The Scent of God - A Tale of Beryl's Ordeals with Her Truth

Beryl Singleton Bissel's book "The Scent of God: a Memoir" is the story of a cloistered nun, a wife, a widow, a single mom, a divorcee and a happily married woman. The lyrical prose and the simple and the easy flowing style of the book effectively disguises the enormous amount of time, the effort and the emotional energy involved in the making of this memoir.  Beryl was distressed and thus spurred to write the memoir on overhearing her school-going son's seething remark to a friend that, as an offspring of an ex-priest and an ex-nun, his life was going to be doomed. In order to tell in all sincerity the inevitable sequence of events that determined the course of her life, she took a class in memoir writing.  According to Beryl she spent ten years learning how to write and another ten years writing the book, all the while honing her skills as a feature writer and a newspaper columnist. Once the first draft of the memoir was ready and submitted to the agent, it was immediately evident to the agent and the publisher that Beryl had a unique story of great human interest to tell.  From that point on it was an endless job of editing and re-editing the draft, constantly pushed, perhaps a little vicariously, by her agent and publisher to bring out the whole story in all its intimate details. Finally, after eight thoroughly revised drafts, and when Beryl was 66 years old, the book was published by a well-known literary publisher, Counterpoint NY.  The entire exercise proves Beryl's grit, single-minded dedication and a stubbornness of purpose, which has also been her characteristic throughout her life. It is no wonder that, after such a painstaking refinement of her work, the Minneapolis Star Tribune named Beryl as the "Best of 2006 Minnesota Authors."

Beryl's conscientiousness in telling the whole truth is reflected in the fact that she revisited the old places several times, interviewed the living people involved, and took every care not to fall into a memoir writer's usual trap of unintentionally fictionalizing the events recalled from memory.  She mentions that telling the story 30 years later, incorporating all the development of mind and heart that has taken place during those 30 years, will be the very thing that "creates" the memoir-- the fuller story. In respect of its candor, cadence and penetrating self-analysis Beryl's memoir is comparable with none other than "My Experiments with Truth", an autobiography of Mahatma Gandhi.

Beryl's memoir has the quality of a thorough brief, unsparing in the minutest of details having any bearing on the overall case.  The author's powerful video-graphic memory dating back to her earliest childhood aids her in telling her story with unfaltering credibility and realism. Yet the tone is very personal and confessional, confiding the heart's utmost confidences to a trusted friend and a patient and understanding listener in order to purge the heart of whatever residual feelings of guilt or regret.

Contrary to the expectations of this work to be a theological or philosophical treatise, it actually reads like a passionate romantic novel.  It is the story of star-struck love which happens accidentally like a lightening strike between two Godly persons separated by a generational gap and both committed to the holy vows of lifelong celibacy.  The element of forbidden love makes it loaded with scandalous material of gossipy value with the likelihood of inviting societal recriminations and stigma.

The tumultuous love affair continues, albeit discreetly, amidst picturesque landscapes and adventurous driveways of Puerto Rico and Italy. It gushes forth like a barrage burst with a curious mix of abstinence and abandon, intensity and inexperience.  It is a profound discovery of wild ecstasies of physical intimacy between two loving persons.

The characteristic dignity and an immaculate sense of form that is resplendent in this love affair, although besotted with human vulnerability and tragic flaws from the very beginning, makes it the most fascinating and lovable.  There is desperation to give it matrimonial sanctity in spite of great uncertainties in obtaining proper dispensation from conflicting sacramental vows, a creeping cancerous ailment and penurious circumstances with no means in sight to support the aspirations of a stable and secure family.

Finally, the God who reveals Himself to Beryl at her darkest hour is a boisterous ‘laughing God' - a past-master in pulling a series of synchronistic strings in extricating the enmeshed lives of His guileless faithful. And, one of his laughing minions is the good Bishop Ahr of Trent, who was once a spiritual director of Beryl, a privy to her confidences and who stood by her through most of her travails.

The death-defying love eventually does find its blessed consummation in matrimony, overcoming all obstacles in its path.  For the two, who once dedicated their entire lives to serve God, it is another kind of transcendental experience filled with joys and sorrows, and pleasures and pains; the struggles, the frustrations and the triumphs of partaking in the divine miracle of bringing fresh and new life into this world.

Towards the end, the tone of the memoir becomes increasingly pensive and sad as it details the grim visitation of masked death into the unsuspectingly playful parlor of intimately interwoven life.

In spite of the hurts and misunderstandings received in life the author remains placidly unembittered.  The following questions to the author are to gauge the other side the impact of the author's work and not to stir those hurt feelings.

Question: Did any aspect of your life blow up into scandalous proportions big enough to cause you mental turmoil any time?

Answer: I have endured much mental torment in my life but most of it has come from my own moral and spiritual dilemmas and not because of public repercussions. Vittorio was the one who suffered from slanderous accusations and condemnation. These caused him incredible anguish and I believe these accusations and slanders were what triggered the cancer that would eventually take his life.
   

I have found it difficult to forgive the Catholic hierarchy for the suffering it caused Vittorio, who was one of it's most dedicated and loving sons. I see this Church (whom I love nonetheless and despite its all too human flaws) continuing to silence and condemn those who seek to serve according to their consciences rather than dogma. Jesus' message was one of compassion and openness and he was put to death as a heretic so I should not be surprised that this should also be the fate of those who preach a similar message of love and acceptance. Nonetheless this condemnation troubles me
greatly.

Question: Did you experience any adverse reaction, especially of intolerant and hateful kind, from any segment of the society after the publication of the memoir?

Answer: I expected much more adverse reactions than I actually received which totaled two letters telling me that I was flagrantly promoting my fall from grace and leading others astray and two negative reader reviews on Amazon --  one proclaiming the book scandalous and another saying that I was just another dysfunctional author.
   

I knew that once the book left my hands and made its way into the world, that it was no longer mine to protect -- that readers would interpret it according to their own insights. A wonderful writing friend wrote me that I should not take these attacks personally. I am going to quote her directly as most of us writers and many of us Gatherers have at one time suffered such attacks and her words are strengthening.

"One thing I want to stress as you get feedback from people on your book. This is an important lesson that I did not learn until much too late. The feedback is not about you; it is about them. It tells you much about the person who gives it, but nothing at all about you. It is not about you . . . if they read something else into the writing, it is not because you put it there. It is what they have put there for unconscious reasons they do not know. It is easier to face the anger and the criticism when you understand that, and actually, to stay grounded and not get big headed when you understand that. To think it is about you or that you caused it, gives you a far greater role in people's lives than you have. I don't believe God likes that competition."
                                                 
                                                 
Web site : http://www.berylsingletonbissell.com/
Gather blog: http://www.beryl.gather.com/
Journey blog: http://www.berylsingletonbissell.livedigital.com/
Purchase books: http://www.perseusbookspromos.com/buy.php?ISBN=1582433488