Self Esteem

Do you feel like you are the worse person who walked the face of this earth? Do you feel like you have and continue to mess up your life?  Do you feel like a fake or a phoney? Do you feel like you have to put on a mask because people could never like the real you?

Maybe you have low self esteem. Many of us have it. Usually it begins in childhood. You were expected to be perfect, not make mistakes and you were expected to know things you didn't. Your parents may have set you up for low self esteem. You may have found this path on your own.

Do you feel everyone else gets the breaks? Do you feel you are ugly because you have a big nose or your teeth aren't straight or your hair is not the way you want it to be?  Do you feel you came from the wrong side of the track? Or your life would have been better with different parents, or if you came from money?

You need to love you for you. Everyone has something other people pick on. That is their problem, not yours. They are making you feel bad because it makes them feel like they have power because they can say things to hurt other people. Consider the source.  When I was 13, I thought I was beautiful and looked in the mirror in the bathroom.  My sister noticed and told me only vain people looked in the mirror. I didn't want to be vain so I stopped and to this day I have a hard time looking at myself. I have a habit now if I see my self in the mirror I make a face at myself and laugh. What I didn't know was my parents told her I was the pretty one and she wasn't, she needed to make it with her brain. I am sure that was devasting to hear and of course she took it out on me.  I was told I was the stupid one, and I believed it as a child, I always thought my stupidity would kill me.  It didn't and I am not stupid.

But see this hurt my sister and my self esteem. My parents thought my sister was smarter than me so they thought I couldn't do things she had trouble with. My parents probably believed my sister didn't have beauty like I did but  beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she never had difficulty with dating boys. 

My point is examine what you think about yourself and where it came from. Challenge it, it is really true? Could it be that your lack of confidence because of your low esteem is causing it?  Turn off the tapes of your childhood. Play songs that will pump you up, Like I am woman, hear me roar, that will make you feel full of power and control over your life. If you are not confident, you will not try and you will fail because you failed you.  Anything is worth going after and you never know until you try.

No one is perfect, we all have our flaws. If you think you look mousy, go to a beauty parlor and see if there is a new haircut that will give you more flair. If your glasses make you look like an old librarian, change your style of glasses or get contacts. Entertain new styles of clothing. A few dollars getting a new look can make you feel like a million bucks and it far cheaper in the long run than therapy.

Many times love and happiness and success are not going to come knocking at your door. You need to go out and find it and have the confidence you are worth it. Tell yourself what a great person you are and how you love you. It sounds funny but over time you start believing it. If you have things you like, go do it, you may find friends that like the same things. For instance, if you like playing scrabble see what is available in your area, there are scrabble tournaments for instance. If you like to bowl, get out there and join a league. Do things you like to do and you will find others who like it too! 

The more involved you get in life, the more friends you have the better you will feel about yourself. You can change things you don't like but don't get addicted to plastic surgery, those who do that need  therapy to find out why they are unhappy with themselves. Many times people get a nose job think their lives improve from the operation and looking more attractive, but it is more the change inside that they feel more attractive and more like the rest of us.

I am heavy, but I do get hit on. Hard to believe? I am friendly and open and people say I look cuddly. I am happily married so I'm not looking to be hit on, but the point is I don't sit home because people are going to reject me for my fat. If they do, that is their problem. I don't want what others think to rule my life. I am who I am and right now I am heavy and that doesn't meant I can't have a life. I have a good personality and that is why I think I get hit on. I almost fell off my chair when at a pool a young nice looking fellow hit on me, I don't think he realized I was old enough to be his mother. But my point is, if you don't let yourself limit you, you never know, if you have the confidence and self esteem to get out there, who you might meet and how your life can change.