I don't know what to do!

My wife was pregnant when we took a cruise last year, I wouldn't recommend it. She was miserable. I like the idea of the private Vegas wedding then having a reception some other time.

Yea I gotta say ditch the whole cruise thing!

I was going to say the same basic thing that Evie has already said -- get married and then later when things have calmed down you can do it again in whatever way you want to and that works for the three of you :-) Weddings can be wonderful but not if they cause a lot of stress -- in my opinion :-)

A cruise might be miserable...

Get married, have a party, and enjoy it.

yeah!

(ditch the cruise)

Now me personally I had a 2 y/o and was 6 months pregnant when I got married. With the right dress and hold the bouqet right no one can tell, especially looking at the pictures. You will remember you wedding! I would say do something simple with just the parents and close family and then later do something like you had planned before! Then your new baby will be able to be in the wedding even if someone carries him or her down the aisle.

I would get married where you want, have the reception with everyone & then later, when you are ready, get re-married if you want the fancy one.

Get married in Vegas then have a reception later to celebrate the union. Don't have a coctail. :)
What matters is that you two love eachother and want to get married. All the rest will fall into place. :-)
Good luck, Michelle, on whatever you decide and best wishes.

the wedding is all about you its your big day but i would ditch the cruze cause of motion sickness (you being pg and all even if you wernt motion sick before with the baby on board it might happen) dont rush it and have fun like i said its all abut you and your new husband. no one els has a say in your nuptuals so dont let them force you into something you dont want

my "husband and I are not actually married yet either.. we have been together almost 4 years. We will get married one of these days! Were just not in a hurry right now! We are great the way we are.. good luck to you though!

Do Vegas baby. It's not the place or the party that counts it's the commitment to each other and your child. Nothing else really matters.

I have been struggling to figure out what I really want from MY wedding too. (but I don't have your added stress)

I say for the insurance and all that go for Vegas, then have a bigger one if you want later. At the end of the day, it is about the three of you:)

I think what you want is most important above all else BUT I think you are on the right track with wanting to be married for a real reason (I mean yeah love and stuff but also for the babys sake) The world is set up best for a married mother and father. There is no reason to not just get the legal stuff out of the way and then do the cruise or whatever else you want later!
But the important part is to make sure you do whatever it is you do want later. Make it memorable.

Thanks for the advice! I was leaning in the direction of what most people thought I should do so that's good to know! There's of course some more thought that needs to go into this, but I think the picture is forming a bit better than it was!

When I got married the second time we did the wedding ourselves. We got married in a church and in the back of the church we had wedding cake, soda and coffee. It was very nice. I didn't want to spend a lot of money, I did get flowers and a nice cake. I found a nice dress on sale but I don't have many pictures because I had a friend take pictures with my camera that worked before and after...the took 10 rolls and their wife was getting them developed at work. They said no pictures came out, but they likely lost the film. I only have the ones my maid of honor took.

You really ought not put it off because of the benefits. Once you are married if anything, God forbid happened to your spouse you would be able to get social security benefits for you and the child. You need to legal for the benefits.

One of my friends married a Harvard man in the Harvard chapel and it was just family, but her parents threw a nice reception for about 100 at their home. Your parents can always do that for you.

Talking frankly, with a baby coming getting married brings monetary gifts and that can help with you get a bigger place/own a home or being more financially prepared.

I am so happy for you. Let me us know what you decide.

im 5 months pregnant with my first and very newly married! we just got married on friday! i must say that having a quick wedding was much easier for now! we were going to wait to have it next year, but decided to just have a simple ceremony and a small party with family and a few friends! we decided to do it, planned it, and got it done in 2 weeks time! i must say that i feel better now just knowing we are now really a family ! whatever you decide .....do what will bring you peace and happiness! just remember there are bigger things to worry about right now then the perfect wedding! If you love eachother and know this is where you belong...any way you do it will be the right way, and a great way! best of luck to you on the baby and wedding plans!

Have a quick wedding now and a party later!

find out a couple of thing, do you work ,,if you do do yyou have in insurance, if not ok,
find out if BF insurance carries baby if his name on the birth certif, if is let him handle that, then after baby is born have what you want, where you want, how you want,,. If this cant happen due to insurance, and you need it also, then go quietly ti Justice of Peace, and do the fancey stuff in may or june when you have what you want such as the cruise thing, with family and friend,, or a big renew thing and party later,, the thing is what you and hubby to be wants not what the other wants.. sit down and talk to him write down pro and cons and work it out together,, that is part of this marriage thing.. you have alife together,, forever and ever,, hell you can have ten weeding in your life time if you want,, Enjoy my dear,,

Everything is going to work out fine. I think you should go get married, quietly, even at the courthouse, just for all the legal stuff. Then, after the baby is born, have the wedding you want. It may not be in order the way you wanted, but at least it will be the wedding you had always planned on. Ya know what I meen? Who says you can't do that. Yes, you will already be married, but you could still have the wedding you want...just kinda like a 'show'. Since you won't need a real priest or anything, I don't know, best I could come up with. Don't fret, everything will be fine!! And CONGRATS!!!

