Chapter Two: Bringing Good out of Bad

When I signed myself into a psychiatric ward for the very first time I met a girl, I'll call Cindy. Cindy was in high school. She was doing PCP and making poor decisions. She was working part time and I think helped herself to some cash. She wound up in the hospital and had uncontrollable rages. Often after an incident she was put in a straight jacket and given a shot to tranquilize her. I would sneak in her room and talk to her.  Her doctor felt she needed other care. Her parents who were wealthy wanted her to go to a private hospital and had a list of several. She decided to dig her heels in and stay. The doctor threatened her with having her committed to a State Mental Hospital.  I was gentle as I am and pointed out that she should chose a hospital from her parents list because it would enable her to be in control, not them. She chose Carrier Clinic in Belle Meade, New Jersey.  When she was allowed contact I called her as much as I could.  When she returned home I went to visit her. She was happy to see me. Her family was indeed very wealthy. She fully recovered and graduated High School. Last I knew she was heading to go away to College in Colorado.  When I left her mother followed me and thanked me for helping her daughter and she would always appreciate it, but she wanted me never under no circumstances to return or have contact with her daughter. I never heard from Cindy so I chalked it up that her Mother only wanted her to be friends with wealthy people.  Okay, I was disappointed but she didn't need me anymore anyway.

My life went on and I spent time in a day program.  A day program is where you go when you are no longer needing a hospital but they want you to have therapy and I guess supervision. I wound up doing the sheltered workshop payroll. There were up to 20 different jobs that paid piece meal and around 25 people who participated. Computers were just arriving on the scene so this was all done by hand. I had become more like a helper and less like a "client" as I would often help new people adjust to the program.

One of the new girls, I will call Sarah was fun, wild and crazy but very paranoid. I gained her trust. She thought her father was told to kill her and so I brought her home to pick up a few things while her Mother was home. An ex boyfriend was nice enough to let her stay with him. (He had moved on and was truly being nice). Her mother was thrilled with me and gave me gas money. At one point Sarah went into the hospital and they wanted to give her Electric Shock Treatments(EST). 

One lady from the hospital I was in with Cindy, I'll call her Susan, was sweet but couldn't stop crying. Everyone on the ward loved her and we got on our hands and knees to look for her rosary beads she had lost on Easter. I had a pass and brought back a cake to cheer her up. She wound up in another hospital and had EST. She became a different person and it was sad, it changed her for the worse.  Knowing this I spoke to Sarah's parents when I found out this was to be done the next day. I begged them not to allow EST. Knowing how well Cindy did at Carrier Clinic, I advised them to do what they could to get her to Carrier Clinic.  They listened me and had Sarah moved to Carrier Clinic the very next morning.

I went on in my life and left the day center. I had completed a year of college and although the part time payroll job was fun, I need to find a full time job. I found one in the Financial Aid Department of the Madison Campus of FDU.

One day John, my husband now, boyfriend back then and I went to the Paramus park mall to go to buy some dishes.  Sarah's mother was in a group of women and I did not recognize her. I had never seen her all dolled up. She ran over to me and  cried, "Heather, my angel!" She hugged me with tears in her eyes! She told me that Sarah had fully recovered at Carrier. She had her daughter back and she told me it was a miracle.  She told me she would give me anything I wanted in the world. Did I need a car? She would be more than happy to buy me one.  I said no. I was just happy to hear her daughter was better.  She made me promise that if I ever needed anything that I would go to her. I promised but I knew I never would. It was God that had given her this gift not me. I never saw her again.

I am sharing this story as although I went through bad time in my life, God brought good out of it. If I hadn't been in the hospital I wouldn't have been able to help Cindy. I wouldn't have seen the damage EST did to Susan and I wouldn't have been able to relay my observations to Sarah's mother. It is a wonderful memory that I treasure that Sarah's mother ran up to me to hug me tell me that Sarah recovered.

When I entered the hospital for psychiatric care I thought my life was ruined. Now I realized my life just took a different turn. If I hadn't gone through what I went through, I wouldn't be who I am today. Who knows what would have happened to Cindy and Sarah if God hadn't put me in their path. What would have happened to me if God didn't send me all the people who helped me and all the people that I helped that drew my focus off of me and made me feel needed?

Thank you God for bringing good out of the bad in my life! 

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.