by Magi the magical poet is riding the wind again
Member since:
March 29, 2006

Oz Beach

August 03, 2007 05:49 AM EDT
views: 73 | rating: 10/10 (13 votes) | comments: 49

chuckles 05 of 09

  

Oz Beach

  

The Oz summer comes with

            taut and terrific

                        bikini babes

                                    ample curves

                                                wobbly bits

bronzed youths

                        muscles rippling

                                    hardness barely hidden

                                                even newly risen

            steel-eyed matrons

                        wearing tents

                                    scowl at their

                                                varicose veins

            bald-headed men

                        beer guts swaying

                                    belch loudly with

                                                froth on lips

            overtired kids

                        howl at sunburn

                                    want more ice cream

                                                need good smacking

            parked cars jammed

                        in too few places

                                    temper running hot

                                                the finger provokes road rage

 

You ask if I

            would like to come down

                        to the beach to add to the din

                                    and go for a swim never mind

                                                the stinger jellyfish and sharks

            not bloody likely

                        I'll watch it all

                                    on the TV news

                                                while sitting in air-conditioning

  

See also:



01 Stricken

02 Bomber

03 Revenge

04 Attitude

 

000 Tinkles, Musings, Humour & Short Series - Table of Contents 



 

 

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Comments: 49

Charlene Sharp Aug 3, 2007, 6:18am EDT
Cute but it is obvious that you don't like the beach..
elizabeth e. Aug 3, 2007, 7:24am EDT
Oh Magi...too funny...as you are sitting in your air-condition room this week, think of me at the Cape Cod National Seashore or on the beach at Ogunquit, Maine enjoying fully all the happening at the beach: I'm a people watcher and so I love watching old men in speedo bathing suits, matrons who should wear bathing gear of the 20's so their cellulose didn't shine, the athletic, sun-tanned legs and inverted bellies of the young girls coming of age, but most of all, I enjoy the "over-heard" conversations of families interacting.
Faith H. Aug 3, 2007, 1:39pm EDT
Very apt description of a day at the beach. If only I could find an exclusive private beach where all my flaws would go unremarked! Good laugh, Magi.
Thank you, Charlene. Actually, I like the beach. But not when the sun is blazing - I burn too easily. But it is great on a summer's evening and on a winter's day.
Thank you, Audrey.
Bob, this was written with tongue firmly in cheek. I do like the beach and people watching - but from the coolness of shade.

No air-conditioning in my computer room, I'm afraid - it is the hottest room in the house during summer and the coldest in winter.
Thank you, Amy. Calling from under a shady tree, I hope.
Faith, my friend, buy a big pair of sunnies and then join an exclusive nudist club with a private beach.
Faith H. Aug 3, 2007, 8:11pm EDT
No, no, no....the world is NOT ready for this girlish figure at a nudist club!
elizabeth e. Aug 3, 2007, 8:13pm EDT
Faith...I know just the beach...it's a nudist beach in Truro, the town next to Provincetown...together we can go...though not private...all who go could give a damn what a body looks like...your there for the sun...nothing more.
Faith H. Aug 3, 2007, 8:18pm EDT
I dunno, Bob, those droopy, wobbly bits...and the interstate map on the thighs....
yikes...(and that is just the other folks, me, I'm a ten! ha!)
elizabeth e. Aug 3, 2007, 8:22pm EDT
What imagery magi....could just picture this whole scene...

when I go off to Wellfleet next week I'm going with my camera and I'm agonna look for
those bikini babes
and steel-eyed matrons
beer gut bald-headed men
and smacking moms
after taking their pictures i'm agonna hand them a copy of your poem....

and hope i get out alive.
elizabeth e. Aug 3, 2007, 8:27pm EDT
Faith...we are BEYOND looking at those droopy, wobbly bits...as for the interstate maps...better then a compass for a lemon!
Bernadette H. Aug 3, 2007, 8:49pm EDT
Wrong time of day, my friend. Beaches are for sunrise (these's no on there at 5.30am), or evenings, and winter days when the wind keeps all at bay but those who want to feel alive.
Bob and Faith, off you go to Truro! Wear the sunnies and the hats. LOL You two could be the beginning of a Gather nudist club.
Bob, before you hand out a copy of the poem, make sure you've got your running shoes on.
Everyone, please welcome Bernadette - a Kiwi living in Sydney. Our friendship goes back 20 years. My dear friend, connect to the people who have commented on my stuff and you won't go wrong. And a big worldwide Happy Birthday! to you as well.
Faith H. Aug 3, 2007, 9:37pm EDT
Welcome, Bernadette, to the madness that you must know up close, being a friend to Magi. And a Happy Birthday as well!
How lovely of you, Faith. I'll email Little Bear to make sure she reads your warm welcome to the madness.
elizabeth e. Aug 4, 2007, 5:51am EDT
Welcome to the World of Magi...Bernadette...and a Happy Birth Day to you. I think I will drop by your page and try to connect 'cause any friend who has been Magi's friend for two times ten must be a Kiwi to know.

