"An Aerosmith Story"

For those who missed this the first time I have decided to repost it

I had a Meltdown;  it was Nobody's fault. Life looks different when you are Outta your head. You could Scream in pain on the ward and no seemed to hear. The attitude was Shut up and dance.  I didn't flinch when some one yelled Janie's got a gun, but I never wanted to go back there. Once is enough I thought. I didn't go Animal crackers, have a  Monkey on my back  or have Toys in the attic.  It was more like the South station blues.  At least I didn't buy The farm.  I had a Three mile smile when I finally was Movin' out and going home. It was a Sweet emotion when I woke up the next day with the Sudona Sunrise streaming thru my window and  I realized I was back home.

I always Let the Music do the talking for me. I wasn't Crazy, I just hit Critical Mass. I just had to Cry me a River but my tears were dry. The head Voo doo medicine man  put me on medicine. "It won't let you down", he said. "Ah, but will I be able to Walk on water now?" I asked. He smiled.

I Never loved a girl like I loved Mia. She always threatened to go on a Permanent vacation from me. I knew she had Rats in the cellar of her soul, but she was a Drop dead gorgeous  Fallen Angel from Hollywood. She left with Sharpshooter   My fist your face   Downtown Charlie. She was Getting under my skin for a long time but when she walked in a room my Temperature would rise. I Remember when she left, she said "Honey there's only Seasons of Wither around you. You are Sick as a dog with the flu  and you're no fun. I'm Ready for something new and I want a Taste of India. See ya!

 Ain't that a bitch!!  It was just Young lust. I  first thought Baby please don't go but I said, "You see me crying? You were never there When I needed you. Just Write me a letter sometime, babe." There was A hole in my soul whenever she was around anyway.

I wasn't a Blindman so it was No surprise when she left. I knew her beauty wouldn't last forever, I could see her looking like a Bolivian Ragamuffin when her Nine lives were gone. Our love had become a One way street anyway. I always say The reason a dog chases his tail Round and round is to find company.

In a week, I had to go On the road again. It was time to leave my Red House and go back and use my Magic touch, playing keyboard for Legendary Child.  I don't want to miss a thing.  We were going on tour with Pink and next year with Crash Test Dummies. Some said our music brought Eyesight to the blind. My thought was when Jesus is on the main line that's his gig.

 A week passed and I packed What it takes to get by so I could Fly away from here . The taxi came at 10 am. I wouldn't be Home tonight.   Kings and Queens didn't have the life I had.  A Light inside goes on and life makes a Full Circle.  Kiss your past goodbye, you're living on the Other side of life now.

 On tour you get a touch of   Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu. The Road Runners  had to set everything up on the stage in their Gypsy boots.

Simoriah was the first one I saw when I got to the hotel. "You're a Sight for sore eyes!" she said and hugged me. "Shame on you for not calling me in weeks." It was the Same old song and dance, but it felt good.  She went to Line up  the room keys for eveyone.  Oh, Livin' on the edge in a hotel room, you Gotta love it.

Then I saw "her" in the lobby, I was Back in the Saddle again. The Devil's got a new disguise, I thought as I walked towards her.  Cheesecake just doesn't desribe her, she was an Angel.  Her face  Beyond beautiful.  I had a Big ten inch record I wanted to show her later in my room. I didn't want a Dime store lover, I wanted a Woman of the world. I was Falling in love just looking at her. Head first I dove into conversation with her. She told me her name was Shela St John.  Smokestack lightning went thru my soul when she shook my hand. Take it easy I told my racing heart. I was Walking the dog, strutting my stuff. When she said no to meeting me after the show for a drink, I said, "Sunshine,  Think about it." 

What kind of love are you on? I wondered. The Girls of summer who came to the show would welcome my attention. My Heart's done time with fans. They call it Lizard Love. I just Can't stop messin' with chicks but I stayed away from Jailbait!

I always had Bright light fright before a show. I wanna know why but I never thought to ask my shrink. But once let's Boogie man was said and then the Intro, my mind was on the music. Every performance it was like Pandora's box opening up and the fans would go wild! It certainly wasn't The hop their parents went to. The train kept a rollin'  a few hours then stopped and our performance was over. You get Jaded but you don't bite The hand that feeds you so it was time to sign your name. That part was The grind.

Lo and behold, Shela St John was waiting for me by the exit. She's on fire for me,  Somethings gotta give! Dueces are wild tonight.

"I Remember you were going to buy this lady a drink," She said with a big smile.

Wow, she had an Attitude adjustment from where she was a few hours ago. "Sure what's your poison, Rattlesnake shake  or Bitch's brew sound good My girl?" I laughed as I asked.

"Some Combination...Make it  Black cherry soda for me." she told me as we walked to her car to leave.  I had a feeling it was going to take a while to Chip away the stone  to get to Come together this evening.

 When we got back to the hotel I leaned over to kiss Shela, Oh my Lord, she had an Adam's apple!  Then it crossed my mind, this Dude looks like a lady.  The Jig is up! No Chiquita banana for me.

For non Aerosmith fans  the song Dude has the line "Dude looks like a lady" and I worked it into the ending. 

Note: All song titles are from the lists at http://www.lyricsfreak.com