A naval command instructor was indoctrinating his new naval command recruits.
He said, "You are all in the Navy now and in the US Navy we have our own language. For instance, in the Navy we don't call it a bathroom; we don't call it a toilet; we don't call it a latrine."
A young Naval Command recruit raised his hand and asked, "What do you call it?"
"Son, we call it a 'head'. Now tell me son, what is the difference between a 'head' and a 'hole in the ground'?"
The naval recruit said, "Well, I don't know."
The naval command Instructor said, "Son, how do you expect to command a US Naval ship if you don't know your head from a hole in the ground?"
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A soldier and a sailor were standing side by side at the urinal. The soldier zipped up and turned to the sink to wash his hands. The sailor buttoned up and headed for the door. The soldier scolded, "In the Army we learn how to wash our hands after we take a leak". The sailor replied, "In the Navy we learn how not to piss on our hands."