The comments are about a preliminary version of the chapter I'm entering in the First Chapters contest. I had to remove that article so I wouldn't have the chapter in two places, but I want to preserve the comments.
Dale, we're going to make a romance writer out of you yet! Loved the hook! Strong, calloused hands is exactly the right touch. She's tough, he's tough, she's untrusting, yet strangely attracted. Yep. That's the formula for a romance novel!
you're moving it too fast for my tastes. I have no real sense of the characters yet and your dialgoue is to stilted. I love your scene ending hook though...good job. Once you've completed this first draft, put it away for a couple of weeks, that way, when you go to do the edits, you'll see it with a fresher eye. I also suggest, during your 'rest' time, that you read a few "How-to" books. Self-Editing for Fiction wrters is a good one to read before starting the editing process. Also, if you haven't already, join RWA. They have a great chapter in Illinois.
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Comments: 4
Once you've completed this first draft, put it away for a couple of weeks, that way, when you go to do the edits, you'll see it with a fresher eye. I also suggest, during your 'rest' time, that you read a few "How-to" books. Self-Editing for Fiction wrters is a good one to read before starting the editing process.
Also, if you haven't already, join RWA. They have a great chapter in Illinois.
best of luck!
Terri