I am 19 yrs old, and I have a terrible time making friends. I seem to be "out of the loop" no matter what group of people I'm in. People never seem to like me if I act like myself, so in order to be accepted, I have to pretend to be someone I'm not (which I hate doing and rarely ever do). I have been told that sometimes I come across as "stuck up" to people who don't know me, but the same people who say I appear "stuck up" tell me that I'm really not. I did not go to public school when I was growing up, but was homeschooled instead. Contrary to popular beliefs, I was not secluded from people. I was in choir, volleyball, and group classes. I started working in a restaurant at 14 and have had a job almost all the time since then. I will admit that although I had plenty of interaction with people, I was quite sheltered. I wonder if this has something to do with my problem? I don't have the same sense of humor as most people (laughing when nobody else does, not laughing when other people do, etc). I follow current clothing trends to some extent, but I also have my own style. I have never been a "girlie-girl" and hate dressing up, wearing make-up, skirts, housework etc. most of the time. When my daughter was born, I thought I was going to go crazy sitting at home with nothing to do, so I returned to work after 3 1/2 weeks and my husband was home during the days with her. I had hoped that being around people would get easier as I grew older and got out in the world more, but so far I've had no such luck.
Will I ever have an easier time making friends, or will I be doomed to loneliness forever?
feel free to ask questions/give advice
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Comments: 25
Like if you like to scrabook, or make cards, or jog, etc.?
I've always been different & have been into stuff that is not considered "normal" for most. I've always been able to make friends easily & even with ppl who are the complete opposite of me.
I've had ppl say that they never would have imagined that they would end up becoming good friends with someone who looks like me. For people to love you for who you are & your REAL self, you have to first like yourself. If you don't, what can you do to improve yourself? I'm not talking about looks, I'm talking about the important things, like your personality & how you treat others.
also, i do like myself. maybe that's a problem. all the girls i know are always complaining about themselves (mostly physical). i often sense jealousy from them because i don't worry about being skinny enough or pretty enough. i've always been skinny and the only part of my body i would change if i could is my nose! however, girls who are like me physically still obsess over their bodies and their looks. girls who don't are usually nerds/geeks who are into gaming or are emo
(i love elderly people, and they think i'm sweet, but they would disprove of me if they knew me for real i think)
I nearly brought up jealousy before & how hard it is to find girls that are true friends
I much like you spent my time not fitting in. Really I still dont. My husband has scores of cousins that are girly girls that I just dont fully mesh with.
Men on the other hand... seem to be where my friendships are. I play poker, me and 5-10 men, one being my husband.
Even when I do find a female that I get along with, it's short lived. I just deal and keep my male friends around.(sometimes hubby doesnt like that part but... he loves me)
In the end you can only be you, take it or leave it, its who you are. Good Luck.
Badeaux Knights
never fake it! Be yourself, always,a nd be true to the wonderful person you are. I speak from experience. Having come from a large family, I struggled with my identity as I grow up. Finally, I said to heck with them all, I'll be myself. People can like me or not.
As it turns out, a lot of people like me because of unique personality. You have a
unique personality, that's why it's so hard for you to make friends. Just be yourself,
and cherish your individuality. You'll be okay.
also, i do go to church but i've quit recently because i just didn't fit in there either. everybody there would go out to eat after church (it's on a saturday night because they dont have their own building yet) and be out till 2 in the morning and first, i usually dont have the money to go out, second, my daughter is only 6 1/2 mos old and that's not her idea of a good time. therefore, i really don't have much of a chance to get to know the people. i did try to reach out to a few, but i had to be the one always calling them and asking them to do stuff and that gets old after a while.
when my daughter is older, i will try to get involved in activities with her, but for now,she's too young and since i work, i can't take her to storytime at the library or anything.
If you like true stories, check out the high school Diaries
tim, LOL!