I've been ok the past couple of days (Monday and Tuesday) but last night I got really upset again over the breakup with Matt, my now ex-boyfriend. We dated for 7 1/2 months, which my mom reminded me of. She also said that we dated for 7 1/2 months and the pain won't go away over night. I already knew that.
Anyway...I have found that the hardest part of all about this breakup is not having somebody to pick up the phone and call, or shoot an e-mail to mid-day when something happens. Although I could call my friends or family, or even write on Gather, there was something about our conversations over these day-to-day things that I just completely miss.
For example, I would have told him all about this hellish lady I work with (I posted an article about her yesterday morning). He would have told me his thoughts and given me his professional and boyfriend-ly advice.
I would have picked up the phone last night when I noticed somebody from Matt's home town was playing against Andy Roddick in the U.S. Open. He and Matt are around the same age so they might know one another!
I would have called just to b.s. about my day.
I would send him an e-mail to make his day happy and make him smile...just to let him know I'm thinking of him.
I would tell him all about the argument I got into with my friend or about the visit to my grandpa's grave on Sunday.
I miss telling him about all of those things.
I also miss hearing about his day...how his meetings went, how the stock market did, if he got through a bazillion leads over the phone. I miss hearing his voice.
I miss all of that.
But I know it gets better with each passing day which I am thankful for.
I know I've been posting a lot about this situation but posting on Gather is something that makes me feel better. I don't necessarily have the words and can't always get out what I'm feeling to my friends...either because I'm too upset or simply because they won't understand. So thank you, Gather friends, for understanding and not getting TOO annoyed at all my breakup posts!