Fake People

"If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle."---Romans 12:8-10 (Message)

"Unscrupulous people fake it a lot; honest people are sure of their steps."---Proverbs 21:29(Message)

"You can't find any true closeness in Hollywoodbecause everybody does fake closeness so well."---Carrie Fisher

"To fake is to stand guard over emptiness."---Arthur Herzog

Whew!  Words cannot express to you how excited I was when God finally gave me the release to address a topic that I didn't feel I needed much rebuking in.  I mean, Shellie Renee' Warren is a lot of things, but fake?  I wouldn't consider that to be one of them.  Blunt?  Yes.  Unedited?  Sure.  Tactless?  At times.  But fake?  Nah.

However, this message isn't to toot my own horn (because being "blunt", "unedited" and "tactless" comes with it's own need for devotionals and discipline) or to totally browbeat those who have mastered the art of being "artificial", "bogus", "counterfeit", "fictitious", "phony" or "simulated".  No, what my prayer time revealed is that this message is actually to serve as an encouragement for those who are "authentic", "genuine", "original" and "real" and a brief tutorial for those who may not have a clue what being fake really is.

Just this week, I was working on the bio of someone whose goal in life is to live free and show other people how they can do the same (Praise God!).  As we were meeting, her four-year-old daughter was running around making light conversation.  When I tell you that it's been years since I have met a child with such a sparkling personality (aside from my surrogate child, Amiya), I mean it.  I mean, this child has no pretense to her whatsoever----and personally, I liked it.  A lot.

As she left the room for the umpteenth time, smiling shyly at me upon every exit, it did my heart good.  I told her mom, "Girl, the older I get the less I care about what adults think about me.  They are so jaded that their discernment is usually pretty off, anyway.  I'm here to tell you that if a child likes you and a dog likes you, you're fine.  But, if one of them attacks when you come into a room that is what you need to be concerned about.  They see things that we don't."

The Bible must agree with me because in Matthew 18:3-4 (AMP) it says:

"Truly I say to you, unless you repent (change, turn about) and become like little children [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving], you can never enter the kingdom of heaven [at all]. Whoever will humble himself therefore and become like this little child [trusting, lowly, loving, forgiving] is greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Ah, so God had a surprise for me.  Although I may not be "unoriginal" or conjure up a "make-believe" version of myself depending on who's around, I must admit that humility is still something that I am learning, however, as I am spending personal prayer and study time, God has been revealing to me the root cause of why it's still somewhat of a struggle to be trusting and forgiving. 

One of my favorite scriptures in the Bible is the Amplified Version of I Timothy 4:16:

"Look well to yourself [to your own personality] and to [your] teaching; persevere in these things [hold to them], for by so doing you will save both yourself and those who hear you."

And yet in the Church this is not something we encourage nearly as much as we should.  I recently heard someone say, "Just because you have four hooves that doesn't mean you have to run with the pack."  I totally agree, but 9 times out of 10, insecure people don't know how to embrace individuality and so when their issues/strongholds rub off on people who do, it can make us loud, rude, and/or rebellious because we feel like we have to fight to be ourselves.  So, before I go on let me say this: If you are a parent, teacher, preacher or mentor, because the Bible says that you will be judged with higher standards (James 3:1), be forewarned:  IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO MAKE SOMEONE BE LIKE YOU OR WHAT YOU WANT JUST SO THAT YOU CAN FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.  IT IS YOUR JOB TO INFLUENCE AND ENCOURAGE THE PEOPLE THAT GOD HAS PLACED INTO YOUR CARE TO BECOME THE BEST THEM THAT THEY CAN BE; NO MORE, NO LESS.

There is a real arrogance and manipulation that comes with people who believe that being like them equates a sense of holiness.  God didn't tell us to be dress like, talk like, think like another person; as a matter of fact, he said that if we are to be his disciple, we are to leave our parents, siblings and spouses (Luke 14:26), take up our cross and follow Christ (Matthew 10:38).  Why?  Because God knows that it's only through serving him that our true purposes can be fulfilled; that his custom-made plan for our lives can unfold (Jeremiah 29:11).  Don't believe me?  Just look at what Luke (6:26---Message) said:

"There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests-look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular."

And yet even though the Bible tells us that the gate to destruction is wide (Matthew 7:13), being "popular", both in and out of the Church, is something that so many of us continuously and obsessively strive for.  We agree with something that the pastor says that we know is downright wrong so that we can stay on his good side.  We take on a position that we know we don't have time for because we don't want anyone to be mad at us.  We smile in the face (and talk behind the backs) of those we don't particularly care for because we have bamboozled ourselves into believing that in doing so, we are being courteous and peaceful (Proverbs 16:28).  We let someone guilt us into not doing something we feel is right because it "doesn't sit well with their opinion".  We cosign onto situations that are totally out of order so that we won't have to look like the bad guy even though the Bible plainly tells us that if because of our conscience we endure grief and suffer wrongly (I Peter 2:19), it is commendable and if we suffer for doing right, we are blessed (I Peter 3:14).

But you can't do this when you are caught up in the wide world of the fake and phony.  So, why do so many people get away with it in their homes, on their jobs, at their churches?  Well, think about this:  I don't know about you, but I've seen some pretty great fake plants in my day. Unless you're a gardener or botanist from far off, or even just few feet away, the plant looks just like the real thing.  It takes actually knowing a real plant when you see it or getting close to a fake one that gives you the ability to know when it's the real deal or not.

