A few weeks ago I had an unsatiable urge to kiss. I started looking at the men in my life differently, especially my co-worker/best male friend, Big Dog. I started thinking how great we'd be together, we know each other so well and they say that friends turn into the best lovers. I bought into it.
I don't know if the facial hair he started growing had something to do with it. A complete change of how he looked, and I guess I started looking at him less as the conservative, somewhat niave, stuffy guy I've known. More dangerous. More attractive.
I've based a lot of what I want on in a future man in my life on him. He has several traits and characteristics that I love: he is completely committed to his kids, he has a fantastic sense of humor, he's smart, extremely caring, expressive, honest. And cute. Not drop dead, make my stomach quiver gorgeous, but not unattractive either.
The dream/fantasy lasted all of 5 days. I'm not sure if it was how he acted at the hospital, but it ended. Maybe I realized what a great friend he is and how I really don't want that to end. He was there for me as no other man in my life has ever been. Or maybe it was because he shaved. I don't know and I'm not going to put a lot of thought into it.
Today he came in unshaven again. I didn't look at him any differently. I guess at this point in my life a scruffy little puppy is probably safer than a Big Dog anyhow.