In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.
|
|
|
More by Kimberlee S. |
rate
email
print
link to this page
Comments: 14
cant think at the moment,but if i think of one ill add it later,
but great article hun,made me laugh
reminds me of what Bill Engvall talks about,here's your sign humor....
Bill's family pulls into the gas station,,his car has skies on the top..someone sees it and asks....you all going skiing?
Bill replies,nope.we put the the skies on top in case the car flips over...here's your sign
adding this is betterthan adding nothing i guess huh
how about if you buy rat poison or house cleaner an it says,keep out of reach of children,like duh,gee george,whos gonna say here sweety,play with this,lol
or how about when you go to McDonalds or another fast food restaurant and you ordersay 1 por 2 meals,and they give you the wrong order..you complain an they look at you like their bewildered or somthing..like thi brain went blank,uh duh,which way did he go george.haha
that any good?
(My personal favorite is the picture I saw on one plastic bag that shows a kid strangling themselves on the bag... it's just, well, bizarre-looking.)