And family, that's your first clue.  Fake people often have problems with intimacy.  They will probably tell you that they are "not people persons" or they just prefer to live their lives "very privately" when the truth is that they know that if someone got too close, they would discover who they really are and what they are really made of.  So, like the young widows with nothing to do, they ".... they go about from house to house, they learn to be idlers, and not only idlers, but gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not say and talking of things they should not mention" (I Timothy 5:13---AMP) to take the attention/focus off of them.  Suddenly, everyone is a project that they feel needs fixing and so they elect themselves to be the perfect ones to do it.  After all, misery loves company and when you are uncomfortable with yourself, you often need a line of "like you converts" to cheer you on.

The real danger is that a lot of fake people believe that they genuinely love God and by doing this, they are doing the Lord's work, but don't be deceived (Galatians 6:7).  God says that if you love him, you will keep his commandments (John 14:15) and that means that you cannot live out your life as a liar (Exodus 20:16).  As a matter of fact, what does the New King James Version of Exodus 20:16 say?  YOU ARE NOT TO BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBOR.  In other words, in word or deed, you are not to lead them astray by presenting one version of yourself to some and saying or doing something else at another time; this is the ultimate definition of fake.

Fake: prepare or make (something specious, deceptive, or fraudulent); to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc., usually in order to deceive; to pretend; simulate; anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is; counterfeit; to contrive and present as genuine.

Besides, because God wants to protect the souls of those around you, it will be only a matter of time before the real you comes out anyway:

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."---Luke 6:45(NKJV)

One of the things my mother has always told me was that I have never pulled any punches when speaking my mind.  As an adult, one of the things I told her was that because she and the other adults around me weren't totally sure how to handle it, as someone called to be a truth seeker and speaker, for many years, I ended up being a liar.  John 8:32 says that in knowing the truth we are made free (of course, that's the last thing the Enemy wants) but when you become fearful to tell the truth, oftentimes, you will end up doing just the opposite (a word to the wise for any of you parents out there with truth seeking/speaking children).  Yes, even as children, we need to be taught how to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and use love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, GENTLENESS and SELF-CONTROL (Galatians 5:22-23), but parents are given children to mold into God's character; not change into their own.  God's ways are not our ways (Isaiah 55:8) and so just because you have a child that is not like you, that doesn't mean they are supposed to be.  A wise man once said, "If two people are just alike, one of them is unnecessary."  I just love that!

Anyway, whenever I would get caught in my lies (which I almost always did), my mother would say, "Shellie, the Holy Spirit always tells me when you're lying.  It would be easier on you if you would just tell me the truth and I didn't have to catch you."

The Bible tells us that upon Jesus' return all things in the dark will be brought to light (I Corinthians 4:5), but even now, because man was made in God's image (Genesis 1:26), if we are in relationship with him, we are able to "catch folks" as well; it's called discernment and the Bible says that it gives man the ability to understand time and judgment (Ephesians 8:5-6) and to tap into the spiritual realm (I Corinthians 2:14). 

Because the devil is the father of lies (John 8:44), he can't stand "honest", "truthful" or "real" and he will do anything his power to keep it from entering his kingdom, but just as my mother had the maturity to discern when I was not being honest, please believe that truth seekers (something that God desires all of his children to be, by the way) have this same ability.  There are so many of my friends who have been called, "dramatic", "crazy', "unbelievable" because what you see is what you get and they "call it as they see it", but as I am coming to know more about myself and God is revealing more to me about who they are, and because I know that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities (Ephesians 6:12), and because prophets like Isaiah and Jeremiah we considered "crazy" in their day, I have come to accept that oftentimes it's that far too many people have become comfortable with living lies or presenting facades and (thank God) many people in my world are not like that.  Are they perfect?  LORD NO.  But more times than not, in being honest and real, they are able to face their issues a lot easier and quicker than those I know who are not.  The Enemy wants people to think that it requires real arrogance to be "real", when the truth is that it's a humbling experience to admit where you are in your struggles and not hide them.  The upside?  It's only then that you can be exalted (Luke 14:11).  The Enemy also wants you to believe that withholding your true self is not the same thing as lying.  Oh, but family, it is:

Lie: a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood; something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture.

A real sign that you are a fake?  One is that you are uncomfortable around people who are not, but another is that  you can look down a list of your social circles and pinpoint times when you have deceived or conveyed a false impression.  Boundaries are one thing; deception is something entirely different.  It doesn't matter what kind of liar you are, God hates them all.

What made David the apple of God's eye (Psalm 17:8)?  I personally believe that more than anything, it was his openness and honesty before God.  David wasn't so concerned with what God would think about his wrongs.  He was more focused on how to address his wrongs so that he could make them right.  If we are to grow in God, we must adapt this same philosophy.  We must stop being fake and GET REAL.

So, to all of the "real people" out there, I'm sure God will give me a message on how to be honest and original in a way that pleases him most, but thank God right now for having that gift.  You need no one's permission but his to be who he has called you to be and to live without pretense is a wondrous thing; it's a key to having an abundant life (John 10:10), one without fear.

To everyone else, if you saw yourself even remotely in this devotional, spend some time this weekend asking God to show you how to be honest with yourself and those around you.  It's only when you're willing to face all of who you are, that he can make you all of what he wants you to be.

Anything less is just fakin' it.

©Shellie R. Warren/2007