Personality types

I am calm for the most part - I don't deal with stress well, it usually makes me sick

Kelly you are soooooooo lucky

take a deep breath count to 10 and reevaluate believe it or not it helps

It really depends on what you mean Lora....the older I get, the more like my parents I get...lol....

I don't think you're going to screw your kids up any more than the rest of us...as long as they are happy and well adjusted, you'll be fine. Noticing your behavior will be your biggest deterent.

Janet, I mean I got yelled at all the time. Now, I see myself just automatically doing that. I just start yelling when things go wrong. I remember how I felt when it was done to me and I feel terrible for doing it. But it is like a natural reaction to me. I grew up feeling very disliked by my parents, still not sure if they like there kids. I just don't want to have my kids feel like that.

I try to remain calm. I used to want things to be perfect at work and would go crazy if it didn't. Then one day I realized it wasn't worth it. It is what it is and when it's beyond my control, there's nothing I can do about it.

I do get frustrated from time to time, like this week. I dealt with the situation and moved on.

Lora - you yell because you don't know what to do. It's inside you to deal with your children differently. Please do. You know the pain that comes from being yelled at - not to mention the threat to your self-esteem.

I used to be a hot head but with age I have become the volcano. I let alot ride until I crash and explode. Have been working on that too.
Stress handling is different for everybody. Personally i have become almost numb to stress. It has eaten away at me for years until i basically just don't feel it anymore until I crash. Prozacs tend to help with the edgeiness.
Being afraid of being like your parents is normal and also a good sign. It means you recognize it. So next time you feel like you are being your parents, take that deep breath and quickly go into the other direction.
Good luck!

I started giving myself a time out. I know it sounds funny, but it gave me time to calm down before I had to deal with a situation. My family had the yelling, and we started out that way too. If it started out as that, I would take a deep breath, and if it was a situation with the kids, I would tell them I was too angry to decide anything right then, I never let my temper decide something I would regret later. I also learned two very important things.
1. I apologized if I did lash out, for handling things in a bad way, not that they were in trouble, if that was the case, since they had done something that did justify punishment.
2. We discussed punishment, and I calmly determined if the punishment given was fair, and if it wasn't, what would be more appropriate.

I always apologized but only for handling things incorrectly. I did not let them use guilt to get out of it, because that would be just as unfair if they have done something wrong. The best thing to do though is catch yourself BEFORE you get to that point and start working on ways to control the anger til you can find an acceptable outlet. (I just take a notepad while I am in timeout and write what I would have yelled till it gets out of my system. Eventually I got to where I saw how ugly half of that was, and I really try to keep my head enough now to think before I speak, even in anger.

I cant take stress anymore. Have always handled it much to well during my youth and child raising years. guess I would have been what you called a brown noser, trying so hard to get along, I didnt stick up for myself. But when I got down and out and sick, couldnt be everything for everybody. None of them were there for me. they didnt need me anymore so,they were through with me. So Now my health is very bad and my emotions stay on a roller coaster. I still take a lot, but when they push me to far, I just explode. Im working on it. But most outsiders tell me they would have told these people to take a flying leap the first go around. Not wait until they had basically driven me up the walls. Not my immediate family. ,,,,,,,,Norma

I have taken so many personality profiles in the last three years at school I can tell you EXACTLY what kind of personality i have LOL i took a whole class where I had to analyze myself. It made me realize what parts of my personality was good and what could do with some changing. Each person is different, no people are the same :)
My main flaw is i get annoyed easily and can be impatient

I am joe cool on the outside, but eating myself up on the inside most of the time....not so good.

I don't handle stress well. I wouldn't say I am a hot head, I do tend to hold things in. wasn't allowed to express myself when I was young, had to hold everything in all the time..

Calm

Some times you have to pick your battles. Some times you need to stop and think, now what do I want and how will I get it. I am very calm but when I get angry I get real quiet while I try to calm down and figure out where I am going with it. My children can tell without me raising my voice, from the look on my face. Lately my 13 year old has been punching my buttons, but see I know what she is doing so I can choose how to react. Sometimes she gets hurtful and sometimes I have to not address the remarks but ask her what happened with her that she is so angry or feeling bad. She calms down and usually starts crying over something that happened with a friend that hurt her. The older I get the wiser I get. I used to react right away, now I weigh getting upset as my muscles with spasm and I will get in extreme pain from the spasms from my fibro. I also don't want a heart attack and I will not get into fights as I don't want hubby to have a heart attack either. One other thing I do is not let the little things build up. I will deal with things before I am at the stage where I blow.

I guess I would describe myself as having an "A-minus" personality. Most of the time I am pretty calm (taking magnesium at night helps). But if I really get involved in something, I can get pretty intense sometimes. Maybe it's because I'm on the cusp of Libra and Scorpio -- with just the edge of a sting! If you do get too "hotwired", try one of those herbal calmers like valerian or L-theanine, which comes from green tea. Thanks for posting this!

I'm a lot calmer since I started taking Prozac !

You made a big step to changing when you said you did not like to be like your mom and wanted a different life. I monitor my gut. When I feel uptight, uncomfortable, etc. I know something is going on. It usually means something happened that caused me (incorrectly) to believe I was a unworthy person. So I rethink what was said and say to myself-what he/she said was not about you but probably about them.

I think the fact that you are cognizant of how your parents were with you will make you better able to see how you are being with your kids. A good example is my own mother. My grandparents were horrible people. There's just no nice way of putting it. However, my mother is one of the most loving, helpful, wonderful people on the face of the earth. So, don't be lured into believing that you have to be like your parents. You can make a very different life for you and your kids. I think you're taking a big step just by looking for the answers. :)

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