by lynn a.
Member since:
December 29, 2006

FORSAKEN

August 11, 2007 06:06 PM UTC
views: 0 | comments: 52

SILENCE!

Encloses me

Like a Tomb.

DARKNESS!

Not even a web

Disturbed

By the Spider's handiwork.

OH! TO BE FORSAKEN!

My Heart Cries Out

Into Nothingness!

No where land, ether land

I wither

In My Loneliness! 

 

 

Since this came to be written due to Ina's article, this is dedicated to Ina Townsend.   

Comments: 52

Jennifer A. Aug 11, 2007, 6:26pm UTC
Lynn, this is a very powerful image of grief. I am overwhelmed by how tangible the pain seems to be. I hope that you are doing well and that this is more of a memory than a current feeling. Either way, it is a beautiful poem. Thanks for sharing it. I have felt like this myself, and I have no doubt that I am not the only one.
flit . Aug 11, 2007, 7:51pm UTC
I read it in context first and laughed ... but I can see Jennifer's point

you poor thing :)
Elsie Duggan Aug 11, 2007, 8:07pm UTC
Lynn this is a beautiful poem, and I know the feeling it expresses. I see you wrote it because of something Ina wrote, I hope she is okay.
Carol Roach Aug 11, 2007, 8:51pm UTC
a beautiful poem for a beautiful person
lynn a. Aug 11, 2007, 9:03pm UTC
Angela W., Thank you so much for the 10. That means a lot.
lynn a. Aug 11, 2007, 9:08pm UTC
Audrey L. C., I hope you feel better soon. Feelings can be so transitional. Of course, some can hunker in and it takes a bull dozer to get them out. I have been this sad before, and it took a great deal of time to walk out of it. You probably have as well, so you know it's more than likely a matter of time. And I hope so for you. Now I'm sad to know someone else is sad. And this time, I'm not joking. Please feel better Audrey.
DARCEY D. Aug 11, 2007, 10:09pm UTC
I Agree with Jennifer ,this is a very powerful image of grief, and a very powerful expression of loneliness, I really like this Lynn such few words say so much. One can not understand someone else's pain unless we have experienced it ourselves.
However there are translators in life ,I call them poets, and you are a very good one my friend. Even though it leaves me with a sad feeling , I love any poetry that moves me , and this wonderful little poem does that very well. Take care.
Darcey
Elsie Duggan Aug 12, 2007, 12:50am UTC
I am back again Lynn, this is truly beautiful.
lynn a. Aug 12, 2007, 2:32am UTC
Thank you, Elsie, a heads-up from you makes me think I'm a hot shot. I think it has a liturgical influence, don't you? Now here's wishing we have such wonderful dreams tonight. I'm wishing.
lynn a. Aug 12, 2007, 2:47am UTC
Jennifer, Thank you for reading my poem. You are such a darling. And I know how strapped you are for time now. Your thoughts mean a great deal to me. They always will.

Flit, Thank you for the comment. I think you know my secret.

Carol , Wow, the attention of a big-leaguer. Thank you for reading and commenting. And yes, Ina is a beautiful person. Reading Ina's work a lot of times is like going to the park and jumping on one of those turn around things. Fun. Fun. Fun.

Darcey, How sweet of you. I'm sorry I made you sad, but happy you thought it good. Thinking as much of you as I do, were you to say, "no good" I'd probably pitch it. Next time I'll have to post something fun again. How's that? I'd much prefer to put a little tickle in your giggle.
Ina ♥ ♥ Aug 12, 2007, 6:12am UTC
Oh, for heaven's sake!

Yes, I know your secret. Funny how these things can evolve sometimes, isn't it?

To everyone who is worried about me, I'm just fine.

Thanks for the compliments, too! I just love you to pieces. I have to go to work now. :o(
What an incredible poem and you surely chose a wonderful person to write it for and to. TEN from me!

Marilyn
Synchronicity W. Aug 12, 2007, 2:58pm UTC
i like your contrast of images and the strong emotions portrayed. very well done.
lynn a. Aug 12, 2007, 3:10pm UTC
Thank you, Ina. Oh, I could see the emails filling your box. Last night there was a great deal of worry on my part. So thank you for commenting.

Marilyn, Thank you for such a sweet compliment. I truly appreciate it. And yes, Ina is a wonderful person. I love her on-going, never ending sense of humor.

Sychronicity, Thank you, too, for commenting. I appreciate it.
julian three Aug 12, 2007, 9:11pm UTC
As one who came late to the gathering, I can comment only on the work as it is - and as such I find it moving, darkly powerful, and for soem reason, it puts me in mind of the closing lines of a soliloquy in some overlooked Shakespearean play.
Donald M. Aug 12, 2007, 9:43pm UTC
Very well written. A lot of feeling in it.
William Dotani Aug 13, 2007, 1:50am UTC
Touching. It has a foreboding force like darkness seeking light.
lynn a. Aug 13, 2007, 5:44pm UTC
Donald, Why, thank you. For a horse's butt you certainly have a fantastic grasp of the English language. THIS IS A JOKE ! Donald knows what it is.
lynn a. Aug 13, 2007, 5:49pm UTC
julian three, Thank you very much. Wow. You could make someone feel important. Seriously. Thank you very much for the compliments. I'd just read you hadn't been able to stay on Gather as much as you once did. I appreciate very much and respect the time you took to read my poem.
lynn a. Aug 13, 2007, 5:52pm UTC
William, thank you very much.

