hey all. Long time no see.
My girlfriend and I are talking about getting married in the near future. As with so many non-religous couples these days, it seems its the insurance benefits and in state tuition and other such perks that are making us want to take the plunge now rather than later (one thing to be said for atheists is they won't marry just for sex - although insurance is another thing.)
The issues facing us are these: Her parents live in Tampa, she was born and raised in tampa, and she has no good friends where we both are living now in Utah (she's only been out here a couple months now) so it seems the entire thing has to happen in florida. If we had our way, We would probably do a very small wedding here in utah and move on, but her parents are very traditional and rather easily offended, and we are not interested in upsetting them. They will want to have the wedding in Florida of course, and they will want it to be rather traditional. (We have come to discover that the perks of going along with their will when we can bear it outweigh the not-so-significant emotional rewards of sticking to our own resolve (: )
The added lame thing about going to florida is that my girlfriend also has no good friends where she was raised. She was homeschooled -against her will she says!- and had only one close friend in highschool who she had a pretty big falling out with...not that they aren't civil now- i'm just saying there is no one in florida she really wants at the wedding, she says. in fact, i probably have more friends in florida from the semester of college i did down there last year to be close to her. The point is that neither of us feel any sort of desire to invite a thousand friends. Our invitations will be sent, for the most part, out of a sort of obligation. And if our pictures turn out extremely well, a little vanity.
It's weird to know what to do with the wedding finances. I can count the number of times my parents and her parents have spoken probably on one hand (thats in two years of dating). My parents are afraid of hers because her parents were so against the relationship for about the first 8 months and seemed a bit upset about my parents live-and-let-live attitude, and both parents don't know how to relate to each other because my parents' entire life is about mormonism, and her parents' entire life is about fundamentalist christianity (ah how religion brings us all together). It's hard to say who is more conservative or religious, but they have one major thing in common: they both think of the other party as 'souls in jeapordy' (the extent to which mormons percieve 'non-mormons' like this is questionable; more like "souls who don't have the full truth and might miss out on their chance to become polygamous Gods!")
Anyway, what should we plan on doing for wedding financing? since her parents are still essentially against the union (My girlfriend and I are "unequally Yoked," since she is a believer and iam not - although this isn't true anymore. we are both equally yoked nonbelievers these days but she lets her parents think otherwise) its hard to have a happy conversation about how much money they want to put into this unequal yokage. obviously the conversation will be had, but I was curious as to the popular opinion these days with regard to what college aged non-dependent (although still considered such on that damn fafsa form!) couples should do when getting married. Should we simply assume they will not pay? buy then of course we would do a small wedding not across the country. And i guess thats my answer. If they want the wedding in florida, they can foot the bill.
Sorry for wasting your time. Any comments are welcome.