alone again naturally

"hit the road jack .."

            a song
 

So that's it

The kids left behind the quiz of Europe i bought them so they are busy and do not 

drive their father crazy and my daughter forgot her sandles but they did take

the schnitzel sandwhiches i made, the chocolate chip cookies and the fresh baked challa 

bread i had been busy making since dawn.

At first there was the usual protest from the father  backed by the boys, my daughter remained

neutral, and i just gave him two shopping bags full of  food i had been preparing in between

getting my daughter's wash and placing it in her suitcase.

My daughter just got back from summer camp yesterday afternoon and i quickly dragged

her off to buy her a swimsuit as we could not find hers..got my mother a nice box of assorted

swiss chocolates on the way( i am flying to my mother tomorrow night)   and have been busy since then trying to organize shoes and

though the boys have been packed for the past three days we had a small crisis:

papa protesting a third piece of luggage.

I had just purchased a set of two very sturdy looking suitcases that came with a lock with a combination number, something that had caused my small son great joy

I have been collecting stamps from the supermarket  for the luggage for the past few weeks and was actually 

looking foreward to using the bigger luggage myself however i was surprised to find out 

the photo made the suitcase much larger  than i had first figured and thus making it 

unsuitable as a suitcase for me as i am planning to buy lots of clothes and books in Israel 

for me and the kids.

My attempts to negotiate the luggage issue were defeated as my phonecalls went unanswered

the mechanical answering machine asking me to leave a message.

As the Jewish saying goes i also made the mistake of "mixing several joyous occasions at the same time" "Mixing a simcha and a simcha" (simcha-a joyous occasion)

As i called the father of the children to ask whether he could meet for half an hour for a chat

concerning his future plans for our marriage,

i probobly should not have left the following message on the answering machine:

"so, what do you think? can this marriage be saved by lots of therapy or perhaps are you thinking of getting electrical shock ?"

I thought it was so funny at the time however the reaction was a "no comment "

all my  attempts to negotiate the suitcase situation and to try to talk him into letting each kid have their own suitcase , failed  .

I could see  how the peace talks in the middle east had a better chance than the father of my children and i actually having a talk about the future.

A professor of mine (Japanese theater ) used to say whenever he had asked :

"any questions?" 

and was met with silence

"silence as consent" ("Shtika ke haskama" in Hebrew) 

and i now realize the wisdom of this remark,

yes, if someone remains silent , it means they do not take a stand on anything.

O.k. i never studied political science as i believed  William Shakespeare was right, 

"the world is a stage and we are the players "(not a direct  quote)

life is a stage and theater studies  was probobly the best school i could have had 

my favorites being the theater of absurd.

My family life has always been dramatic, my father loved acting and putting up shows

mostly comedies and my mother always used to stage the melodramatic scenes and seemed 

to prefer the tragedy, always delivering speeches filled with prophecies of doom i have to be careful not to encorporate into my own family drama..

At last when the big moment had arrived and the family dog hugged and kissed and i was allowd to give the children, even the boys, a kiss on the cheek,

the father of my husband had turned a blind eye to that third suitcase, putting away what i thought were quite a lot of games and he made place for that third suitcase..

I bent to kiss the father of my children and he had turned the other cheek, literally,

the dog got a lot of kisses that afternoon however so not all is lost!

I thought about the way we were before the separation, and how i worried the kids went without as we the parents were busy with battles.

Now that we live separately the kids got TWO sets of picnics , one maternal, slightly burned and homemade, and one paternal, perfect but mass produced and supermarket manufactured

and i recalled a comment by another professor of  theater studies concerning the educational aspects of theater studies :

"if nothing else, when the children do go to the theater ,they will have  learned  to be a good audience!" 

I headed to the woods and hugged some trees, admired the way the light played upon the leaves and listened to the wind play on  the branches and leaves a  pretty melody.

On the way home i stood next to an elderly man watching as a house had been torn down,

a  broken house, and thought how so many times life imitates art and theater.

Like scarlette said:

"Tomorrow is another day !"