BILLY BENDER "The Great Mall" (Part 2 of 5)

Ace pulled the huge Hummer limousine over to the side of the parking lot and put it in park. Davinci then opened the door and tripped jumping down onto the ground.

He ended up flat on his back, and then laid there cursing for a moment while Haybale and I got out of the limousine.

The three of us headed across the parking lot toward this place called, The Making Bacon Diner!

The Making Bacon Diner was nothing more than a greasy spoon.  The only connection to the name was pictures of pigs all over the walls.  Oh and the pigs were mixed about with cactuses.  I guess that was a southwestern thing.

I could see Davinci and Haybale throwing pieces of Davinci’s stale blueberry muffin from breakfast to the seagulls over near the parked limousine while I paid the check.

As I left the restaurant and headed across the parking lot I noticed a crowd starting to gather over near our limo.

“I can sign that for you sir” I heard Davinci say to one of the people standing there, as I walked up.

“What’s going on?” I asked the two of them.

“Davinci’s signing autographs” Haybale exclaimed.

“Autographs” I said.

“Who are these guys?” I heard someone from the crowd ask his friend standing next to him.

“We’re stunt goats, from a new action movie.” Davinci answered to the crowd.  “Now please step aside so my partner can get through the crowd and up here into the limo with me.  We have an engagement over at the mall later today” he said, and then opened the door to the Hummer and climbed up in as I made my way over to the vehicle and joined him.

Haybale stood there amazed at the commotion that Davinci had created in the parking lot.

“C’mon Haybale lets get out of here” I said holding the door open for him and then motioning for him to climb up and in.

The mob had grown to a pretty good size by the time we were able to maneuver around everyone in the parking lot and then back out onto the main road.

“Now what did you go and do that for Davinci?” I asked him.

“Shits & giggles” he answered, and then proceeded to pour himself another drink from the bar inside the Hummer.  “They’re all gullible, every one of them.  They’d believe anything I told them.”

“Well then, maybe you should have told them you were, Davinci the Freakin Ding-Bat!  Haybale suggested.

“Easy there goat farmer, you don’t want to get on my bad side.” Davinci said to Haybale with scorn in his voice.

“Excuse me you little punk, I helped bring you into this world and I can put you out if you don’t like it.”

“Chill out, old man…  Hey Ace, how far to the mall?”

“It’s just up the street Mr. Davinci, about a mile or so” Ace answered, and then politely closed the window between him and us.

“Hey Bender I was thinking, when we get to California I thought we could go surfing.”  Davinci suggested.

“Surfing, you don’t even like water” Haybale reminded him, with great satisfaction.

“Well… I like surfing.” Davinci tried to sound convincing to the both of us.

“You’ve never surfed before in your life” I reminded him.

“Well it’s just a cool thing to do, and I want to!”  Davinci chugged down the rest of his drink and gazed out the window as Ace turned into the mall parking lot.

Davinci opened the sunroof again and stuck his head out as we made our way across the parking lot toward The Great Mall.

“Finally, hallelujah!” Davinci shouted out as Ace pulled our limo over near the main entrance.

Davinci then came back down into the Hummer and said…  “Let’s shop boys!”

COPYRIGHT 2007 FARMER SHAWN
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