I'm in agreeance, forget the cruise for now!!!

As for making everything "proper?", get married in a small private ceremony in Cali. or Vegas and have a reception later when it is going to be more convenient, and the same with the honeymoon.... you really should have insurance when pregnant 'cause the costs are un-Godly.......take care of you and the baby #1 on list though, you don't want to get too stressed out. I have heard this isn't good for pregnant women

You talk about your life being ordered and well planned out. First, that's probably history when you have your baby. They have a way of completely changing things; but in a wonderful way. But do expect your world to be topsy-turvy for a while.

What if you have the baby first, and take the wedding and cruise a year or so later. You will be ready for a vacation then! And if you are concerned about the name thing, there is nothing magical about a wedding to change a name. You can make that change any time.

Michelle - first, congratulations on the way your love is growing! Babies are always a blessing. My sister was five months pregnant when she got married, and pulled it off with good posing and a carefully selected gown. As you read from my own conundrum, it seems like these things take on a life of their own. Part of what ends up being important is figuring out what YOU want, and making it something you will remember and enjoy later. Me, I want a church wedding, at least (I've been married two other times, both justice of the peace ceremonies, not even a picture from the day!). If a church wedding calls to your heart, have one. Trust me, you can INTEND to do it "the way I wanted" in a year, five years, ten years... and you will find that house payments, kid things, engines blowing up in vehicles... something in life will always get in the way afterwards. If you want a quiet cermony with a PLANNED wedding later, and are committed to doing that later (something boyfriend and I are contemplating as an option), I personally think it can work. A legal thing, followed by a pretty one. The problem is making sure both of you agree it WILL happen, regardless, and stick to it. What I ran into with my last marriage was a "well since we're already legal why do we care?" attitude, and we never got the "real" one done.

My boyfriend and I are also considering an earlier marriage for health insurance. He hasn't had any in a long time, and I'd like to have him get a good physical, at least, before I leave where I'm working. I feel stuck there just so I know I can provide him health insurance after we're married. If we do a quiet one and are legal, I can add him, and then have the other ceremony as planned without anyone really knowing how legal we were before.

I'm considering, since no one will give me away, having BOTH of us "shared" by our children. When the ceremony starts, instead of a who giveth this woman, having the pastor ask, first for him, "who shares this man?" and having his sons stand up and say "we do", then for me, "who shares this woman?" and having my sons stand up and say "we do." It seems to speak to the whole intent, of creating a family and sharing and loving together...

Best of luck in whatever you choose. Once you know what really is in your heart, you can probably make some good decisions. I know, in the end, whatever my wedding becomes it will be a mix of what I was expecting, and me laughing hysterically at the rest of the stuff that crops up on that given day. :-)

What's really important here is what YOU want. You sound like at one time getting married wasn't a big deal and now it's getting to be a bigger deal and that's why you are broken between doing something simple like staying in Vegas and extra day to get married or having something more and why you don't want to be losing out on anything. Would you mind if I give you a piece of advice? A wedding is one time only. Yes some people have more than one but the first one is the one that most people really remember. So make it special for yourself. You don't have to have anything fancy but you do have to have it special...for YOU. Don't beat yourself up about it. I am telling you this and I have a boyfriend a baby and am not married. But that is my choice. He wants to marry and has before we even had the baby but I don't want marriage. Never have. The same shoe does not fit on every foot and marriage is something VERY serious. Do it when you want, as you want. And don't think about anyone or anything else. It's one of the biggest mistakes people make. (Of course you must take your future husband into consideration, but thats it!)

We were happily married in Las Vegas 30 years ago...It worked for us...
Get the legal stuff out of the way, plan the baby next, then later will come the Romantic Cruise part, or maybe a trip to Italy/France/Whereever...
You definetly don't want to go Cruising Pregnant...NOT GOOD...

I've declared today to be "Leave a Comment for Everyone Day." Thanks for sharing!

Michelle, I wish you lots of Gather Earnings, Netwinner luck and more, and I hope your pregnancy and birth goes as planned. I wish you and your husband a wonderful holiday season with lots of love and joy.

Just curious if you figured out what you're going to do yet?

This comment and rating of your older gather content was an idea Steve the Legend had on how to give a Christmas gift to our Gather connections. He posted an article with the suggestion of checking out our connections content from before we were connected. You are the 26th connection I have done this with so far. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, Michelle.