Tagged: My positives, negatives and mostly fish tales

In the past two weeks I have been tagged by three different people. I have been quite busy with my wife off to see her parents in Japan. She thankfully returns tomorrow and I will have to stop my Sack of Ten diet. I guess I'll just list a few things and you can decide if they are positive, negative, or simply a fish tale.

I think Elsie would hire a dust cropper plane to drop a ton of dandelion seeds in my neighborhood. so I will give her a bye. I'm only going to tag Barbara B to give me 5 positives and 5 negatives about herself.

 1. When I was 26 a young woman started jumping up and down when she saw me at the airport because: a) she thought I was Santa Claus  b) she had ants in her pants  c) she thought that I was Jimmy Conners  d) she thought I was Bob Dylan  e) she thought I was Jed Clampett

 2. My first job was: a) a male model for stylish thongs  b) a stockboy at a paint store  c) a child actor in an episode of Mr. Ed  d) a busboy at Taco Bell  e) a pantyhose inspector

 3. My third grade teacher, Mrs. Bivens, had me removed from class for: a) kissing all the girls  b) farting loudly and often in her class  c) standing on my desk  d) throwing challk at her

 4. My senior prom was quite memorable because: a) I had two dates  b) I wore a bright orange tuxedo  c) I did not come home until 10 a.m. the next day  d) I was the prom King

 5. When I first met my wife: a) I was dating four women  b) I was delivering her a pizza  c) I had blue eyes  d) I was wearing a thong  e) We were in a unisex bathroom brushing our teeth

 6. My wife and I got married: a) at an Elvis chapel in Las Vegas  b) because her daddy had a shotgun  c) at a round hotel in Osaka  d) at a mass Reverend Moon wedding  e) in a church

 7. After my wife told me she was pregnant with our first child, I: a) smoked an illegal Cuban cigar  b) went to the refigerator and got a can of Coors beer  c) bought a train ticket  d) went to a restaurant and ate sushi  e) Asked my wife what we were having for dinner

 8. I supported a young boy named Noel Costillas through CCF for fifteen years. When he became 18 I: a) visited him and gave him a copy of places to visit in Japan  b) told him to be a good boy  c) helped him enlist in the US Army  d) paid the tuition for his Junior college studies

 9. The hardest problem I had when returning to the USA in 1998 was: a) learning which side of the road to drive on  b) finding a decent beer to drink  c) finding a good quality sushi restarant  d) to not grimmace at the constant grammar mistakes in the average American's speech

10. When Gather people send me a message in my inbox to read one of their articles: a) I drop everything I'm doing and go at once to the site and read their article  b) I get angry  c) I wonder if Elsie got the same invite  d) I just delete the message

Now BARBARA B has been tagged. Please incessantly remind her that she is to write five postives and five negatives of her wonderful life. Those who tagged me might feel a slight twinge of pain in their little toe. I have you as Voodoo dolls and I want you to know that is the first spot I put the needle in.