BILLY BENDER "The Great Mall" (Part 1 of 5)

Davinci held the button down as the window between us and the driver opened. He stuck his head up into the front seat and shouted, “This Hummer is so sweet!”

It definitely was, I’m glad I rented it for the day.  This H2 Hummer limousine was just what we needed; today’s shopping trip was going to be a blast!

“So where to?”  The driver asked us as we pulled out of the parking lot of Albuquerque Limousine Service.

Davinci was now working on opening the sun roof, and then proceeded to stick his head out of it.

“We want to go shopping!  I answered.

“What type of shopping? The driver asked.  “ Albuquerque is a big city with lots of different kinds of shopping available.”

“Well, we need some new clothes, some cell phones, maybe a new vehicle and somewhere nice to have lunch later for starters.” I said.

“There’s this Great Mall called Cottonwood mall across town. I don’t think they actually sell cars at the mall itself but there are several dealers close by.  The place is enormous, you probably couldn’t visit all the stores if you were there for a week” the driver explained to the three of us.

“Oh and if you like seafood there’s this great restaurant right next to the mall called Copeland’s.”

“Copeland’s like in Louisiana ?”  Davinci quickly retreated down through the sun roof to join our conversation.  “Sounds like A Crash & Burn kind of day Bender.”  Davinci snickered at me.

“You’re a good man Mr. Davinci.”  The driver replied.  “Crash & Burn, that’s my favorite drink at Copeland’s.  Let’s see…  Seven liquors including Myer’s dark rum Southern Comfort blended with fruit juices and topped with Bacardi…  How did I do?”

“That little pip-squeak drinks liquor?” Farmer Haybale asked me while staring at Davinci, he looked surprised.

“That’s incredible!  What did you say your name was?”  Davinci asked the driver

“Ace” the driver said.  “My friends call me Albuquerque Ace.”

“Do they ever call you Ace the Alcoholic?” Haybale asked the driver.

“Let’s just get to the mall Davinci” I said changing the subject so as not to piss the driver off at us this early in the day.  “We have lots of shopping to get done today and we just ate at Copeland’s a few days ago anyway…  We haven’t even had breakfast yet, let’s worry about lunch later ok?”

“But I like seafood.”  Haybale said.  He looked genuinely disappointed.  “Those little shrimps with the bacon… Oh Man!”

“ Coors Blvd ?"  Davinci looked up at the street sign as we turned at a busy intersection.

“Yup!”  Ace replied.  “The mall is at the corner of Coors Blvd & Coors Bypass. And no, you can’t go wrong with shrimp” he added, nodding at Haybale.

“I think I love this town, all this talk of alcohol already is making me thirsty though.”  Davinci walked over to the small bar and rested a hoof on it.  “So what time do they start serving alcohol here in Albuquerque ?” Davinci asked Ace.

“Not until noon, but in our limousine we have a permit that allows our clients to drink alcohol any time of the day, as long as they stay inside the vehicle with it” He added.  “Help yourself.”

Davinci immediately opened up the bar, found something to his liking, and poured a big glass on the rocks.

Haybale looked to be in shock as Davinci took a few swigs off of his drink, sat back in the leather recliner next to the bar, and kicked back.

Haybale mumbled and looked around the inside of the Hummer. “I’m hungry” he said, looking at me.  “I haven’t eaten since before I got onto the plane last night in Jacksonville .  You’ve flown me all the way out here, now feed me.”

"Grumpy bastard!"   “Ace, is there somewhere we can get some quick breakfast on the way to the mall?  I asked.

“There sure is Mr. Bender, there’s a little local place just up the street here that has several different types of coffee drinks and some muffins and breakfast sandwiches in the mornings.  It’s quite popular” he added.

I looked at Haybale for his approval…  He nodded.

“That would be great Ace” I told him.

I looked at Davinci, who was just finishing his first drink and already filling a second one as we turned into the breakfast place, parking lot.

“Do you think just one day you might go easy on the booze?  I asked Davinci.

“I think that’s a great idea Bender” He said, as he chugged his second glass down. “Just not this day” he said.

Ace pulled the huge Hummer limousine over to the side of the parking lot and put it in park. Davinci then opened the door and tripped jumping down onto the ground.

He ended up flat on his back, and then laid there cursing for a moment while Haybale and I got out of the limousine.

The three of us headed across the parking lot toward this place called, The Making Bacon Diner!

COPYRIGHT 2007 FARMER SHAWN
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