Mean People - What do you do?

I walk away

SMILE!!! Nothing can irritate them more than when they're all pissed and your standing there smiling at them!!! Works like a charm

Unfortuneatly I am related to a mean person. I love this person very much and I am not sure how to confront her as I am worried what her reaction might be. So I am usually silent and my cousin, her daughter, will usually interrupt at my defense and say loudly and forcefully, "Ma!" and that quiets her and then she carries on like nothing happened which is very odd. If it is a larger family gathering than it is much more easier to walk away.

If I have to deal with them, sarcasm usually comes to mind. However, if I don't really have to deal with them, as in I can easily ignore them, then I just let them be. If I see them hurt someone or if they hurt one of my loved ones, then they'd better watch out because I will confront.

I ignore them, I don't have time for out and out meanness...

I try to ignore them but sometimes you just can't help but react back with words

I would never confront
This is how I handle things:
Understand that we really are doing the best we can with ourselves in the moment, and not absorb their blame—we can see that their need to judge us comes from inside themselves, from issues that they are trying to face in their own lives—from projection. It does not mean that we are not in fact doing whatever it is they are complaining about! What it means is that the manner of their complaining—their accusatory tones, sarcasm, and aggression are neither ours, nor are they the result of our behaviors. Nothing we have done deserves to be met with a judgmental attack; however, we do not have to demand and try to force others treat us as we deserve. That is simply returning their judgment, throwing their projections back in their faces. Instead, we can treat them as we would like to be treated. When someone attacks us, we can put ourselves in that person's place at that very moment, and ask how we would like to be received if we were angry or upset with him or her.

... have tried everyway possible ... all of the above ... and then a few more!

Personally, the one that works the best is ... understanding.

When we understand that that could really be ME ... or YOU ... it makes me less confrontational & more apt to approach with a 'care' attitude. Many many people, desire attention. Plain & simple. Mean people are hurt people. Do they always get the response they deserve. I doubt it.

I must learn to forsake the 'defensive' posture & take it from the point view that will really help without condoning the meaness portrayed. Does it always work ... ??? ...
better & better is all I can say.

It really depends on if it is someone I know or just someone I run into. If it is a stranger I will not have to see again, I ignore them. If it is someone I have to see on a regular basis, I may say something.

If I don't feel as if I can react with kindness and respect. I don't reply at all.

I ignor them and walk away. As long as they don't try to attack me physically.

I have tried all three on here Karen, and the ones being rude, obnoxious and rude, do not seem to get it, so I do whatever I feel, but usually ignoring takes the wind out of their sails.

My first try is nice, second try is the way you said you handle things. Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on me.

Like Donna, I walk away. I will not tolerate any more mean people in my life like I did earlier in my life!! And I stay away from mean people as much as possibl;e!

I tend to ignore them. Unless they are directing their meaness at someone I love then I attack. I have bad tigress tendencies as well, hurt one of my cubs and you'd better watch my claws.

I go for the "kill them with kindness" approach, I have found nothing makes a mean person more annoyed than telling them thank you and you appreciate them.
I love to see that gleam of annoyance in their eyes hehe

I don't think there is really much you can do. Just do what makes you feel better.

Kill them with kindness! Work's every time.

I try to avoid conflict, I don't handle well.

Kill them with kindness! I think that most people who are being mean are not doing it intentionally.

i grew up with hatred and meaness toward me,,i chose to ignore them with the help of my sister,, she told me that giving up, only make you lower then them.. I never saw myself that low,, so I proud of myself for that effort...

I usually say something like "funny I dont remember being mean/rude to you." It as always stoped them in there tracks.................so far.

I like "Well! That was rude!"

I find that sarcasm works wonders. Making mean people feel stupid shuts them up very quickly.

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One can be polite and assertive.

Mean people, I usually won't waste my time on if I don't have to be around them. Those that can't be avoided usuually have me about two inches from their nose sooner of later because my bulldog will eventually come out. It will be very calculated and not a knee jerk reaction.

I was born and raised on the southside of Chicago and the mentality here is that if you run or backdown, you'll be doing it for years and it will never end.

It depends on the situation. I don't like confrontaton but at the same time Idon't let people push me around either. Most times I tell people how I feel. If they are really nasty I not only tell them how I feel but I stop speaking to them all together. I don't need that type of negativity in my life.

Hi Kim-

I have used your method before when I have dealt with ansty customers in the past. It just kills people when they are nasty to you and you are nice to them in return. They have no idea what to do. It rocks!

I try to ignore. It doesn't always work. But I try. If I can smile about the whole thing, I try that but that's very hard.

;

I usually say something that lets them know they are dealing with someone that can be far meaner. This is not the way to handle it properly but I just can't resist.

Just last week I had a meeting with a client that had a nasty secretary. She wasn't mean to me but she was mean to someone that came into the reception area while I was waiting to see the client. After the person left she looked at me and I said, "Oh, I know, it's so much more difficult to overlook these things when we're in our mid fifties. I relate totally." Now this woman was in her early to mid forties but she was overweight and had a matronly appearance. She looked at me, not quite sure what to say, and then left the room without a word!

Bearing in mind that most of them do it for attention (albeit negative attention) I have two different responses. If it's in a business situation, the best thing is to be gracious and do your best to twist the situation in such a way that will make them feel guilty for their behavior later. Basically, use sugar. Be so nice to them in spite of it that it's just sickening. If it's in personal relationships, the best thing to do is to lay it all out, be honest, give them one or two chances, and then explain that the differences are just too great and that they suck the life outta you so there will be no further communication. Oh, wait, the above sarcasm is great, too. I've done that before as well.

I try to ignore them..

I'm so glad that you posted this, I was married for 12 years and my mean people are my ex-husband and ex-friend-ex-neighbor(woman). They were having an affair and now have kids together, then after 12 years, he divorces me. She had the nerve to say to my face,"What did I do wrong," and other phrases. I was her free taxi driver for 7 of those years. I have epilepsy and other health problems and shouldn't be alone.