My memories are
scattered pieces
blowing in the wind
some floating carelessly
others moving with purpose.
Some are solid and strong
taking root in my soul
like a tree
never swaying in the winds
of a storm.
some live in shadows of darkness
cowering in the corner
sucking their thumb
crying
hiding
and want desperately
to float away
Some are locked
with chains and padlocks
surrounded by barbwire
a key nowhere
to be found
just waiting
for the gate keeper.
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Comments: 38
Thanks Jodi. I read your recent short story and that is some good stuff!
But my ignorance about poetry does not change the fact that I liked the way you phrased it. Good job.
chains and maybe they will float away too.
(-;
To give it a more poetic feel, I would suggest you change 'with purpose' in stanza 1 line 5 to 'in tense' (not intense, but in tense).
This is a very good poem, but I think you should edit it, rework a few lines and republish.
You have caught the very essence of my poem, if you have gotten that feeling. I have reached a point in my trauma work, where the memories are just too painful, and I am having trouble pulling them out. I am just on the edge of "seeing" them, and thus understanding. I am a bit stubborn, and don't want to feel the pain, so I am having trouble moving forward. In summary, your feeling and analysis is absolutely correct, and you picked up the feeling that I was trying to convey.
Thank you for your suggestions. They are always welcome!
Mental energy is very taxing.
Bye!!!