by Dena Straughn
Member since:
August 12, 2007

My Baby Girl

September 04, 2007 08:59 PM EDT
views: 124 | rating: 9.9/10 (48 votes) | comments: 58

Finally! A girl!

Black haired beauty,

Dimpled hands,

Gummy Smile.

 

Mama, Dada

 

Toddling Cherub

Stealing hearts

Falling Down

Two-toothed Smile

 

I wuv you Mommy,

 

Freckled Nose

Peeking over my footboard

Tickling my toes

A smile with no front teeth

 

Happy Birthday Mommy!

 

Attitude, no gratitude

Rolling eyes

Tender Years

Tin Grin

 

Oh Mom, you're so old fashioned!

 

Suddenly a beauty

Boyfriends, Best friends

Cell Phones and Grounded

Pouty Smiles

 

Mom, can I go to the Prom?

 

My best friend, my daughter

Wedding showers,

Wedding gown

Teary eyed smiles

 

Mom, please don't cry.

 

How very fast it all has gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 I would like to ask you a favor. I have entered the First Chapters Romance Contest and would appreciate your consideration.   Only votes of ten are counted in the final tally.  If you read it and like it, I would appreciate your 10 rating.   If you are inclined to leave comments, then know that I encourage and I covet your honest praise and critique.  If you prefer to email any negative critique to save my sensitive ego, I still would like your input.  This is my first novel, and, as you’ll see in my comments, I have already taken much advice to heart.  I cannot make corrections during the voting period. Thank you for taking a peek.   This is the link: 

<a href=http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977084290>Dancing With My Dream"</a>

 

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Comments: 58

Kylee **Queen of Karaoke** S. Sep 4, 2007, 9:04pm EDT
Very sweet, thanks for sharing
Sarah C. Sep 4, 2007, 9:11pm EDT
Great poem!! :)
cindy a. Sep 4, 2007, 9:12pm EDT
very true, thanks
Brenda (square peg in a round hole) H. Sep 4, 2007, 9:13pm EDT
That was very nice.
Jean, just the teensiest bit odd, F. Sep 4, 2007, 9:17pm EDT
Awesome, Dena!!!
Lisa Frost Sep 4, 2007, 9:18pm EDT
This is wonderful, and very true. My baby will be 21 in January.
Shaunee C. Sep 4, 2007, 9:24pm EDT
Cute poem
Ninee H. Sep 4, 2007, 9:26pm EDT
Precious and Adorable
Tami S. Sep 4, 2007, 9:32pm EDT
Great Dena...thanks for sharing
Rick *Don Rico* J. Sep 4, 2007, 9:35pm EDT
Four daughters here. They are all growing up too fast.

Great poem...
Celisa S. Sep 4, 2007, 9:36pm EDT
Ha, I almost used the word "Adorable" like the person above, without seeing their comment. Then I erased it and decided to come up with something more original. Something more like..."you're a very talented writer!"

