Teen Parents...Your Thoughts?

Such a paradox, taking responsibility yet leaving school to do so. I think the younger parents get, the worse off it becomes for future generations. Not trying to generalize about today's youth either. Kudos to you as a teacher though because teachers can have great impact on the lives of youth.

I think it's SAD when a teen becomes a parent!

I think finding a teen mom so dedicated to her child should be applauded, but i can see the rationalization that this is not how real life works. I think there could be some kind of compromise, on site daycare so mom can visit on lunch etc, or even a 1/2 and 1/2 deal.

On one hand I agree with the school system. Being one who is in the youth worker field, I understand the need to impress upon students personal responsibility rather than reliance upon assistance or a system. However, sometimes there are legitimate reasons a parent needs to and should stay home with the child.

Something that someone in her situation can explore as an option is alternative high school. while this option is still taboo among educators and teens alike, it is because of individuals and situations like you propose above that alt. high schools were created and still exist. In many metro areas (and some rural) there are alt. education routes that provide these teen parents with the ability to get their education, as well as parenting assistance and parenting and financial classes.

A good place to start looking for this is to your local youth foster care representative office. This is because often times they have a wealth of resources within the region to help in many arena's of a teens life that many other organizations aren't connected to or aware of. Many of these programs are accredited and are not exclusive to foster care students.

Anyways, I wish there was more I could do to help! great article.

This is really just personal observation but from what I've seen many of the young men and women who become parents at such a young age is that they seem to be people who didn't get much love. They think a baby will magically supply that love as will their partner. But babies can cause stress as well as bring people together. It isn't fun and games but real life, with all the work that goes along with it, from diapering to paying for baby items, doctors' visits -all while trying to juggle home and work and maybe even school.

I think babies are wonderful but I also know, as the parent of three, that they are hard work and that parents have to be prepared to GIVE far more than to receive in that first year - feeding, diapering, nurturing. Our first child was a shock to me, not because he was unplanned (he was VERY planned) but because my beliefs about having a baby - and the realty - were different. I adjusted but I had the benefit of supportive parents, an understanding husband and financial security. I also wanted that baby, deeply. How many teens are in the same position? How many are prepared for the realities?

The reward of the hard work and sometimes sleepless nights is a happy, healthy baby and that is fulfilling but many young parents are not ready for the responsibility (some, amazingly, are).

There are also the financial realities. Little babies may be able to sleep in small bed but they grow quickly and they need clothes, food and someone to care for them. How do young parents work and afford day care? Are THEIR parents always willing to help out?

All too often, many young parents realize that taking care of the baby is hard work and that it lasts for many years.

I think its sad when help isn't extended to these young parents do the math I'm 54 my son is 37 almost 38. My son is very sucessfull. Turned out very well thank you and at the age of 40 I took my GED all at once without study and passed in the 90 percentile as compared to that years graduating class of High school seniors. Just thing what I could have done if given better choices.

I was a teen mother. I had my daughter when I had just turned 17. Even though it was stressful, my home life was so bad that having a baby was the best thing that I ever did. I truly believe that having my daughter saved my life. I believe that I would most likely have taken my own life if not for her. So, on one hand, I know how hard being a teenage mother can be but on the other hand, for me, it was the best thing that could have pulled me outside of myself. I quit school but went back in my twenties, got the GED, got the AA degree, then later was working on my BA when that plan got derailed.

While I applaud her for trying to stay in school, I think that it is time that she does step into the real world.

If I understand you right, she was in a program at home?? I think that it would be great for all young parents to be able to do this, but come on. I don't want to judge either, but she has to be an adult now and she can't expect the world to give her a brake for this. Many parents would love to be able to stay home with their children, but most can't.

I am all for providing some sort of day care while they are in school. I know that the community college and Cal Poly here, have programs like that.

Its very hard being a teen parent, but the sad thing is that isn't realized by the teen until it happens. Several of my classmates had children before they graduated. Some were "good kids" who made a mistake, and others, well its a surprize they didn't have eight kids by the time we graduated.
Not all teen parents are stupid and hoes to put it bluntly, my best friend in high school's little sister had her baby last year. . . and graduated valedictorian. .. the whole time she had teachers telling her to drop out and that she wasn't good enough to accomplish this.
Some teen mothers are irresponsible but there are still some that make better parents than 'acceptable aged' mothers.

What are the homeschooling laws in your state? If she is determined to stay home and the school district will not offer assistance that might be better than nothing. There are online programs that she can take.

My sister had her first child at 17. She now has a Phd in Education. It is possible to be successful even though the circumstances are less than ideal.

With all the ways (and education) on how to prevent unwanted pregnancies, these children having children really need to stay in school and recieve an education...as long as they pay attention. Obviously, they didn't in sex education or health class. The only way they're going to get ahead is to get educated so they can get a decent job to provide for their babies...so the rest of us don't have to. Unfortunately, you can't tell some of these kids anything because they think they know it all, especially now that they're an 'adult' with a child of their own. She'll be kicking herself down the road when she finally comes to the realization she made a mistake by dropping out...and it may be too late then to do anything about it. Hopefully, she'll smarten up before she chooses wrong. All I can say is she made her bed and had fun in it...now she'll have to lay in it, too.

