Counting My Blessings
There was a time I felt hopeless and wished I were dead. I couldn’t see any likelihood of any happy endings for me. I tried suicide, but was even a failure at that, probably because a glimmer of hope always lurked way back in my mind.
I am a country girl who, as a child, lived too far out in the country to have even one playmate. My sister was older, much smarter, interested in different things than I was, and most importantly she was ill with diabetes. We did not seek out each other's company.
What made me happy was to always have a close relation with nature and animals. I have always loved all kinds of animals, although I steer clear of bears. They scare me. I even like bugs and reptiles, except for cockroaches and deadly reptiles. I have toleration for rattlesnakes, and seem to have an understanding with them. I love the outdoors and most of its creatures. My soul withers without time to be alone in nature.
Nature is at its best in Maine. I have loved Maine since the time my family used to camp there when I was growing up. We camped at York Beach, and at Moosehead Lake in the north, and often visited an aunt and uncle and our two small girl cousins on their farm as we drove from the beach to the lake.
I especially like the people in Maine. I have always found that they are kind and forgiving. Sixty-four years ago I threw my fate in with a navy guy, and we traveled, living only 2 years at a time in any one place. After living in other states, I came to feel that Maine is to New England what California is the nation. It is beautiful,s but is also kind and forgiving. It will always give you another chance.
I have ended up a financial disaster, but my spirit is mostly at peace because I live close to nature. My bed is high, and when I don't feel like getting up in the morning, I can pull back the curtains, and watch big birds ride the thermals over nearby mountains. I sometimes see coyotes standing, almost invisible, in the chaparral as they study the possibility of catching one of my cats for dinner. My dog sees them too, and drives them away. With a turn of my head I can see the sunrise, and in the evening I can also see colors of the sunset reflected on passing clouds. I feel strength from the ancient oaks around me, and from the huge rocks in fantastic shapes that intrude on the skyline. I am charmed and delighted as I watch Indian children in the arena across the arroyo learning to ride horses and rope calves. I can't talk to them because they speak only Spanish and Kumeyaay, their native tongue, but when I am outside as they ride by, they wave to me. I feel enormous comfort from the affection I get from my big dog, Smokey Joe, and from each one of my 12 cats, who each have a distinct personality.
I have no money to spare, and few luxuries, but I truly feel extremely thankful for my blessings. From the point of view of the 10-year-old child I once was, I think I am living in Paradise.
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Comments: 28
Thanks for sharing!
Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity. Let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count a half a dozen, and keep your accounts on your thumbnail.
You have done that dear girl and your reward has been a long life where from your bed you can see, hear, and feel more then anyone living in the cities. Enjoy!
I have been so much happier since I've been disabled and poor. I stopped expecting so much of myself and learned to enjoy each day as it comes, seeing the beauty in the simple things of nature and animals. I watch out my office window as leaves prepare for autumn. The cycle of life is a comforting thing, like a clock ticking in the silence. What wonderful pals our pets are to us. I'm never alone when Chloe is here with me.
Thank you again.
You have a few kindred spirits my friend. I have always found peace and comfort in the bush and the animals. I also have my places I like to return to and feel a part of. It's a wonder I even married such is my need for solitude, at times. I lived way up the Shoalhaven River on my own in a humpy for eight years, and was never more at peace in my life. I love your appreciation for life and nature Ruth and you have the wonderful ability, to share your appreciation and understanding with us. I visited Campo yesterday , I found Google Earth on the computer and tried to pinpoint where you are ,via satellite, pretty impressive eh. Anyway I'm not sure but going on your descriptions over some time, I may have zoomed into your camp. There was a light coloured pick up truck between two of the trailers, and I could even distinguish some kennels at the back of one of them. There are only a few photos of the Museum and the landscape available on Google Earth . But I could get a very clear picture of the vast and beautiful place you live. I hope you and Jane are well Ruth, Karen and Tallara send their love, and so do I , take care.
Darcey.
Darcey - What is a humpy? It sounds like it might be my kind of dwelling, one that doesn't disturb the earth around it much. But I'm a hypocrite, because I have two sheds of stuff outside my trailer. One is pet food but the other is largely stuff I haven't been able to get rid of. I'm working on it.
Did you really live alone for eight years? You probably figured out the answers to all the mysteries of life in that time, and now you can express them in poetry. You surely have become important to a lot of people here at Gather, but none more so than to me. Love to Kaz and Talera and to you.
PS. I don't live in Campo, I used to live there but moved 17 miles east to Boulevard right after Donald died. Campo feels more like home than Boulevard, because I got to know so many people there when I took care of the Stone Store Museum for seven years. They seemed like friends, but 'they never call, they never visit' ---. I'm glad they don't visit, because I live in this old trailer, and most of them have 'property' and live in lovely homes. I'm sure they don't understand why I am satisfied here and have so many cats. Oh well, I just don't care that much what people think of me any more. It's their problem.
You are right my friend a Humpy is just a shack made from the fallen bush logs and perhaps a few sheets of tin for the roof. My Humpy was virtually on the river bank in a beautiful place with crystal clear running water, at the base of a mountian, there was a plentiful supply of fresh water fish like Golden Pearch and Bass, I was only sixty miles from a town, and would go in for supplies every few months. I was only working weekends or a few days at a time , helping a guy build what is now a popular holiday
resort for fisherman on the Shoalhaven River. The rest of my time was spent living rent free, in my bush paridise. I guess there was a lot of reflection over those years my friend, and I don't think I could describe how close I felt to nature. I hope you are well Ruth, Take care.
Darcey.
Cheryl - Yeah! Lets start a new fad - shaggy legs.
Thanks Lynn,
The coyotes have been giving us a serenade every night this week, They were quiet last weekend after someone shot at them several times. We had quite a few horse campers with their dogs that frightened them away as well.
I don't know where Darcey is. He does go and come though some. Maybe he's had to go out of town and see about something. Maybe he's visiting some of his children and camping out. Wouldn't that be a hoot? I sure wish he'd hurry up and come back though. I've been watching for a new posting by him.
Donna Marie - You are so right! Sometimes I think I'm expressing sour grapes, but that is how I really feel.