As for sunrise walks on the beach...Bernadette...you have that right. That is my favorite time too....though I must say, I don't walk quietly...I'm a rather loud and active girl... and so I built constructions by the sea...
Laurun M. Aug 4, 2007, 10:06am EDT
Magi, this is so funny. I'm glad to read your comments and find that you do like the beach. Very well written BTW...I'm with elizabeth on the overheard conversations. Those can be fun...but...I'm not going to the nudist beach.
Welcome Bernadette and Happy Birthday.
elizabeth e. Aug 4, 2007, 10:22am EDT
Come on, Laurun, it will be fun...you and me and Faith and we'll tie up magi and bring that cudmudgeon along to frolic in the sea and do step dancing on the beach.
Thank you, Marianne. I, too, like ambling along - the beaches in West OZ stretch endlessly.
Bob, that's kind of you. Please do connect with Bernadette - but she may be a little shy for a while.
Thank you very much, Laurun. Yes, overheard conversations can be interesting. Like you, the nudist beach is not for me - the world is not ready for the sight. LOL
I guess, Bob, step dancing could be fun - as long as it occurs on a pitch-black night. LOL
elizabeth e. Aug 5, 2007, 8:45pm EDT
On a pitch black night when the moon is full on the beach at Inishbofin!
Under a full moon on the beach at Inishbofin? Sound like a mad Leprechaun scientist. Still, I suppose, little people should also be allowed to let it all hang out. LOL
Carolyn Madden Aug 6, 2007, 7:23am EDT
Love this Magi. I adore the beach but definitely during those hours when Sol is feeling more mellow.. sunset this time of year is just spectacular here.. because as it's setting over the hills in the west, the glow reflects on the ocean to the east and creates the magical illusion of a pink sea. And luckily, particularly at the start and end of the day, our little beach town is fairly quiet. Those crowded beaches i see in movies or the telly are simply not part of my experience.

And as for stingers and rips and other nasties, our town parents have solved that for us by creating an artificial lagoon right beside the sea for all us wimps.

so my beer gut can sway happily without the ancillary discomforts!
Thank you, Carolyn - I'm with you as to time of day. Here in West Oz the sun sets over the ocean, except in two huge bays where the land hooks right around and the sun actually sets over the land - it takes some getting used to.

I like the pic of you in red by the water.
John F Walter Aug 6, 2007, 10:45pm EDT
Again you get us into your speaker´s mind set, and first he woos us with seductive images of summer, and then comes the hassles and the din and the jellyfish....until we are laughing at being so provoked. You have an angelic comic timing in the midst of your careful poetic scene building. Oz Beach builds especially nicely to its ¨fuh-git about it¨finale.
John, thank you very much. My friend, I do so enjoy sharing smiles and laughs. It doesn't always come off but that doesn't stop me from trying.
Thank you, Cindy. It's true, there is something about the sea that makes these beaches different.
William Dotani Aug 9, 2007, 12:57am EDT
I want to finish reading your stories, but recently have had so little time. This poem made me smile. I can relate to every scene you painted, but unlike you I don't bother watching our biased news. I like radio.
Thank you, Bill. Take your time, my friend - if you get around to it, great; if not, it wasn't meant to be. Just don't stress yourself.

The news on the Australian Broadcasting Commission is about as unbiased as media can get, so I do watch it. Ditto with Aussie SBS. But I also like the radio.
Pat M. Aug 12, 2007, 11:33pm EDT
Hmm, how'd I miss this one?
Love it. Needless to say, the only similarity with my West Coast beaches are the bikini babes. The rest, my friend you can claim as your own.
Ok, perhaps I should include my beer gut as well.
Well, Pat, at least you have beer guts over there. Thanks for finding this. You should connect with Bernadette - also a Kiwi.
elizabeth e. Sep 9, 2007, 4:56am EDT
This week at school I chanced upon a book, Poetry for Young People: Lewis Carroll and found that he has thoughts akin to yours about the beach...

A Sea Dirge

There are certain things- as, a spider, a ghost
The income-tax, gout, an umbrella for three
That I hate, but the thing I hate the most
Is a thing they call the Sea.

....another stanza further down:

If you like your coffee with sand for dregs,
A decided hint of salt in your tea,
And a fishy taste in the very eggs-
By all means choose the Sea.
Bob, I love it! Thanks for going to all of the trouble of looking it up and keyboarding it into your comment.
Janna O'Donnell Sep 9, 2007, 7:17am EDT
More of a pool guy, I take it? Very funny.
Thank you, Janna. Actually, I do like the beach - uncrowded, and preferably in the evening.
libramoon C. Sep 9, 2007, 8:07pm EDT
Great observations. I prefer my beaches mostly empty, especially at night in winter (but then I generally prefer night and winter).

Peace,
libramoon
Libramoon, we have similar likes. I love the beach on a winter's night - it has a special wild and free quality which I find refreshing for the soul.
Ah, Rena, the Land of the Long White Cloud and of the All Blacks has spectacular scenery but it really is to West Oz you should come for surfing beaches ... for any beaches - there are literally thousands of miles of pristine sand and fantastic swimming.
amanda wallin Oct 13, 2008, 3:08am EDT
Hey Magi....you coulda been describing LA. Love your trademark wit and I could relate all too well. I was just sent here cause I wrote about Oz but I see I'm a wee bit late
Never too late to catch up with friends, Amanda! And I shall go to your home page now to try and find your take on Oz.
Shelbia C. Aug 1, 2009, 10:24pm EDT
I enjoyed this. The visuals were great.
I don't know how you found this, Shelbia, but I'm pleased you enjoyed it.

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