Ed, that could be an excellent option, though the imagery of the acting of the rice tossing is what I meant to convey. Thanks I appreciate the feedback :)
Very nice Haiku. I like rain of rice. By it's nature and placement it evokes grain anyway so you get them both for the price of one. I also like the seeming contradiction between rain and floating illustrating a frozen moment in time, which in turn contrasts "forever" in the line above. In fact each line in some way fulfills and contradicts the others creating a complex and complete image.
Generous observations Atticus, but if I could pose this question: is the use of consonance with rice and lace too much? Does it come across as being sophomoric? Thanks :)
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