I am going to read the submission you posted (and rate it a ten)! Hope you win!
Missy Cline Sep 4, 2007, 9:39pm EDT
so sweet!!!!
Lela M. Sep 4, 2007, 9:43pm EDT
In the blink of an eye, they grow up so fast. Very well written.
Heather W. Sep 4, 2007, 9:47pm EDT
Very beautiful!
Vivian P. Sep 4, 2007, 9:48pm EDT
wonderful
Jennifer- Very lucky mommy S. Sep 4, 2007, 10:05pm EDT
that was very cute
Larry H. Sep 4, 2007, 10:10pm EDT
Cute thanks for sharing.
Jae F. Sep 4, 2007, 10:13pm EDT
They do grow up so fast!!!
Theresa W. Sep 4, 2007, 10:34pm EDT
lovely poem, and so very true
Sheila Deeth Sep 4, 2007, 10:45pm EDT
How fast indeed. My youngest just went to college. Lovely poem.
Alison H. Sep 4, 2007, 11:42pm EDT
Good poem!
Demongirl A.K.A. Girl Toy Sep 4, 2007, 11:50pm EDT
That is soo cute Dena! I love it! :)
Heidi M. Sep 4, 2007, 11:51pm EDT
"Mom, please don't cry." Of course i started crying instantly.
ashish j. Sep 5, 2007, 12:16am EDT
hiiii, plz try againn
ashish j. Sep 5, 2007, 12:18am EDT
and thts a real good poem. funny and poigant at the same time
Umar, Abu Nurain Sep 5, 2007, 1:00am EDT
This is so so true! I've done it three times with one more to go.
lynn a. Sep 5, 2007, 1:16am EDT
Great poem. I could only think, oh, so true.
Marilyn M. Sep 5, 2007, 1:19am EDT
Awww. The time does fly, doesn't it?
Terry Collett Sep 5, 2007, 2:27am EDT
I know that road from baby to friend so well. This is expressed well and accurate.
Minakshi w. Sep 5, 2007, 2:48am EDT
Dena, I fell in love with your little baby girl and her 'I wuv you Mommy..!', her freckled nose and toothless smile. Too me back years...when my own little girl was a toddler.
Time passes so quickly when they are young, suddenly you realise they are all rown up and ready to fight their own battles in the world.
Loved this poem, Dena!
Granny Janny H. Sep 5, 2007, 2:59am EDT
Universal mommy story
Told in all its simple glory
Precious time
Yours and mine
Jerry Kays Sep 5, 2007, 3:38am EDT
:-)
Cristina S. Sep 5, 2007, 5:26am EDT
Yeah, blink once and they go to school. Blink again and they go off to university. After that, even if you choose not to blink anymore, they relentlessly go their own way and you have to be very creative in thinking up all the good reasons for seeing each other!
But I wouldn't trade with anyone. All of it was - is - priceless!
James B. Sep 5, 2007, 8:14am EDT
Nice job.
Deb J. Sep 5, 2007, 10:17am EDT
Yep! You got it right! I went through it with 2 boys and now I'm starting over with my 8 yr. old daughter! She's a whole different ball game!!
Tara R. Sep 5, 2007, 11:59am EDT
This is wonderful, Dena! I am starting to hit the stages of wanting things because they're what's "IN". I worry, but ask God to watch over my daughter and help her to make the right decisions each and every day.
LOvely poem. WTG...!
John Harris Beck Sep 5, 2007, 12:46pm EDT
A nice sequence of mother-daughter moments... and her words sound exactly remembered all along the way.
Marge H. Sep 5, 2007, 1:10pm EDT
How fast the time does go indeed! My granddaughter will be 20 in a few days.
Pam H. Sep 5, 2007, 1:15pm EDT
I thought this was ver well written.
Jo C. Sep 5, 2007, 1:39pm EDT
Everyone told me the time would pass quickly. It did! But sometime when they were 1 or 2, it seemed like the time passes...in a haze of running after them.
Eucliffe L. Sep 5, 2007, 2:41pm EDT
a sweet simple progression to a monumental truth, masterfully programmed
Sue * Sep 5, 2007, 4:40pm EDT
I have a baby girl turning 23 this week, I understand and love your words.
ROBERT A. Sep 5, 2007, 6:48pm EDT
CLICHE!
Dena Straughn Sep 5, 2007, 10:00pm EDT
Robert, normally I don't respond to negative critique, except to take it to heart and try to learn from it; however I would like to ask you to elaborate. I will say that "tin grin" is cliche, and purposely so, and maybe even , "Mom, you're so old fashioned," (a direct quote from my daughter), but I have not seen another work like this before. So, because I have not, I would have to argue that it would have to be more universal than cliche. This is a mother's heart, not a cardboard cut out of someone else's word.

That said, I am glad you stopped by and I welcome further visits, because I believe your opinion is important and valid because it is your truth.
Robert D. Sep 6, 2007, 12:40am EDT
Love it! Have 2 girls at 10 & 6 yrs stages, so you just spoiled the ending! LOL! Luckily, they each write their ending differently; just hope that theirs are close to our dreams for them. I think Robert meant "Ole!" not "Cliche!" With only 500,000 words in the English language, there is little that has not been said. The writer's job is to make the potentially trite and cliched new again with each attempt to put our thoughts and hearts out there for public display.
Dina B. Sep 6, 2007, 12:42am EDT
Dena; Please ignore Robert's ignorant remark. Your poem is a wonderful synopsis of a love for a lifetime. I wish all moms and dads would think before they get angry at the little things their children do, they'll be gone before you know it.

My ex endlessly complained about everything; messy rooms, mistakes, broken toys. My children and I are inseparable and they feel like they can come to me about everything and anything. On the other hand, they have a very strained relationship with him. In the end, the kids will just remember all the time we have spent together, not whether the house was spotless!
Tiffany G. Sep 6, 2007, 1:56am EDT
I loved that! So very true!
Jimmy _ Sep 6, 2007, 2:18am EDT
So true!
Jimmy _ Sep 6, 2007, 2:21am EDT
And then your a grandmother and the whole cycle starts again!
Jimmy _ Sep 6, 2007, 2:26am EDT
I look at the pictures of my children and wonder where the time went. Looking back, it was like the blink of an eye.
Quinn (aka Entwife) Blackburn Sep 6, 2007, 2:57am EDT
Excellent! It does fly by so fast...

..
U wishing you laughter
arlene (no shame in my game) w. Sep 6, 2007, 10:03am EDT
That's kind of sad, but you are so lucky to have a daughter!
Haim Kadman Sep 6, 2007, 11:25am EDT
Yeah, a lovely poem and so true.
Lydia aka Freedom's Daughter Sep 7, 2007, 10:24am EDT
Wow, Dena, so that's what I have to look forward to? Sounds wonderful, really nice piece:)
Jerri H. Sep 9, 2007, 11:20am EDT
Beautiful Dena....thanks!!!

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