Whoever came up with the saying "sticks & stones" couldn't have been human

I've just been told(well, last night, when I was only semi-concious)that I'm sending nasty emails once again. How is it I do these things without ever having done them? I'm not this bad person some people like to make out that I am. I'm a nice person--funny thing is, I use to hate to be called that because then you were everybodies bestfriend...that they could take advantage of, one of the "guys"...the whole nine yards.

I know that the people who stay true to me thru all this crap, that actually bother to get to know me, know the truth. And I know the truth, but it doesn't mean that this stuff doesn't still hurt. And I can't come up with any reason why people would accuse me, except that they are bullies...?

I've been having to deal with them most of my life...try being a good head taller than every guy you graduate with EXCEPT one; try going to a "hick" school, where it matters; being shy & quiet; being nice....

And these past couple of days, been having to deal with some not so very nice kids that my Sara goes to school with--who are now in trouble for "cyber-bullying". Ok, I found a way to take care of hers, with help from the principal and the officer(s). How should I or do I handle it for me? Or am I just expected to ignore it? I've been wrongfully accused and convicted just on "their" words alone.

Why can't this crap end? If they wanted to know, they won along time ago...I have no real relationship here anymore, haven't really for over a year now. Trying to wreck what's already broken? Guess all you can do is grind up the shards now...

Guess I just take it to my therapist and get her help in dealing again. Talk to my friends, blog...and work on that story, maybe some poetry. And just ignore it as much as possible...and the people who keep on doing it, too.

Ya know, I really have too much to deal with when it comes to upcoming surgery(again), trying to find a place to live(w/out having a relationship if I need a roommate), finacial worries(as always), and just general Life. why would I bother digging thru someone else's garbage?

Sigh...people.