Five Suggestions to Managing a Child's Behavior by Michelle C.
(Inspiration to write this article: psychology/education courses I've taken, a child on the way and my own childhood).
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Be consistent - If a child asks for something and you say "No," be consistent. Do not give in. If you give in once, a child or teenager is prone to manipulating you. It also gives them the message that your word means nothing. It can eventually lead to a temper tantrum and other unwanted behaviors.
Parents are role models - Children starting at infancy start emulating what they see. Parents are the people children both admire and see the most, whatever behavior they do, the child will most likely do.
If you yell, scream, throw things, your child or teenager are more prone to doing the same. Ask yourself the question: "Am I setting a good example?" Parents make mistakes. I'm not asking you to be perfect. Just try your best.
It may be hard at times, being a good role model, setting the right example spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, but you have to be consistent on being a good role model. Keep in mind, being a good role model isn't the same as being a child's friend.
Set boundaries - Parents often want their children to be happy and to like them, which can lead to a loosey goosey atmosphere. However, children actually crave and thrive on structure and boundaries. Establish routines and teach respect and responsibility. Kids want to know what is expected of them and they will try to meet those expectations. When they don't, have some clear consequences and then have them reflect on their behavior. What this creates is mutual respect.
Open communication - Open communication works best when there is no judgment involved and it involves both talking and active listening. As a parent, its our job to make sure our child's needs are met, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Having open communication enables a child's behavior to improve. A lack of communication leads to more frustrations and stresses in life which can trigger negative behavior. Open communication also helps when a child has a problem, disagrees and would like to state his/her opinion. It's not a route to argue. It is an opportunity for the child to know someone is there to listen, if needed.
Positive reinforcement - Make sure you have positive reinforcements in place. As a parent, we do not like to be put on the spot about everything we do wrong, nor does a child. A child needs constant reinforcement for positive doings and guided when not doing so well.
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Conclusion:
Parenting is the hardest job to do and we will make mistakes. The bottom line though is making it clear to your child that you love him/her and that your responsibility is to protect him/her. Often this means making tough decisions that he/she might not like. When you model good behavior, communicate openly, set boundaries, give positive reinforcements and be consistent, then your child will know that he/she is loved and will manage his/her own behavior.
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Comments: 10
Thanks for putting the thought and effort into this.
These are all agreeable
Yes, Mitch, its very hard. Just do your best. That's all we can do! ;)
Sincerely,
Michelle
+10 for the well-written, concise, and informative article.