I beat the odds. By some stroke of good fortune, and after many sleepless nights of worry and continuous applications of Eucerin™ Dry Skin Therapy, I survived the date on which my granddaughter predicted my wrinkled knees would claim my life.
Living is good, at least for now, and especially compared to the alternative.
At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I must admit that not all of me was so lucky. Tonight, I mourn the loss of a significant piece of me.
My You’ve come a long way baby tee shirt and I have been together longer than I was with either husband or in any relationship, and came before (chronologically, not emotionally) my children. It has run a good race with the orange electric skillet to see which of my 70’s keepsakes could hang on the longest, but finally conceded tonight.
I opened the door to take out the trash and my daughter stopped me with, “Mother, your shirt has no back and the holes on the front are in some inconvenient places. Please don’t scare the neighbors.” She took out the trash while I went for the tissues.
It is past bath and pajama time and I still am not ready to part with my shirt. I have considered wearing it until my knees have their way with me since it would be the perfect burial attire. My daughter predicts the shirt will disintegrate first.
As I watch my daughter celebrate the loss of my shirt (she only thinks she is hiding the glee. I recognize her smirk as the same one she wore when my yellow baby-doll shoes disappeared), I can’t help but wonder how she would have reacted if the wrinkles had done me in.
Since I get so little respect at home, I hope my Gather friends will help me mourn the loss of my favorite shirt.
What will I wear with the purples shorts now?
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Comments: 49
I'm hoping my kids don't read this and get any smartass ideas.
You just can't throw it AWAY! A shirt that has outlasted husbands has historical significance.
I'm glad to hear the wrinkles haven't been the death of you yet.
They so owe me a new Coach purse.
I think I had, at one time, the same shirt you're parting with. It was a freebie from one of the cigarette companys wasn't it?
Of course, now I have this mental picture of where the holes were... Hmmm...
"When Joseph's favorite overcoat gets old and worn, he makes a jacket out of it. When the jacket is more patches than jacket, Joseph turns it into a vest. When the vest's number is up, Joseph makes a scarf. This thrifty industry continues until there's nothing left of the original garment. But clever Joseph manages to make something out of nothing! (And that's the foreshadowed moral of the story.)
In today's throwaway world, Joseph's old-fashioned frugality is a welcome change. Based on a Yiddish song from Simms Taback's youth (lyrics and music reproduced on the last page), the book is filled with rhythms and arresting colors that will delight every reader. As more and more holes appear in Joseph's coat, die-cut holes appear on the pages, hinting at each next manifestation. The illustrations are striking, created with gouache, watercolor, collage, pencil, and ink. Every inch of space is crammed with fanciful, funny details, such as the headline on a discarded newspaper: "Fiddler on Roof Falls off Roof." Taback, esteemed creator of the Caldecott Honor-winning There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly and the classic Too Much Noise, has produced a picture book that is as well turned out as its dapper hero."
So here's to a good shirt that came a long way with you. Although it may longer occupy a place in your drawer, it will forever occupy a place in your heart!
Thank you so much for comforting me and offering such wonderful advice. I am considering several of the suggestions. Tonight, I think I might sew in a silk linking. I could attach it with a crazy quilt stitch, securing most of the remaining threads. I had a different vision last night, and might change again tomorrow. All I know is that you have given me hope, and I love you for it.
You have also made me feel normal with your stories about attachments to clothing items. And, now that you've helped me over this hump, I might not fall apart in a week or so when this eighteen-year-old night shirt . . . I can't say it. I added a second picture that should tell the story for me.
(kM, who told you about that tie-across-the chest top? Did she also tell you I wore it to see Count Basie and Ella Fitzgerald?)
Kate, I have a collection of jeans like that. That's one habit I won't have to worry about any more, though, since I'm only buying comfortable clothes with elastic waists now.
*sigh* I remember my old - "Be Alert... the world needs more Lerts" T-shirt I miss it more than my ex husband...no wait I miss Cheetos more than him...I miss it more than my wiast...errr...I miss it, but I've moved on. Best wishes on your journey.
I like the Lert shirt caption. I don't remember seeing that. I would have wanted it if I had.
Do you still have that orange electric skillet? I knowsome one, ok me, with an orange electric wok.
I am not going to mention my own stash of thin ragged t-shirts. I keep telling the children I mignt need them to wear while painting something.
Painting is a great excuse for hanging on to old clothes. Most of mine have paint blotches, to justify their existence.
Thanks for the try. It made me smile.