A Celebration of Life

Photo Essay Contest

I've been meaning to share these photos of poppies, peonies, and iris with you for a week now, but after I returned to work following a month long asthma flare-up, my free time became quished into little dribbles of moments that weren't condusive to serious photo editing and posting. (It can take from four to six hours to process the photos, rotate, resize, name, and post them, along with positioning them in the article so they appear in an aesthetically pleasing arrangement.)

Then, on Thursday, I was told that my chest XRay, supposed to prove that my breathing issues were nicely resolved, showed a lump or mass in the right lung. Never a smoker, I couldn't imagine such a thing happening to me. Could it be? Would God do that to me after all the challenges he's thrown my way?

The visit to my Primary Care Provider was a bit comforting, he said in most cases these things did not turn out to be the dreader C word. But my father died of lung cancer after it metastasized from esophogial cancer, and I had many friends and family who were also currently dying of various forms of the horrible disease, so the odds he presented seemed shaky. He scheduled a CAT scan for yesterday morning. I went through the procedure, which was not a big deal, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't full of trepidation. After a nerve-wracking day, right in the middle of my twin daughters' 22nd birthday celebration, the phone call came.

I took the phone with trembling hands and walked into the other room. If it was bad news, I didn't want them to see my face when I heard it. To my intense relief, the news was good. The doctor on call (not my regular PCP) told me it wasn't a tumor, it wasn't cancer. It was this odd thing called a granuloma, which could have been caused by a recent infection, or by some long ago exposure to TB. Strange, but I welcomed that odd diagnosis with open arms.

I was going to live! At least for as long as God planned. And I'd be around to care for my disabled wife, her aging mom, my three college aged daughers, and my two beautiful grandsons for a little bit longer. I'd be able to write those 100 LeGarde Mysteries that I'd planned!

I'd imagined the worst, starting planning for my death during those 24 hours. I tried to imagine the finances, how the life insurance would be used to pay off the second mortgage, but was worried to death about my wife and who would care for her when her mother (now in her eighties) became too frail. I imagined my daughter, Melanie, singing "o babbino caro," at my funeral, and listened to her recording all the way to the CAT scan. It simultaneously comforted and saddened me, and I thought I might miss her debut performance some day on the stage of the Metropolitan Opera stage. One of the worst thoughts was the idea of not being at my daughters' weddings, or watching my grandsons grow up. I want so badly to continue to be an integral part of their lives.

I know, it was melodramatic and presumptuous, but I couldn't help it. I am the caretaker of everyone in our home, I've always been so, and I couldn't imagine any other role. Besides, there was no one around who could've driven me to chemo in the city, so it just couldn't happen! 

I realize as I write this that many of you have been on the hook, waiting for results, for much longer. Weeks, months, years... waiting for the test results that weren't always good. I have colleagues and an aunt who are dying as we speak of the dreaded disease, and my heart goes out to them and all of you, for all the pain you bear.

For those of us blessed with the promise of life, I pray you wake up today to take pleasure in everything around you. Enjoy every second of every day, stop to smell the sweet fruity fragrance of the iris, marvel at the softness on your child's downy cheeks, cuddle with your loved one as if it is the last time you'll ever have the chance, crush aromatic basil leaves and inhale the heady goodness of the herb...  Live life to the fullest, for it is the greatest gift.

So, here, in celebration of life, are a collection of my most recent flowers from last week's and this week's garden. Enjoy, my friends. And thanks for stopping by to read and tour my garden, once more.

Flame peony - a single petaled variety with an astounding, nearly fluorescent hue.

Tree peony - a delightful rose and yellow blossom with an amazing scent.

Salmon Poppies, such a unique color. Soft and inviting.

Blue iris - so cool and refreshing, with a fruity sweet scent.

Sarah Bernhardt Peonies

Flame peony, from the top.

Spent poppy, next to opening bud.

Another one "from the top," a pure white iris with a spicy scent.

Stay tuned for more, today new colors burst open, beckoning to me. I hope to capture them soon and post a new tour. Bless you all. ;o)