As the variety of answers here show, some teen mothers are very responsible and others are not. Every day I open the newspaper and read of some young woman who leaves her children in the car while she is at work because she can't afford a babysitter, stressed out and trying to get from day to day. Some live in motels by the week and others turn to drugs. Parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world, in my opinion, and having a baby can make or break a person.

I know it feels hard for her but I think she should stay in school or it will be harder the more time that is wasted.Hope she will change her mind.

The fact is by dropping out she is not taking her responsibility. She is letting her child down for the sake of sitting at home. There are too many teen parents who realize that to do the best thing for their child, they have to finish their education. They will accept the help that is offered by the govt officials, and find a reliable child care, and get through school. That is the only way she is going to be able to earn enough to take care of the child and take responsibility for her actions.

though mys on is only 4 but I was going through your article....can see so many good lessons for my future...

My immediate thought, too, was homeschooling. Yes, it isn't the same as high school, but if she finishes her education AND gets adequate time with the baby, it's a win-win. As someone who STILL doesn't like being away from her child (and I'm almost forty and he's almost ten), I can understand a young mother having misgivings about spending so much time away from the child, and (worse yet) attempting to pay for daycare... I mean, okay, so does this mean she works full-time to pay for daycare, goes to school full-time, etc.? What time does she then spend with her baby?

I can see her wanting to stay with her child but hardly anyone gets that luxury. Second most school districts can not afford tutoring that much and in my opinion she should not get special treatment as it will set an example for other students that if they have a child they would get to stay home with theirs as well. In my opinion and many would not agree with it is that she is the one that made the choice to have sex and have the baby. She should not get special treatment because she made that choice there are millions of teen mothers out there who are in worse situations then what she is in.

When will the babying and the concessions stop? Once upon a time if you had a child out of wedlock and didn't finish school you were screwed (pardon the pun) and that was it. Too bad. Now it seems that schools, parents, etc. are going WAAAAY out of their way to help someone who made a bad decision and aren't taking responsibility for having done so. I had a child younger than I would have liked (though I was 20 and not 18) and had to put off school. Now I'm back in - and I'm taking it VERY seriously and will probably do better than when I was younger. The easier they make it to deal with bad choices, the more people will continue to make them.

I had my first son, when I was in college, and although it is not the same as having a child while in high school, I do know one thing for sure. This girl needs to get her education, one way or another. The worst case scenario, really is if she drops out.

I managed to stay in school, but only because I could take online classes, evening classes, weekend classes, and because I had a mother-in-law, who could watch my son a few hours once or twice during the week, when I had to take morning classes.

If this girl does not have the support system, and there is no other solution, she really does need to stay in school. Yes, it is not nice to have to leave your child, but she needs to get that high school degree.

I really hope she changes her mind, for her own and for her child's sake.

Well... I'm a teen mommy, but that's not why I had to leave school. Many rumors have went around that I dropped out, but the truth is, I told my father I couldn't handle the sensory aspects of school and being in a regular classroom with no special education support. I told him how being diagnosed with a label -- you will have to live with, within the school district will automatically believe what they want and judge you for the rest of your childhood. I told my father my emotional rollercoaster that I was tired of school, and didn't see a point in going to school anymore and that school was interesting, but I felt like no teacher listened to me. I told him how I needed more one-on-one help and support and that the school was in no way going to offer this for me, since they saw me as trouble. I told him how this makes me feel unwanted, unappreciated and suicidal and how I wished to just take one of his guns to my head and get it all over with. I told him that I could take pills or kill myself in any form, and if I had to go to school--that would be the option or route I'd take in the end from being forced to do something so uncomfortable for me. So, he said, "Well, if I go with your decision on homeschooling, how will I know you will do it?" I got angry, "What would I do that? Why is it that no one has faith in me?" I continue, "Well, fine, I'll drop out and not take online classes and do nothing like you're already saying I will do. Why don't you enroll me, see me do my work and then put me back in school if I don't do my work? How about that? I promise I'll do my work. I promise. Why would I have goals to be a special education teacher and understand students like me with Autism if I wanted to drop out? I don't. I want to go to college, dad. YOu just don't understand." Okay..so,my dad listened to me and I took online classes as a state registed homeschool student. I did all my classes on my own except for reading and science. I had an online teacher help me daily on science and I offered her money, but she told my dad and I no, and then reading, my dad paid 60 an hour for an unlicensed teacher, but a lady that loved to write and was great at comprehending. I only needed the tutor for a month and it cost 240$ for that month. My dad wanted to hire teachers, but none volunteered in the area, since that got upset and said, "Send her to public school..that's what she needs." So, anyway, I did my lessons..got a 3.2 gpa for HS (still not satisfied, I want a 4.0) and then went to VU (www.vinu.edu), a university, got accepted, all that and did great, but then I had to drop out due to personal problems. So then I'm about to go back to college (which will be hard), since I Was 18 and just turned 19 in June and I'm now 5 mo pregnant and expecting. I've been emotional over the pregnancy, but I have lots of supports in place and I have jobs lined up and the education for a job and my boyfriend plans on doing his fatherly stuff and is in the picture--so that's another good. So once again, I'm thinking about taking online classes for an associate degree in eduation...:) The HS I went to--- most colleges accept.. Pennfoster.com. It's great and if the girl ever needs help, she can always email me about her lessons. :) I promise its legit and if you want, I can take pictures of my diploma and everything. They have a monthly payment thing which helps too and then all lessons are multiple choice which helps if you're a slow learner.

Good luck with that!