Ok, I have NEVER posted anything about my personal life on the internet before, but I am at the end of my rope here and need to vent and hopefully get some advice from people who are not at all involved in the situation.
So here goes... I am a single mother of two teenage daughter (as many of you know), but what none of you know is that my oldest daughter is bipolar with an eating disorder. She has been in the hospital for her eating disorder or complications from her eating disorder 4 times this year. The mental heath portion of her health insurance maxed out by mid April. Fortuantly I have a great career and am in a positin to afford the extra expenses (we just had to cancel the 2 vacations we had planed)
My biggest problems I have is :
1) I feel like a terrible mom I work about 60 hrs a week to keep up with the expenses (including designer clothes, so really noone is suffering on that side) I just feel like I should be home more for the kids. My mom has recently retired so she has been doing a lot of things with them while I work which helps ease the guilt, but still...I'm the mom.... which brings us to ......
2) if that dumb SOB who fathered my childeren whould pay child support or at least help pay for medical expenses ...even some of the MANY prescriptions that she takes maybe I wouldn't have to work so damm hard!!!!!I do feel that I should explain in his defense that back in 1995 I signed a release that wavied my right to child suppoert (I made more money than him, all I cared about was that he "be there" for the girls. Alot has changed since then, he used to help with medical expenses, school clothes things like that. He is no longer able to help me financially at all because his wife does not work and her two kids from a previous marriage also want expensive things that he must pay for(did I mention that his wife's EX husband does in fact pay child support). I try very hard not to be the "bitter Ex wife, but damm.... I work 60 hrs a week and she takes her DOG to get highlights in it's hair" oh, did I mention...I nolonger make more money than he does.... that is not to say he is not involved in the lives of my daughters, he takes my oldest to most of her doctor appointments (sometimes that is as many as 2 or 3 a week) and he sees them every day (at his mother's house, my children do not feel welcome in his home) but a good example is that my daughter was sucidal not long ago (I was at work) so she called her dad to talk through her feelings, he told her he had to go because his step daughter had broken her cell phone and he had to go by a new one....WTF!!!!!! how is that more important than HIS daughter's life???? fortuantly I work for a great group of doctors who understand the situation with my daughter and she came up to the office and hung out while I was seeing patients, but DAMM!!!!!
the biggest thing is the kids worship their dad and think he can do no wrong, and I will not say or do anything to make him look bad in their eyes ( I just won't ...it goes against everything I beleive in to turn a kid against a parent) He knows that I won't do anything to cause a problem, he knows I will not file for child support(the kids have asked me not to because he told them he can't afford it and would end up in jail and it would be my fault)he knows I will continue to work my butt off to provided for all they need. but at what point should I say enough is enough and put my foot down? It's not like my kids are little, they are 14 and 16 and I feel like it's time he stepped up to the plate a little. Is it wrong to say I need financial help from him, even though in the divorced I told the judge I didn't need it(remember that was 12 yrs ago)? Can I even do that? even if I didn't ask for child support shouldn't he have to help with the medical bills?
Am I just feeling sorry for my self or do I have a valid complaint?