While we tend to think solely of lovers as potential recipients of our written expressions of love, we should not exclude our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children and friends when setting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard, but more on that later). Love letters can be familial or erotic. They can simply touch the tip of the iceberg or passionately scour the depths of the sea.
In her concise and entertaining book, For the Love of Letters, a 21st Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing, Samara O'Shea tells us "There is no formula for love letters" but she generously offers the following suggestions (and more) that can ease this otherwise often-daunting task:
- Get right to the point.
Start with one quick sentence (e.g., "There is something I simply must tell you.") - Bring on the adjectives.
If you first list some things you love about the recipient of your letter, you will have plenty of descriptive words to "wrap a few sentences around." - Disguise your letter.
If you're shy about expressing your love, express your gratitude which will undoubtedly be well received. - Ask questions.
O'Shea finds clever rhetorical questions an easy way to flatter your lover - or your mother. (Example: "Could you be any sweeter?") - Fake 'em out.
For instance a sentence that begins "You, for some reason, find it necessary to distract me from work..." can be followed by the complimentary "Thank you for doing that!" or simply "I love that about you." - Counteract the cliches.
Instead of "I love your smile," try "Your smile is my favorite distraction..." - Have fun.
No one is in trouble here; it's all good.
Both your salutation and sign-off can be as creative as your imagination allows. "Dear Joe" can be just as nice as "To my dearest." Similarly, "With love" might be equally as well received as "Dying to see you again." It merely depends on to whom you are writing and what the two of you are like.
Many of us have written loving notes to our children, friends and parents. But gifting an erotic letter to a sweetheart or spouse often sows the seeds of the most pleasant rewards. In For the Love of Letters, O'Shea provides a racy example of just such a letter. (Consider yourself forewarned here; I do mean racy.) Writing an erotic letter yourself is easier than you think when you follow O'Shea's guidelines:
- Be specific. Appeal to all the five senses.
- Sign off appropriately. (O'Shea likes "Restlessly.")
- Only use email if you are recreating the previous day/night and want to send it immediately but not to a business email account!
O'Shea admits "lean[ing] toward mixing sweet analogies with inappropriate ones (for example, "You are stately as a palm tree....and your breasts are like its clusters..." Song of Solomon) but advises that only you know what is appropriate for your lover. Maybe that means pornography - but maybe it means Keats or Browning and you don't want to get that wrong!
If all else fails, for a reasonable fee O'Shea will write a love letter - or any other kind - for you via her website LetterLover.net. I suggest first trying the steps in her book which, incidentally, is full of wonderful quotes and anecdotes that are sure to get your creative juices jumping.
It worked for me (but that's all I have to say about that)!
For the Love of Letters by Samara O'Shea
Published by HarperCollins (2007)
ISBN: 0061215309
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Comments: 35
and this is such a beautiful review of Samara's fine book!
For inspiration or perhaps a sobering perspective there is the new TV show Tell Me You Love Me. All the actors, including the matronly psychiatrist, engage in sexual acts. British actress Sonya Walger, 33, stars as Carolyn. She has a first in English from Christ Church, Oxford, so she should know when she compares the show to a Harold Pinter play. "Intellectually and morally I made my peace with it very quickly," she says. "But when it comes to actually showing up on set and taking your dress off, it's a big pill to swallow." It was somewhat a turnoff to watch eight very successful people ( all married couples, I think ) seeking to manage their domestic lives and have the added erotic element.
My brother recently came across a shoe box full of letters I wrote to him when he was in college. Oh yes, we have a good time over those!
As for this one being a commercial - If by commercial you mean my personal recommendation to read (buy or borrow - in fact, I'll lend you my copy) it, then yes, this one is a commercial. No veils necessary!!
But it's also an explanation of how to write a love letter. I recently did this (after reading O'Shea's book) for my husband with much great success. It's something I've thought about many times in the past and I am so glad I made the leap. If you are interested in writing a love letter yourself, feel free to send me a private message and I'd be glad to share even more tips with you.
p.s. Also glad the Gremlins released you!
good stuff as ever. as long as someone is still writing letters at all, that's a good thing.
I guess we could print off emails and tie them with a satin ribbon to put under our pillows....
I also think that letter-writing is something that can be done from anywhere to any person in any time. Just yesterday I wrote 4 pages to myself, justifying the purchase of a naked pen (you know, the kind you can tip over to disrobe the figure on the side...). Four pages!
I suggest that every person write a letter to themselves, not a journal entry, not a list of what you are doing, and certainly not an attempt at catching a publisher's eye (unless, of course, you ARE a publisher in which case, I have some things to show you, wink). I suggest that you really write a letter to yourself. Start by jotting. Allow the key strokes or the swish of the pen to direct you and you may surprise yourself. Be honest.
Write until the need has gone or exhausted you to the point that you can't even lift food to your mouth (I'd be writing for days). Now seal it up. Make it pretty. Sketch on each new layer you add: tape, glue, saran wrap, thong underwear. Whatever!
And now hide it away;
maybe in a book in your den, under your mattress, behind a wall hanging will do. And when you find it and tear open those layers, do try to be forgiving of your previous self.
PS COOL PICTURE YO! I WONDER WHO TOOK IT!
I'd rather, receive a great letter from a friend, lover then a bouquet of flowers.
The letter, like a book a can pick up and over & over again. Thank you, for the gift you gave with this piece and advice. ~mo-zy p.s. I'm been gone a lot -- happy to hear your computer is working and you are back.
Thank you for inspiring me to write an actual 'letter' again.
Blessings and best wishes from your Russian friend - S.