What You See, I Don't See...

I'm an artist and photographer. You would think that color would be no problem for me. Thinking that you would be wrong.

You see I don't see color the same way you do. I'm partially colorblind. Being partially colorblind means I don't see the pastel colors the way you see them. To me most are the same color just different shades of lighter and darker of the same color. Even placed side by side there is no difference to me, it is more like I'm seeing shades of grey. Have you ever taken that color test where they show you the bubbles of color and supposedly there is a number within there some where? Well, to me I see no number just bubbles of color, mostly a grey color.

It is frustrating to not see the soft shades of color you see. I know what I'm missing because like a blind man I've been told what is there within say a sunset. The pinks (don't see them), the different shades of red (see red not the shades I'm told are there), oranges etc. I see the darker, stronger shades of the colors just not the pastel colors. Not the ones which add so much to the whole picture of what you see.

If you look at my art and photos sometimes you will see an over exaduration of the basic colors. If it is vibrant I see it better, the color that is. Mostly I take a photo by composition. Guess  that is why my black and white photos had very good composition all those years back when I first started taking photos.

In one of my latest posted photos of a Canna Leaf some made a comment about the red edge to the leaf. I didn't see nor do I see the red edge you are talking about. The bright green of the leaf yes, that I see. The browns, the greens, those I see in the photo, just don't see that red edge you tell me is there. What I see when I'm taking a photo is composition most of the time. Most of the photos you see that I post are not cropped. What you see is what I saw and cropped within the lenses of my camera.

Yes, I see color. The basic colors mostly are what I see when I look at a flower or plant. I just don't see the suttle colors you see. I wish I did because I know what I'm missing.

I have a friend who is blind. He wasn't always blind. Up until about sixteen or so years back he could see. Never all that well, but he could see. He wore glasses so thick in his last years of seeing they looked like coke bottle lenses. He has retinitis pigmentosa which over the years means you loose your eyesight. The retina degenerates until you finally loose what sight you once had. I drove for him, he and his wife took me in when I was without a home. I also described to him what I saw. Being an artist and photographer I gave him a description that he could relate to what he had once been able to see. I heard him some days in his office being frustrated with not being able to see his computer screen and having to use software which talked to him about what he was writing on the screen. I also fixed his computer many times when it would loose its voice or he would do something to it which it didn't like.

I too almost lost my eyesight this last December when my blood sugar went so very high. I didn't realize until I was in the van with my next to the oldest son and grandson the day after Christmas that I couldn't read the letters on billboards on the side of the roadway. Those huge signs were nothing but a total blurr to me. Even with my glasses I couldn't read them or even see the huge letters printed on them. I didn't know at the time my blood sugar was so high. It took begining taken by friends to the emergency room to find out that my glucose count was 1047, normal is 80-120. It took nealy three months after I got out of the hospital before my eyesight began to clear up enough that I could use my glasses to read again, only the reading portion of my bifocals not the top distant vision part.

 I'm a visual person, I was afraid I would never see well enough again to be an artist or photographer. I still need to go into see an optometrist but haven't had the money for that yet. I know how prescious being able to see is.

So when you look at my photography remember I don't see the same as you do. I see less colors than you see. I wish I could see the colors I can't. Just as my friend envied me the ability to describe to him what I was seeing. I too am blind in my own way. I love looking at flowers and their beautiful colors even knowing I'm not seeing all of the colors. I love the colorful sunsets even though I can't see the suttle colors you see.

I've had people say to me that they envy me the ability to take photos like I do. I envy their ability to see what I can't see. I see enough though to know what I am missing. So please enjoy my photos and art and know I too envy your abilities.