007, 10:22am EDT
My kids do not like soccer so my van takes a breather in the fall months. Come springtime, my husband and I divide our time between the fields!
Kimberly Ripley Sep 19, 2007, 5:33pm EDT
Oh, how well I remember those days! Little League, soccer, karate, ballet lessons, and on and on and on! At the time I LIVED in a Ford Taurus station wagon. I wish you well and give the following advice: ALWAYS keep snacks with you. Cheer loud...but not TOO loud. And never say ANYTHING that your kids might remotely perceive as embarrassing!! Above all, remember to have fun. These days will end all too quickly!
Clay Nichols Sep 19, 2007, 6:27pm EDT
And you know the other issue this raises is an environmental one. How sustainable is driving the kids all over creation every weekend? Good for them in the short term, bad for them in the long term.
Clay Nichols Sep 19, 2007, 6:27pm EDT
Lynn -- Ah, the only child taunt! Where were you six, and then again three years ago?

Kim -- The snacks advice is well taken, but one question, do snacks that have accumulated on the floor of the minivan count?
Laura H. Sep 20, 2007, 11:21am EDT
Someday, I'll be there but with one at almost 3years, well, I'm just getting started.
Clay Nichols Sep 20, 2007, 11:39am EDT
You've got a while still, Laura. We'll keep the seat warm for you!
Kori J. Sep 21, 2007, 4:55pm EDT
With four of varying ages, it is equally hectic. Thank God for school sanctioned sports, where at least a bus takes them and I just have to pick them up from school. Am also a single parent, so to be honest, there are priorities, and seeing every game/meet/recital is just not one of them. I try to make sure someone, be it friend or family member or some guy I yanked off the street for that express purpose is there, but it isn't always me. Also, to be frank, we overschedule our kids as a rule, and I want to be home with my kids, not a driver. The caveat of all of this is that my oldest gets to start taking driver's ed and will be licensed in 2008-hallelujah! Of course, we live in Idaho so they can be licensed at 15, which helps, LOL...
Clay Nichols Sep 22, 2007, 10:18am EDT
Kori-- Couldn't agree more about over scheduling. More down/play time is what kids need. I'm really looking forward to those school sanctioned trips. I'm walking out the door for a day of games, etc.
Janna O'Donnell Sep 27, 2007, 8:15am EDT
Hi Clay. To answer your question, yes I have to drive. All of their activities are on the other side of the island from where we live.

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