What do you do about your emotional past pain?

It really depends on what type of pain it is. Sometimes it is better to just try to forget it, on the other hand there are certain kinds of emotional pain that will not go away until you face it and bring it to the surface.

i am a talker. I will talk until I feel better. To me burying the pain means it will resurface later and be worse.

I have asked for forgiveness when I have given someone else emotional pain.

When it's been inflicted on me, "most" of the time the person and i are able to talk it out. There are a few people who think they are above and beyond or two good to talk things out. For them I say "karma is a b*%^h!

I do think talking helps, as long as you can trust the person with whom you're talking. Time does help, and burying it doesn't work. I have written how I feel and then burned the papers, and that did help some.

if I talk about it it only brings it back as it it happened yesterday so its best to just forget about is and move on.

forgive is the best remedy i found

I find talking about it can help lead to forgiveness...I tend to write about mine or create artwork about it...it is amazing how pain is great for creativity and doing something creative helps work through the pain...

Thank you everyone for your inputs regarding this.

If I am in emotional pain, it is likely that that's what I'm spreading around my family and loved ones. So, as a baseline - I have to forgive myself. I think it is worth it to talk with someone who is trained to help me to keep things in perspective. If it is from a traumatic event, the pain can be worked out with a professional. In other cases, a good friend will do. I have lived with a few hurts in my time and the greatest thing is that time does heal all wounds. We are geared towards health and believing in our ability to bounce back whenever we can is a giant step forward.

I try to resolve it the best way I know how by writing in a journal about, talking to a counselor, trying to figure out something positive I got out of the negativee experience and or combination of everything. There is a part of my past where the emotional pain to too much and no matter cannot put it to rest, so I choose to bury it.

I don't usually talk about it. People don't understand anyway unless they have been through it themselves. It doesn't go away either way.

Writing is the best outlet for me. Don't bury it or you will eventually erupt.

Forgiveness, but it is important to know that forgiveness doens't mean that it is ok that someone hurt you. Forgiveness starts when you become willing to forgive and you ask God to forgive the other person. That makes it between them and God. You have placed it in his hands. He is the only one who can for give sin. Then if it is possible you should try be reconcilled with that person. That means not holding the offense against them. It is costly because you give up revenge and bitterness and blame. But it has a rich reward in peace. Often you have remember over and over that you have asked God to forgive them and left it in his hands.
You can't bury pain for long, it has its way of coming back. Best to deal with it.

I personally don't think you have to forgive, but you can move beyond anger and blame.

Just keeping it in doesn't help, it will come out one way or the other, you should try and make sure that how it comes out is constructive.

Pray about it.

I write it out and then dig a big hole and stuff it in. Mainly I try to keep away from those who would hurt me like that.

If raped or molested, do you think you can forgive and forget?

I just found your article today, M & M. I was sexually abused as a child and raped as an adult. The most important person to forgive is oneself if one has blamed oneself for the abuse. It is not up to me to forgive the people who did these things. They have to look to their own consciences and grapple with their feelings. Forgiveness in relation to rape and molestation comes in the form of letting go of the emotional charge I have around these things, where they are no longer relevant to my life. I do not absolve those who hurt me of their responsiblity for what they did nor do I condone their acts, but little by little the aftereffects of those acts on me and my life are fading away and they are losing their relevance in my life so I can focus on now, and live my life now. In relation to forgetting, as I have worked through and expression my feelings about these traumas and all things related to them (e.g. the total lack of protection by my parents), again, the memories are losing their relevance to my current day life and I think about them less and less. I don't believe one can ever completely forget such terrible experiences, but the level of remembering lessens over time with the right help. I had PTSD as a result of the rape and had a number of years where I was gripped by terrible flashbacks---visual, auditory, tactile. I no longer suffer from PTSD nor do I have flashbacks. Every now then, something in my current life with trigger a memory, just as current day events can trigger other memories to surface briefly, but they do not linger nor do they interfere with my ability to live my life.

My coping means have been many. Over time I established a support team of excellent medical practitioners---psychologist, psychiatrist, M.D., bodymind integration specialist (extremely helpful if one has split off from oneself as a result of trauma), chiropractor. I have doctors besides just the therapist and psychiatrist because I buried my feelings for so long they somatized in my body as pain and I have needed help to treat and heal chronic pain.

I don't know if you asked these questions for yourself or for someone else, but whoever the person is, I wish you all the best in your journey and the most smooth recovery possible.

I've been chewing one for about three years. I've talked about it ~ rather, more like ranting about it ~ just to get out the anger. Forget about it? It's doubtful I will ever forget about it. Forgive the source? Nope. The cut was too deep and the source of my emotional pain is still doing it to others.

My only "satisfaction" will come when she reaps what she has sewn.

self-forgiveness is key, it's tough, though. what to do about past pain? talking about it forever keeps us locked in the past and burying it causes unhealthy patterns in our interactions with others. i personally am a talker but often find myself just shutting up because it isn't helping but perpetuating it. my solution? EMDR...if you don't know what that is, look it up. also working with a therapist whose specialty is post traumatic stress disorder. also, faith. faith is something that goes beyond words and it can heal you. i know that sounds crazy, but at times in my life at the worst low of lows, my faith has been all that i have had. i am not a christian or anything like that. i don't care if you have faith in the fact that a big rock is there now and has been there for thousands of years and will continue to be there for thousands more. if your faith is in that solid rock, let it be faith in that rock. i have come to the conclusion that it is ok to have faith in change and peace of mind. when i am not at peace within i am not living a life of happiness or clarity of consciousness.

for me talking about it helps. I am a very private person, and don't share my thoughts and feelings with many people though..I do have a few people i'm very close too, and they help me out by listening when I need to talk. it's not healthy to keep it in, so I don't anymore.

  I take medication to help me to cope, and even then it haunts me. I do talk about it occassionally, but only with those I know who want to share and support.