My recent blog: Things that make you go Hmmm?

Someone shared this email with me about strange things in America and I had to post it on my blog, because it is so true. I hope you enjoy reading them. Also if you think of some too, please send them on your comments.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.


2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.


3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.


4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.


8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.


9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

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10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?


Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?


*Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:


On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair).


On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?


On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( But, it's "just" a suggestion).


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well.... a bit late huh?)


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...nahhh... Really??...)


On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because???....)


On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?)


On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)


On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


If you think this is funny, repost it so someone else can get a laugh

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Now adding my questions to this blog,

Why do we say a "pair of" pants, sunglasses, underware, when we only have one of these items?

Why do we always turn around in the elevator when we first enter?

Why do we press harder on the remote when we think the battery is dead?

( Added by me!) Now for some signs that make you go hmmm?

Things That Make You Go, "Hmmm!"

Now these are questions that make you go hmmmm?

A stitch in time saves nine what? After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? After they make Styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --Steven Wright Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors? Could crop-circles be the work of a cereal killer? Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it? Did Noah keep his bees in archives? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Ever notice how irons have a setting for "permanent" press? I don't get it. --Steven Wright How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? How many weeks are there in a light year? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes? --Dennis Miller If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer? Is a small pig called a hamlet?

Sexual harassment at work-is it a problem for the self-employed? --Victoria Wood Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers? Since there is a speed of light and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell? The Scarecrow got a brain, Tin Man got a heart, Lion got courage, Dorothy got home, what did Toto get? What do penguins wear for play clothes? What do people in China call their good plates? What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep? What do they call coffee breaks at the Lipton Tea Company? What do you call a bedroom with no bed in it? What do you call a male ladybug? What do you call male ballerinas? What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What happens if you get scared half to death, ...twice? --Steven Wright If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it? If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

I hope you have a fun filled day with many blessings. Don't forget to help a person in need, love someone and love yourself.

Char