Monica, thank you. I'm glad you liked the imagery.
Mark Lange Aug 14, 2007, 2:20am UTC
Very Nice!
lynn a. Aug 15, 2007, 10:54am UTC
Thank you, Mark. I really like the photographs you do. Just wanted you to know.
☃ Shannon K. Wendt Aug 15, 2007, 10:55am UTC
Definite 10! Love the emphasis.
lynn a. Aug 15, 2007, 12:14pm UTC
Thank you, Shannon.
Elsie Duggan Aug 15, 2007, 12:25pm UTC
I came to thank you for your comments on my Second Guessing, I appreciate your kind thoughts.
Melanie B. Aug 15, 2007, 10:47pm UTC
10* Great job =)
lynn a. Aug 15, 2007, 11:23pm UTC
Elsie, You are so sweet. Thank you.

Thanks, Melanie B.
William Dotani Aug 16, 2007, 3:29am UTC
I await another of your poems.
Oakland Raider's to Superbowl Jason h. Aug 19, 2007, 1:13pm UTC
Brothas and sista girls or ladies and gentle men! May I please have the extreme pleasure of introducing to you, Poet Laureate of Gather,

Ms. Lynn A!

Solid!

That's what my girl should have gave you Lynn. 100% sharp!
lynn a. Aug 19, 2007, 3:50pm UTC
Thank you, William. It might be a wait. I'm not as prolific as you.

Jason H., You are too funny. I have certainly gotten a kick out of your comment, and if I ever need a manager you're the one. Thank you for stopping by and giving me a giggle.
Elsie Duggan Aug 20, 2007, 12:54am UTC
Came here to say thank you again Lynn, I appreciate your comments so much.
lynn a. Aug 20, 2007, 5:22pm UTC
You're welcome, Elsie, and I wouldn't have made it had I not meant it. You are a wonderful person. You give much to many.
Elsie Duggan Aug 22, 2007, 2:23am UTC
came here to thank you for your comment on my Sandwriting poem. I apprecite it Lynn,
Jennifer A. Aug 23, 2007, 10:50am UTC
Such a beautiful poem! I love your poetry, Lynn. It's amazing.
lynn a. Aug 23, 2007, 2:07pm UTC
Thank you, Jennifer. I love your writing too, but you know that. How is that puppy dog? More, how is that BIRD ! Oh, Lord, that bird.
Marge H. Aug 24, 2007, 10:50am UTC
Powerful imagery.
lynn a. Aug 24, 2007, 11:48am UTC
Thank you, Marge. I wrote this in a hurry. And posted it quickly. I could have filled out a spot better -- the darkness, but, maybe I will someday.
Barbary C. Aug 24, 2007, 3:01pm UTC
Sometimes writing fast can be the answer to getting out true feelings.

Nice work, lynn.
Elsie Duggan Aug 27, 2007, 11:13pm UTC
Get that pen out again Lynn, this is a very good poem, and thanks for your comments on my About me poem, I just couldn't be serious there, had too much fun writing it.
tammy b. Aug 27, 2007, 11:15pm UTC
I loved this.
lynn a. Aug 28, 2007, 9:27am UTC
Yes, Elsie, I thought you were sitting comfortably having a good laughing roar doing that poem. I certainly did reading it. Laughter is such a wonderful emotion. And you certainly provided that. Am waiting for the next one.

Thank you, tammy b.
Bundy P Aug 29, 2007, 7:48pm UTC
Powerful emotions!
lynn a. Aug 29, 2007, 11:18pm UTC
Thank you, Bundy P.
William Dotani Sep 8, 2007, 3:07am UTC
Yes, to be lonely is to wither.
Geronimo Moses Sep 16, 2007, 10:20pm UTC
Very sad Lynn. But then loneliness is.
Debbie G. Sep 19, 2007, 3:29pm UTC
Beautiful piece Lynn.
William Dotani Sep 26, 2007, 9:15am UTC
I reread this again and the last two lines still strike me as that of great sorrow.
William Dotani Oct 5, 2007, 9:16am UTC
I reread it again. You describe the anguish of being alone quick effectively with very few words. I mean that as a compliment.
Curt L. May 2, 2008, 3:24pm UTC
What a beautiful, potent poem!
Wilma M. Jun 12, 2008, 5:35pm UTC
Can't believe I never read this. It's wonderful and I know those exact feelings myself. I hadn't read whatever Ina wrote to inspire this but it can stand on its own.

You should be writing more!
Matthew A. Nov 17, 2008, 3:09pm UTC
It's so dark. I love it!

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